The Reinvention of Rachel Barbara Berry
by GleefullGleek77
Summary: Rachel returns to New York after Nationals Season 2 and meets the love of her life. Adventures full of heartbreak, friendship, family, and love follow. The talented diva's life is turned upside down and flipped right side up again. Nothing will ever be the same as it was. Will love conquer all? Or will the Glee club have to put together the pieces of a broken star? Rachel/O.C.
1. Bulletproof

Bulletproof

Rachel ran into the bathroom for what felt like the millionth time this week, dripping in grape slushie. She washed her hair in the sink and put it in a side braid. Then she changed into one of the outfits that she always kept here.

"One more week," She thought to herself. It was one more week until school let out for summer. Apparently twelfth place at Nationals wasn't that great.

Rachel changed and then smoothed down her dark purple high-waisted cotton skirt and tucked in her white shirt. She slid her flats back on and looked at the mirror.

This was getting hard to take. Every single day at least once. She would say that it was alright because she had Finn. But she wasn't really sure. He was always distracted in that Finn way. He was never around when this happened. He ignored the signs when she was with him. Different clothes, wet hair, etc.

She wiped a tear away. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

She walked into glee, putting on a show-face. She wouldn't show them how hurt she was. This glee club seemed to drag on and on. Santana made a special effort to let Rachel know that it was **still** her fault about losing Nationals. Then some other glee clubbers joined in, agreeing. Rachel decided not to even respond. She had a headache and couldn't concentrate. When the practice was finished Rachel was out of the room first.

"Hey, Rachel. Wait up," Finn said, catching up with her. Rachel let herself hope that he'd pick up on how upset she felt and would comfort her as a boyfriend should.

"Are you going out of town this weekend?" he asked. Rachel's hopes were crushed.

"Yeah. I'll see you later, Finn," Rachel said, walking away.

Why did he have to do this. She knew she loved him. She had pictured them together for so long. She got in her car, turned up the music full blast and drove home.

* * *

><p>"Hello, sweetheart!" Leroy Berry said as Rachel walked into the front door.<p>

"Hi Daddy," She said, kissing his cheek.

"How was your day? Oh," he said, seeing the still wet hair and different clothes. He got up and hugged her.

"One more week pumpkin," he said, "Also you have this trip to look forward to," Leroy said happily. Rachel smiled. She and her dads were flying to New York for the weekend. They were going to see a show. Most importantly to Rachel, she was going to see Shelby. She wanted to talk to her mother about all of this.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked out of the airplane and looked around for hair like hers. Then she saw Shelby. She ran and hugged her mother.<p>

Shelby was surprised; she hadn't expected Rachel to be this glad to see her. It made her smile.

Rachel bent down to Beth's level. She had golden ringlets and had Puck's hazel eyes.

"Hey, sweetie," Rachel said, picking Beth up. Shelby and her dad's were exchanging pleasantries. They all got a cab and made their way back to Shelby's apartment, which was very nice. Rachel sighed and fell back on her bed.

Shelby walked in and saw Rachel sprawled.

"What's wrong baby?" She asked, sitting down on the bed beside Rachel. Rachel looked at her then poured her heart out to her mother.

After she was done telling her mother everything she felt loads better. Shelby rubbed Rachel's back, opting to say nothing, knowing that the real thing Rachel had to do was vent.

Shelby stood up, grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled Rachel into her room.

"Let's get you ready for dinner," Shelby said.

* * *

><p>Dinner that night was amazing. Shelby was funny and told the best stories. Rachel felt pretty in a simple black strapless dress that hugged her all over and black strappy heels. Her hair fell in loose waves down her back. She was stuffed afterward. She and Shelby stayed up late watching Funny Girl and eating ice cream. Rachel was happy.<p>

Just before bed she decided to check her Facebook. She got on and commented on the glee-clubbers-that-didn't-hate-her's posts. Just then she saw some pictures. Her eyes widened and her breath caught. She clicked on them. There was a whole album taken last night. She started to cry.

Shelby came in to wish her daughter good night, but stopped when she saw Rachel crying at something on her laptop. Shelby walked over and saw the laptop. It was that Finn guy Rachel was dating. He was making out with and grinding with a blond girl, Quinn.

Shelby gently shut the laptop and wrapped her daughter in her arms and let her cry. Shelby rubbed her back and began playing with Rachel's hair as her daughter began to calm down. It was going to be a long weekend. She and Rachel and Shelby fell asleep like that. Hiram Berry turned down the lights and covered the two with a blanket.

Rachel sleepily opened her eyes and saw it was only six thirty. She rolled over and got up, waking Shelby.

The two quietly got dressed and walked to go get a coffee. They sat down and Rachel stared at her hands in her lap.

"All right baby, you have got to get over this boy. If he would go out and hurt you like that, he isn't worth your time," Shelby said, looking Rachel in the eyes.

"How?" Rachel asked.

"Sing," Shelby said quickly, "Show him exactly what he's missing." Rachel slowly smiled.

"I'll help you choreograph," Shelby said, eyes lighting up at the possibilities.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked out into school Monday morning. She finished off the big can of Monster that she had, receiving many lectures about nutrition, had for breakfast and threw it in the garbage. She had major jet lag. Boys did double takes as she walked down the hall. She walked right passed an opened mouth Azimio, who had a slushy in his hands that she guessed was meant for her. She walked down the hall with a slight smile on her face, looking straight ahead.<p>

She was wearing a dark grey tank top with a white camisole peeking out with some short jean shorts. She was wearing purple converse.

Rachel Berry had decided to stop being the innocent little girl who let herself get hurt by stupid Neanderthals. She walked to her first class, ignoring stares. She honestly didn't care. She plopped down and checked her phone and saw there was a text from Shelby.

**Shelby: Good luck today!**

**Rachel: Thanks mom, I think it'll be great. **

**Shelby: I bet you got some stares this morning**

**Rachel: Just a few :)**

**Shelby: Beth says hi, I will talk to you later**

"Miss Berry would you like to tell us about the engrossing conversation you are having?" Mr. Beck said. Rachel frowned. He was her least favorite teacher in the universe.

"Are you sure?" She asked raising her eyebrows, "These texts are kind of… sexy," She lied, smiling devilishly at the end. The class all collectively laughed. Mr. Beck was a certified prude. He blushed heavily.

"Well… Miss Berry, please put your phone away," he said and turned to write their assignment on the board. Rachel zoned out that whole lesson.

Rachel all but skipped to glee. She was so excited to do this. She had lingered at her locker, making sure that she would be last into glee. She walked in texting, as if she had all the time in the world.

"Rachel!" Finn said jumping and began defending himself and going on and on. Rachel just looked at him the whole time, letting him get it out. When he finished, she pointed to the chair he had just abandoned.

"Sit," She said bossily. Finn's eyebrow furrowed. She raised her eyebrows. He sighed and sat down.

She turned to Quinn.

"Thank you," she said to Quinn, whose eyes widened, "You made me realize just how stupid Finn was. It wasn't just this that made me mad. He's just not a very good boyfriend. I hope we can become friends soon."

She turned to Finn and smiled. She signaled the lead guitarist to start.

The band started and so did Rachel, doing the dance that Shelby and her had made up.

**Been there, done that, messed around  
>I'm having fun, don't put me down<br>I'll never let you sweep me off my feet  
>I won't let you in again<br>The messages I tried to send  
>My information's just not going in<br>**

**I'm burning bridges shore to shore  
>I break away from something more<br>I'm not turned off to love until it's cheap  
>Been there, done that, messed around<br>I'm having fun, don't put me down  
>I'll never let you sweep me off my feet<br>**  
>She circled the chair Finn was in<p>

**This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof<br>This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof<br>**

She managed to land the flip that she'd been nervous about. She got a couple cheers.

**I won't let you turn around  
>And tell me now I'm much too proud<br>To walk away from something when it's dead  
>Do, do, do, your dirty words<br>Come out to play when you are hurt  
>There are certain things that should be left unsaid<br>**  
><strong>Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch<br>And life's too short for me to stop  
>Oh, baby, your time is running out<br>I won't let you turn around  
>And tell me now I'm much too proud<br>All you do is fill me up with doubt  
><strong>  
>Britney, who had understood the main dance and had it down, got up and joined Rachel, and so did Santana.<p>

**This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof<br>This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof <strong>

Rachel would do a move and then Santana and Britney would echo it back, until they all did the dance all together.

**This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof<br>This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof<strong>

**This time...I'll be...bulletproof**

**This time...I'll be...bulletproof**

**This time baby,**  
><strong>I'll be, bulletproof<strong>  
><strong>This time baby,<strong>  
><strong>I'll be, bulletproof<strong>

**This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof<br>This time baby,  
>I'll be, bulletproof<br>**

Rachel ended right in front of Finn, breathing hard.

She looked at Quinn.

"He's all yours," Rachel said. She looked back at Finn, and winked at him. She walked over and sat Indian style by Kurt. He nodded at her and gave her a high five.

* * *

><p>Rachel got home and sighed happily. She did it! She had gotten over Finn. She went and helped her dad with dinner. At dinner, her dads kept looking at each other, as if they were trying hard to contain themselves. Rachel took a drink of water.<p>

"Alright. What are you guys so excited about?" She asked looking back and forth between them.

"We are staying in New York for most of the summer!" Leroy burst out.

"What?" Rachel all but yelled.

Hiram smiled at his husband and daughter.

"We found out that we were needed there for work this summer. We told Shelby this and she said to bring you along and that you could stay with her. Shelby helps out at a Julliard summer thing and she wanted to sign you up."

Rachel squealed and got up and hugged both of her dads. She went to go call Shelby. She saw that she had a text.

**Jesse: I hear you're coming to New York. Cu soon ;) **

* * *

><p><strong>I'm excited for this story.<strong>

**Pleez give me suggestions**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Use Somebody

Use Somebody

Rachel walked into Shelby's apartment, hardly able to contain her joy. Her father's had decided to stay in a hotel and she was back in New York, the city of her dreams. She went to her room and unpacked.

Shelby was at work. She worked in a music store that sold sheet music and musical instruments. It had recently opened and was doing amazingly well.

Rachel finished and wandered around the apartment slowly. This was going to be her home for the next two and a half months. She decided that this summer would be for her. She was going to focus on music, since that's who she was. She was going to dance more and sing till she was hoarse. Rachel Berry was going to change for the better.

The next morning Rachel got up and dressed. She wore a silver tank top, a cropped black sleeveless vest over black silk shorts. She wore metallic purple Sperry Topsiders. Her hair fell in loose waves down her back.

Shelby made them breakfast and then, after dropping Beth off at daycare, the two went to Julliard for the summer camp. She was so excited. The two walked up and Rachel's eyes grew wide. This is where she saw herself when she finally got out of Lima. Among students that loved music as much as she did. There were about thirty kids in her group. Their counselors came in and Rachel rolled her eyes. She should have known that Jesse would be a counselor. He winked at her when he saw her, she smiled. He walked over.

"Why are you still here? I thought you'd have gone back to L.A. by now," Rachel said as he drew close enough to hear her.

He sat down in the chair beside her.

"I was planning on going back, but then I ran into a representative from here that had seen me perform several times with Vocal Adrenaline. She offered to show some videos to the admissions office and I accepted. They said I could come here next year and I decided that going here would be better for me," Jesse said.

Rachel was about to talk more when the camp director quieted the group.

"Thank you all for coming to Julliard's summer camp for future students. Here we hope to instill an even greater love of music and dance in you. You are here to both show us what you've got and to improve. Now follow Miss Shelby Corcoran to the auditorium please. Rachel got up and walked with Jesse.

"Are you with Finn?" Jesse asked. Rachel smiled inwardly, that was something she liked about Jesse. He always got to the point.

"I broke up with him. He cheated on me. He has never really cared about my feelings and I decided that I had had enough," Rachel said.

Jesse nodded, not letting on how happy he was that Rachel had taken Finn out of her life. Rachel told Jesse about how she sang Bulletproof to him and he laughed and nodded in approval. "Do you think we could have another chance?"

Rachel shook her head sadly and parted with him as he and the other counselors went up on stage with Shelby. She sat down next to a shy looking boy, with dark hair and gorgeous turquoise eyes, smiling kindly at him, wondering what he did musically. She looked around at the others. She could tell some of the other girls were dancers, they were tall and lithe. Shelby then began.

"I want each and every one of you to understand exactly what music means specifically to you. At the end of this camp you are going to perform, by yourself or with other campers in our first camp show. We have a number of celebrities and alumni attending. Your job is to show them that this school has a bright future filled with turning out future stars. You have the full use of our facilities and equipment. Both I and the rest of the counselors are available for advice. In the meantime, the first activity is a duet. Look to the person on your left. That is your partner. You have two hours to plan and then we will all perform for each other," Shelby said, and then walked out the door.

Rachel turned towards the boy.

"Hi. I'm Rachel Berry," She said.

"James Richards," James, the shy boy, said back.

"What do you play?"

"Well my big thing is guitar. I can do backup vocals and harmonization pretty well. What do you do?" He asked quietly.

"Basically singing and dancing, but I don't think we should dance," she said, looking around, "everybody is up and choreographing."

"Do you have song ideas? I have a few." She said. He nodded and the two stood up and went to work by themselves in the hall. James got his guitar and the two of them fooled around with different songs until they decided on one.

Rachel really liked James. He was really shy and was very talented and seemed like a great friend. She watched in amazement as he played the guitar. He was unbelievable. They practiced well together, both losing themselves in the quiet song. Rachel could help but marvel at how good looking he was.

"Alright, we have, like five minutes left," Rachel said, standing up and offering James a hand up.

"Hey, do you want to go out with me and some friends tonight? We go to this karaoke club all the time," he asked, hopefully. Rachel was stumped, was this a date?

He saw the hesitation on her face.

"Not as a date," he said, blushing, "just as friends."

"I'd love to go," she said smiling back. The two walked in and sat down. She had a feeling she'd just made a great friend and companion for the summer.

Rachel walked up on stage with James after sitting through tons of dance numbers with CD's and minimal singing. Their number was the exact opposite. Acoustic and sweet and still.

James plugged his guitar in and clipped a mike on so he could back Rachel up. She grabbed a regular microphone and the two walked to center stage, both on stools.

James started playing, closing his eyes, immediately lost in the song. He backed Rachel up, singing quietly behind Rachel's clear voice.

(**Rachel**, **Rachel with James backup**)

**OhOhOhOhOh**

**OhOhOhOhOh**

**OhOhOhOhOh**

Rachel held the mike close to her lips and closed her eyes, delivering a soft sound that managed to sound clear and vulnerable.

**I've been roaming around  
>Always looking down at all I see<br>Painted faces fill the places I can't reach  
><strong>  
>She opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, not even noticing or caring that everybody was transfixed by her.<p>

**You know that I could use somebody  
>You know that I could use somebody<strong>

She closed her eyes

**Someone like you  
>And all you know<br>And how you speak  
>Countless lovers undercover of the street<strong>

Rachel and James were both very into the music. Rachel's voice seemed otherworldly and James' fingers moved smoothly and played amazingly

**You know that I could use somebody  
><strong>**You know that I could use somebody  
>Someone like you<strong>

**OhOhOhOhOh**

**OhOhOhOhOh**

**OhOhOhOhOh**

She wasn't sure who she was singing to. She thought for a second and realized she was singing to the person that she'd eventually meet and fall in love with. She wanted the perfect person. Not people that she settled for.

**Off in the night  
>While you live it up I'm off to sleep<br>Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat**

Rachel allowed some rasp into her voice, shutting her eyes tight

**I hope it's gonna make you notice  
>I hope it's gonna make you notice<strong>

**Someone like me**  
><strong>Someone like me<strong>  
><strong>Someone like me<strong>  
><strong>Somebody<strong>

**I'm ready I'm ready**

**I'm ready I'm ready**

**OhOhOhOhOh**

**Someone like you  
>Somebody<br>Someone like you  
>Somebody<br>Someone like you  
>Somebody<br>****  
><strong>James stopped and let Rachel sing without music to end the song

**I've been roaming around  
>Always looking down at all I see.<strong>

Rachel felt a tear fall from her eyes as she looked up from singing the last note. She wiped it off and grabbed James hand giving it a squeeze and mouthing "thank you". They stood up and turned to the still-speechless group of people.

Shelby looked at Rachel, fiercely proud of her baby. She had managed to connect to the song so deeply, while none of the other people had. Also the boy that had played with her was spectacular. She stood up and began to clap by herself. Soon everybody joined in with envious looks.

Rachel ran out of Shelby's apartment, carrying her jacket and purse in her arms. She saw James smiling face and got in a cab with him.

"Everybody's gonna meet us at the club. You look nice," James said, smiling at her.

Rachel smiled back. She had on dressy high-waisted grey shorts with a floaty white tank top tucked in. She had bright purple wedges underneath. Her hair was in a messy braid down her back.

"So do you," She said. He really did. She couldn't stop looking into his beautiful eyes.

"We were amazing earlier," Rachel said. He smiled and nodded.

"So what's the deal with the karaoke place?" Rachel asked him.

"It opened about a year ago. It's the place to go to showplace yourself. Basically you tell the band what to play and they play it. Tons of Julliard kids go there. People say that talent scouts, casting directors, and agents frequent the place,"

"Are you going to perform?" Rachel asked.

"Yes. Will you?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Of course," she said, smiling widely.

Rachel walked into the club and loved the place. It was buzzing with people.

She smiled and was led by James to the open mike sheet where she signed both of them up. He then led her to where his friends were waiting.

He introduced them all and they seemed friendly enough. He explained to her that he spent summers here in New York with his dad and went to school while staying at his mom's house. He was called up for his performance before he could finish. He went up with a couple of his friends, who were going to back him up. He grabbed his mike. Rachel was surprised that he didn't use his guitar. She smiled when she heard what he was playing and ran out on the dance floor with a bunch of his friends to dance.

**We'll be young forever  
>We'll be young forever<strong>

**We can be like prisoners, yeah**  
><strong>And we can be alone<strong>  
><strong>We can make a mess like no one knows<strong>  
><strong>And risk it on our own<strong>

**Spendin' the money that we don't have**  
><strong>Cause we don't care, no-oh<strong>  
><strong>Livin' like kings with broken strings<strong>  
><strong>And our face down to the floor<strong>

Rachel loved his onstage energy. He was everwhere, interacting with every member of the band.

**Livin' with our headphones up  
>We've got sound and that's enough<br>Nobody can touch us  
>And we run and we run and we run<strong>

**Hey, hey, we'll be young forever**  
><strong>We'll be young forever 'til forever stops<strong>  
><strong>We're singing<strong>  
><strong>Hey hey we'll be young forever<strong>  
><strong>Tonight will last forever 'til our bodies drop<strong>  
><strong>We can run through the night<strong>  
><strong>Write our name up in the sky<strong>  
><strong>got the music on our side<strong>  
><strong>Ain't no body gonna catch us singin'<strong>

**Hey hey we'll be young forever**  
><strong>On the world forever and we'll never stop<strong>

Rachel closed her eyes and danced, feeling his eyes on her, she opened them and smiled at him then resumed dancing.

**Look at us look at us we'll take the whole world by surprise  
>Million dollar mindset in place, you can see it in our eyes<br>Everything here is ours to take so come and take your side**

**Livin' like kings with broken strings**  
><strong>And the beats so synthesized<strong>

**We can turn the speakers up**  
><strong>Cause we've got sound and that's enough<strong>  
><strong>Nobody can touch us<strong>  
><strong>And we run and we run and we run<strong>

**Hey, hey, we'll be young forever**  
><strong>We'll be young forever 'til forever stops<strong>

**We're singing**  
><strong>Hey, hey, we'll be young forever<strong>  
><strong>Tonight will last forever 'til our bodies drop<strong>

**We can run through the night**  
><strong>Write our name up in the sky<strong>  
><strong>Got the music on our side<strong>  
><strong>Ain't nobody gonna catch us singin'<strong>

**Hey, hey, we'll be young forever**  
><strong>On the run forever and we'll never stop<strong>

As it slowed he slid forward on his knees, stood up, and did a backflip.

**We're gonna rule the world, tonight  
>The beat of the drums keeps us alive<strong>

He landed the flip and everybody cheered.

**Tonight will last forever 'til our bodies drop…**

**Hey, hey, we'll be young forever**  
><strong>we'll be young forever 'til forever stops<strong>

**We're singin'**  
><strong>Hey, hey, we'll be young forever<strong>  
><strong>Tonight will last forever 'til our bodies drop<strong>

**We can run through the night**  
><strong>Write our name up in the sky<strong>  
><strong>We can run, run, run away<strong>  
><strong>Ain't nobody gonna catch us singing<strong>

**Hey, hey, we'll be young forever**  
><strong>On the run forever and we'll never stop<strong>

**Run, run, run away**  
><strong>We can run, run, run away<strong>

Rachel jumped up along with everybody else to clap for him. He smiled shyly and made his way back to Rachel and the rest the group. He sat by her.

"That was great," Rachel said smiling up at him. Then they called her name. She got up to the stage. As she was going up she saw Jesse walk in and smirk at her.

She walked up determined and told the band what she wanted and they began.

She took a deep breath and began, looking Jesse deep in the eyes.

**I'm on the doorstep with my key turned in the door,  
>Walk the livin room and you're side on my floor<strong>

She closed her eyes, remembering what Jesse had done to her and felt mad about how he all of the sudden expected her to come back to him.

**My heart is achin and I've never felt this bad  
>I pinch myself to check that all of this is real<br>Keep thinkin I'm not lettin on I feel this sad  
>Then you've got the cheek to ask me how I feel<strong>

**And I say**

**Absolutley nothing, I'm absolutley fine  
>Absolutely nothing you can say to change my mind<br>Absolutely nothing, I'm absolutely fine  
>Absolutely nothing you can say to change my mind<strong>

Rachel closed her eyes and felt the music

**I know that you just want to see me get upset  
>My world turned upside down so what did you expect?<strong>

**My heart is achin and I've never felt this bad**  
><strong>I pinch myself to check that all of this is real<strong>  
><strong>Keep thinkin I'm not lettin on I feel this sad<strong>  
><strong>Then you've got the cheek to ask me how I feel<strong>

**And I say**

**Absolutley nothing, I'm absolutley fine**  
><strong>Absolutely nothing you can say to change my mind<strong>  
><strong>Absolutely nothing, I'm absolutely fine<strong>  
><strong>Absolutely nothing you can say to change my mind<strong>

**You've seen me cry, too many times**  
><strong>But not this time, no, not this time<strong>  
><strong>I don't need you, to help me through<strong>  
><strong>I'll be just fine, I'll be just fine<strong>

**And I say**

**Absolutley nothing, I'm absolutley fine**  
><strong>Absolutely nothing you can say to change my mind<strong>  
><strong>Absolutely nothing, I'm absolutely fine<strong>  
><strong>Absolutely nothing you can say to change my mind<strong>

She finished and everybody clapped and cheered.

Rachel smiled and bowed then walked over to James, who sat down with her at an empty table  
>"So, I'm guessing that song was to that Jesse guy," James said, with a slight smile.<p>

"Um, yes. Sophomore year I met him…" Rachel found herself telling the whole story to him.

"Then now that Finn and I are over he expects me to come running back to him. This summer is about having fun and getting more into music," Rachel said.

James looked down at the table then back at her, stunning her with his eyes.

"I was wondering if, maybe, you might want have some of that fun… with me," he said with a small smile.

Rachel smiled and grabbed one of his hands and nodded. Just then a couple of James' friends got on stage and began singing Give Me Everything by Pitbull. Rachel laughed and pulled James out to the floor and they were quickly surrounded by other kids. They danced and Rachel was happy to see Jesse was a great dancer. Later the two walked to Rachel's apartment, ten blocks away, enjoying the warm night. They held hands. As they got to the steps that led into Rachel's building. Rachel got up on the first step while he stayed on the ground.

"Bye," she whispered.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked.

Rachel nodded and they leaned forward together. The kiss was both passionate but gentle. She'd never been kissed like this. He put his hand on Rachel's cheek. After a minute he pulled back and smiled.

"See you tomorrow, Rachel," and walked off, hailing a cab. Rachel sighed and walked in. This was going to be a great summer.

**OK all yalls who wanted St. Berry… DON'T YELL AT ME!**

**I fell in love with James and decided I wanted to give Rachel what I think is her perf boyfriend. The whole point of this is her discovering who she is and her potential and not settling for people who wanna change her. Nuff said**

**The Use Somebody performance was kind of based off the Paramore version**

**Young Forever was to show James' love of life**

**Absolutely Nothing… well PM me if you didn't get that **

**I do not own any of that; Kings of Leon, The Ready Set and Lily Allen do.**

**I'm gonna do a couple more summer chapters. Eventually senior year will start and the club will get to meet the new Rachel**

**Tell me what you think! Reviews are like SNL skits! Ah-mazing! ****  
><strong>


	3. Falling Slowly

Falling Slowly

Summer was a whirlwind for Rachel. She and Shelby were getting closer and closer. Rachel found herself telling Shelby everything about everything over the summer. Shelby was glad to know her daughter. Rachel was glad she had a confidant in Shelby. The two also bonded over shopping. They had managed to keep Rachel's prim and polished but had added a bit of masculinity with more pants and jackets. Shelby wouldn't admit to wanting to get rid of the animal sweaters, but Rachel knew. Also, Rachel found out that Shelby was addicted to Saturday Night Live so the two always watched reruns, anxiously waiting the start of a new season.

She had come to adore Beth. She was amazingly happy to have a sister. Rachel sang to Beth and brushed her hair till it shined. Beth called Rachel "sissy". Shelby loved the relationship between the two.

Rachel and James became inseparable. She liked all of him. His gorgeous eyes and face. His body, which was lean, but well muscled. His broad shoulders. At times she had to stop herself, feeling herself blush.

She found out when they were sitting on a bench in Central Park that he had had severe depression off and on in his life. He had watched for her reaction.

She looked down at her hands and his one much bigger hand in her lap. She then looked into his eyes.

"You inspire me," she said softly, rubbing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

"How?" he asked, confused. Rachel smiled slightly. He had no idea how strong of a person he was.

"You live your life the way you want to and you don't let anything get in your way," She said simply. She then grabbed his hand to continue their walk.

She found out that New York was the only really stable place for him. His mother's work moved her around all of the time.

He also insisted on teaching her how to play guitar, which, after a lot of practice, she started to understand.

James showed her all of New York. He brought her to places she'd never heard of. She fell in love even more with the city that would be her home someday.

At the camp, Rachel had made friends with tons of the kids. Old Rachel would have been standoffish around the people that were her competition in a way. She figured that it would be easier not to hate them. At the camp, she ended up usually dancing three hours a day. She loved it and was pleased to see that she was becoming more lithe and muscled from all of the dancing.

She and Jesse skirted around each other the whole time. When they spoke, they were civil. Otherwise, each minded their own business and that was fine with Rachel. She was done with guys who wanted her to compromise for them.

Rachel and James decided on the Fourth of July after a fun night watching fireworks that they should make things Facebook Official. Rachel immediately got tons of questions from New Directions. She ignored them. Let them think what they want. She told James to ignore friend requests from them for the time being. She didn't want to think about them this summer.

* * *

><p>One night Rachel and Shelby were sitting in Shelby's living room.<p>

"I think I kind of blew my whole I'm-here-to-focus-on-my-independence idea," Rachel said.

"How so?" Shelby asked.

"Well… I kind of can't stop thinking about James," she said slowly.

"I think your idea is still standing. Are you changing for James? Does he put down the parts of you that you love best?" Shelby said, sitting up and facing her daughter.

"No. Those are the…," she pause and smiled, "parts of me he loves best. God, is Mr. Shue always right?" she said, laughing.

Shelby smiled; glad her daughter had found somebody like James. She had a feeling that James was getting just as attached to Rachel. They two drifted together at camp, almost what seemed subconsciously. She was afraid how Rachel would take going away from him at the end of the summer. She sighed and chose not to rain on her daughter's parade.

* * *

><p>It was the day of the camp show and Rachel was so excited. They whole day was spent there, preparing for the show. James hadn't told her what he was doing.<p>

"Good luck," Rachel whispered to James before he went on. He nodded and kissed her hard. She couldn't understand the sad look on his face as he turned and walked away to the now-black stage. Rachel stood there, ready to watch him blow everybody away.

Rachel noticed that as the a couple days were left in the summer, James became quieter and more closed off. She didn't ask him because she sensed he didn't want to talk about it. She was worried about him though.

The lights came up and it was just James at a baby grand piano. Rachel watched him from the side of the stage.

**You disappear with all your good intentions  
>And all I am is all I could not mention<br>**

James voice had a rawness and vulnerability that Rachel had never heard before.

**Like who will bring me flowers when it's over  
>And who will give me comfort when it's cold<br>She took a plane to somewhere out in space  
>To start a life and maybe change the world<br>See I never meant for you to have to crawl  
>No I never meant to let you go at all<br>Oh, no  
>Oh, no<br>Don't ever say goodbye  
><strong>

James looked up as he played a bunch of chords and Rachel and everybody in the audience saw the sparkling tears on his face.

**See my head aches from all this thinkin'  
>Feels like a ship God, God knows I'm sinkin'<br>Wonder what you do and where it is you stay  
>These questions like a whirlwind, they carry me away<br>**

James was in his own world. He shut his eyes tight and shook his head.

**Who will bring me flowers when it's over  
>And who will give me comfort when it's cold<br>Who will I belong to when the day just won't give in  
>And who will tell me how it ends and how it all begins<br>Oh, no  
>Oh no<br>**

All of the sudden he looked up and stared straight in Rachel's eyes, stared and then shut his eyes again.

**Don't ever say goodbye  
>I'm only human<br>I said I'm only human  
>I'm only human<br>I said I'm only human  
>I'm only human<br>I said I'm only human  
><strong>

James completely lost control but continued singing.

**I'm human I'm human I'm human  
><strong>

James went into a falsetto that broke Rachel's heart, but it still was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard.

**Ooooh**

**Yeah Oh,  
>Yeah, Oh <strong>

The lights went out on him. The crowd was silent. Then, as one, the crowd screamed in approval for about five minutes straight. They'd never seen so much raw emotion on stage. Of course they didn't think about if he was alright, they assumed it was just for the stage.

* * *

><p>The curtains closed. Rachel walked out to him, still sitting numbly at the piano. The stage crew gave them a wide berth. She sat gingerly on the bench beside him. He'd always seemed so strong.<p>

He took a deep breath to calm down. He looked at her. She saw a determination in his eyes to explain.

"I don't know how to saw goodbye to you, Rachel. You've made this one of the happiest summers of my life. I've actually never gone this long without feeling my depression. You make me so happy that I don't care about anything but keeping your smile on your face for just a little bit longer. I'm going back to Seattle. You're going to Lima, Ohio," he said, deflated by the end.

Rachel pulled him in. He had his head on her chest. She let him cry. She saw the stage hands standing around, not sure what to do. She didn't care.

"James?" a woman's voice said from behind them. They both turned.

"Mom?" he said, wiping tears from his eyes.

She walked forward and put her arm on his shoulder.

"Go to the bathroom and calm down, sweetie," she said gently. He nodded and left.

"Are you Rachel Berry?" James' mom said.

"I am."

"Then I have you to thank. I've video chatted with him all summer. Being with you has made him happier than I've ever seen him. He goes on and on about the fun stuff you guys do everyday. You have no idea how much you've changed him," The woman said. Rachel smiled at her.

"I…" Rachel paused, "I think I love him." Rachel's eyes widened, shocked at her own words. It had only been two and a half months. But she felt it was true.

"Well. I guess that settles it then."

"Um. Settles what?" Rachel asked.

"I talked to my boss. Turns out my company has a floundering branch in Lima, Ohio. After hearing my case, he said the place needed somebody to put it back on track. He asked me to go their.

Rachel's mouth dropped open. She looked at the woman in awe. She was tall, like James. She had sharp bone structure. In her crisp suit, Rachel would think that she could accomplish anything. She turned and saw James, who looked frozen in shock. Then she saw a huge smile spread on his face.

Rachel walked on the stage. She'd changed into a super flowing lavender dress that ended just below the knee. Every time she moved it rippled. It hugged every curve she had. She was barefoot and her hair fell down in wild curls. She'd ran down to talk to the band and told them their services would not be required. She grabbed a guitar and ran to the stage. She walked out and the lights came up.

People smiled at the small girl. She looked beautiful and free. James smiled at her from his seat by his mother. She pulled up the guitar and began to strum, casually walking to the edge of the stage. She sat down with her legs dangling off the side.

"Will James Richard's please get his butt up here?" Rachel said, continuing her strumming. James stood up, walked up to the stage and jumped up beside her. She smiled at him and began to sing.

(**Rachel**, _James_, _**Both**_)

**I don't know you  
>but I want you<strong>_**  
><strong>_**all the more for that  
><strong>

Recognizing the song, James joined in, and Rachel began to harmonize with him. From in front of them, the orchestra pit, somebody stuck out a guitar, James grabbed it and joined Rachel.

_**Words fall through me  
>and always fool me<br>and I can't react  
><strong>_  
>Both of them looked up from the guitar and Rachel looked deep in James eyes as she sang the next part alone, to him.<p>

**And games that never amount  
>to more than they're meant<br>will play themselves out  
><strong>  
>both of them closed their eyes, feeling the song in every part of them<p>

_**Take this sinking boat  
>and point it home<br>we've still got time  
>Raise your hopeful voice<br>you had the choice  
>you've made it now<br>**_  
><em><strong>falling slowly<br>eyes that know me  
>and I can't go back<br>Wounds that take me  
>and erase me<br>and I'm painted black  
><strong>_

**Well you have suffered enough  
>and warred with yourself<br>it's time that you've won  
><strong>

Both were far gone into the music, both strumming. It felt familiar, like the first day they'd worked together.

_**Take this sinking boat  
>and point it home<br>we've still got time  
>Raise your hopeful voice<br>you had the choice  
>you've made it now<strong>_

**Take this sinking boat**  
><strong>and point it home<strong>  
><strong>we've still got time<strong>  
><strong>Raise your hopeful voice<strong>  
><strong>you had the choice<strong>  
><strong>you've made it now<strong>

_**Falling slowly  
>sing your melody<br>I'll sing it loud  
>loud<strong>_

They both finished and the audience burst into applause just as loud, if not louder than they had for James' performance. They handed down their guitars and Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.

That night, after the show, James had an end of the summer party at his house. Rachel couldn't have been happier. They were forced by people to perform Use Somebody.

Everybody was gone now. James' dad was in New Jersey with some friends for the weekend. His mom was at her hotel. The house was quiet. Rachel looked at the clock. It was two in the morning. She walked up the stairs to James' room. She knocked and walked in.

James was there. He was just in jeans, no shirt. He smiled at her as she walked in.

"Hey," said quietly.

"Hey," she said with a smile. She walked forward and he bent down. Their kiss was slow and sweet. However, the kisses soon became hungry and passionate.

Coming up for air, James stopped. Rachel started dropping small kisses up his neck and across his jaw. She realized they were on his bed.

"What are we doing?" James said breathlessly as Rachel ran her hand down his chest. She stopped.

She moved so that they're faces were inches from each others. She stared in his eyes. They sat like that for about fifteen seconds. Rachel pressed herself against him, not breaking eye contact. Then, both moved at the same time for a burning hot kiss.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming through the windows. It all came back to her in a second. She turned over and came face to face with James who blinked back at her. He was smiling slightly. Last night had been the best night of her life. She scooted toward him and he pulled her in so her head was on his chest. She sighed. He was happy. That made her happy.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Okay. I have no idea where the hell most of this came from. I meant for this to be a happy-ish story. Then I thought that Rachel could become stronger and better if she took care of James rather than vice versa. Plus, not that depression is ever good, but his character was a bit too perfect last chapter… I like this though. <strong>

**I don't own Falling Slowly or Flowers for a Ghost. **

**Pleeeeeeeeez tell me what ya think!**


	4. Shake Me Like a Monkey

**Hey Y'all! I'm very excited for this chapter! **

**I got a review that complimented me on the music (btw thanx!) I challenge you to try to listen while you read. I do that with other Glee fics and it really makes it more awesome! Just find the songs online (Youtube, Bing, Jango, etc.). The songs I pick usually take forever to pick out… so listen! I have great taste in music, if I do say so myself ;) **

**Alrighty, time to start school! **

**Songs:**

**Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol**

**Shake Me Like a Monkey- Dave Matthews Band**

* * *

><p>Shake Me Like a Monkey<p>

Rachel walked out of the airport, hand in hand with James. Her dads followed. They piled into Rachel's dads car. James' mom was going home to pack and was planning on arriving in two days. Rachel's dads had asked James to stay with them and he agreed.

Rachel was beyond excited. She was beginning her senior year, the best year of her life, with a boyfriend that she loved. School started on Monday. She had been asked to meet Kurt and Blaine at the Lima Bean as soon as she got home. She was excited to show off James to two of her best friends. She took out her phone.

**Rachel: I cant wait 4 u to meet James**

**Kurt: I feel like I alredy no him. Uve said so much**

**Rachel: Well he is amazing**

**Kurt: *eyeroll***

**Rachel: Pleez u feel the same way bout Blaine**

**Kurt: Touche**

**Rachel: ha, I g2g almost home**

**Kurt: cu in about an hour!**

Rachel smiled and scooted over to wake James, who had been sleeping on her shoulder. He blinked and looked around.

"Hey," she whispered.

"So this is Lima?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Yep," she said. He nodded and kissed her cheek and then called his mom to tell her they had made it.

Rachel managed to lug her huge suitcase up the stairs to her room, and after much laughter from James at the sight of her falling on her butt down the stairs, he helped her. Rachel showed James the guest room and left to let him unpack. She walked into her familiar room and stopped. She'd changed over the summer. Her room should too.

"Daddy!" she yelled.

"Yes Rachel?" Leroy said, walking out to his daughter.

"Can I redecorate my room?" Rachel said excitedly. Leroy breathed a sigh of relief. He'd been trying to get Rachel to do that for years.

"Yes, sweetheart. Tomorrow we can go over what you want to do," he said. She bounced over and hugged him.

* * *

><p>Rachel and James walked into the Lima Bean. Rachel ran ahead and went to hug Kurt. He squeezed back.<p>

"Rachel, it's great to see you! Your outfit's amazing!" Kurt gushed. Rachel was wearing light blue short jean shorts that were just above her belly button. She wore a white, see through three quarter inch sleeve sleeve lace top with a white cami underneath. She had her hair straightened and half-up with a big tan bow in the back. She had on 70s style platform heels with floral straps. She did look amazing. All her dancing had her in great shape and she was so incredibly happy that she seemed to have a glow about her.

"It's great to see you Rachel, and you do look good," Blaine said from behind Kurt.

"So this must be the famous James!" Kurt said, looking at the boy standing a little behind Rachel. He immediately liked the boy. James had beautiful turquoise eyes, great bone structure and obviously was shy and was sweet. Kurt liked his hair. It was a mess but in a good way.

"Hey," he said, smiling, "Rachel said that you're one of her best friends. It's good to meet you." He said hello to Blaine as well. Rachel said she was going to go get coffee and would be right back. The three boys sat down.

"Alright, James. You seem like a good guy. However, Rachel has dated some jerks and I don't want her to be hurt again," Kurt said.

James smiled. "I would never hurt Rachel," he said simply. Kurt nodded, seeing the boys complete sincerity. James absent mindedly ran his hands through his dark hair.

"I'm guessing you're a performer. What do you do?" Blaine asked.

"I love the guitar but I can sing. I play piano. I've been performing since I was about six. I love music," he said, eyes lighting up. Kurt and Blaine shared a smile. Obviously this was how James and Rachel had connected. Then Rachel came with their two black coffees, huffing about the lady in front of her who had had a Chihuahua in her purse that had kept growling at Rachel. James took a sip of his coffee, trying not to smile, and rubbed Rachel's back. She calmed down, much to Blaine and Kurt's delight. They both thought the couple was adorable.

"You have to join glee club James," Kurt said, bouncing in his seat.

James smiled and chuckled. "Yeah, Rachel convinced me," he said, looking at Rachel out of the corner of his eye. She blushed bright red. Kurt's eyebrows rose. Blaine laughed.

Rachel quickly changed the subject, asking Blaine about his theme park job. They spent about an hour longer there. Rachel told all about her summer and Kurt filled her in on his. They parted and Kurt thought that James was perfect for Rachel. He was patient and a great listener. He knew exactly how to deal with Rachel's "crazy".

* * *

><p>Rachel rolled over in bed, snuggling into James. He woke up and put his arm around her. Her dads were gone, having gone into the office.<p>

"It's raining," Rachel whispered sadly. He smiled and moved to the end of the bed and grabbed his guitar that lay on the chest at the foot of Rachel's bed. He sat back, moved the pillow up so he could sit up. She snuggled into his side. He strummed a little and began to sing.

(**James**, _Rachel_, _**Both**_)

**We'll do it all  
>Everything<br>On our own**

**We don't need**  
><strong>Anything<strong>  
><strong>Or anyone<strong>

Rachel sang the next part, smiling.

_If I lay here  
>If I just lay here<br>Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_**  
><strong>  
>James looked in Rachel's eyes<p>

**I don't quite know  
>How to say<br>How I feel**

**Those three words**  
><strong>Are said too much<strong>  
><strong>They're not enough<strong>

_If I lay here  
>If I just lay here<br>Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  
><em>  
><em><strong>Forget what we're told<br>Before we get too old  
>Show me a garden that's bursting into life<br>**_  
><em><strong>Let's waste time<br>Chasing cars  
>Around our heads<br>**_  
><strong>i need your grace<br>to remind me  
>to find my own<br>**  
><em>If I lay here<br>If I just lay here  
>Would you lie with me and just forget the world?<br>_  
><strong>Forget what we're told<br>Before we get too old  
>Show me a garden that's bursting into life<strong>

_All that I am  
>All that I ever was<br>Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_

_I don't know where_  
><em>Confused about how as well<em>  
><em>Just know that these things will never change for us at all<em>

_**If I lay here  
>If I just lay here<br>Would you lie with me and just forget the world?**_

They sat in silence for a second, then slowly made their way downstairs. James made coffee and Rachel started to make her blueberry pancakes. That turned into a blueberry throwing fight. Eventually they had pancakes, which lacked blueberries due to the previous war.

"So whatcha wanna do?" Rachel said, after they cleaned up.

"I don't know," he said back.

"We could go for a walk," James said.

"Um… rain?"

He walked to the door and pulled an umbrella from the holder.

"This is a new invention. It keeps you dry," he said, grinning. Rachel laughed at shook her head at him. She slid on her flip flops and went out the door, locking it behind her. They walked with the umbrella but soon just danced in the rain together. When they got home they were both soaked. They walked in and saw Rachel's father's home for lunch. Both smiled widely and Rachel's dads shook their heads, and said goodbye as they went out the door back to work. Rachel and James went to take a shower…

* * *

><p>"Ready?" James asked putting his car in park in the senior lot. He had been very confused when Rachel had found out he had a silver Volvo. Rachel had been giggling like a maniac for about five minutes straight. She'd also asked him if he sparkled, confusing him more.<p>

Rachel nodded excitedly and got out of the car. She got her old, worn brown leather messenger bag and slung it over her shoulder. She grabbed James hand and they walked into school together. Rachel felt eyes on her and smiled inwardly.

She was wearing a loose black mini-dress. Over it she had on a light pink blazer, unbuttoned with the sleeves pushed up. She had black lace-up oxford heels. She had a long, large gold key necklace She got to her locker and put her bag in her locker and grabbed her first period book and notebook. She showed James where his first class was. He gave her a goodbye peck and walked into the room. Rachel noticed that kids were staring at her. She smiled at them and then walked off. School was definitely going to be different.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into Glee with James in tow, not knowing what to expect. Conversations stopped when Rachel walked in. She smiled and went to sit down, noting how awkward all of this was.<p>

"Is this the new guy, Rachel?" Mercedes asked.

"Um, yes," Rachel said. Before James could sit down beside her, Puck, Mike and Artie came up and introduced themselves.

Luckily Mr. Shuester walked in and asked them to take their seats. He stopped when he saw James. James smiled.

"May I have the floor?" he asked. Mr. Shuester nodded and sat down on a stool. James walked up and faced the Glee club.

"Um, hi. My name is James Richards and I'd like to be in glee club, if you'd let me," James said, smiling slightly as he looked at everybody's faces.

"We'd love to have you James. Would you like to sing to show us what you've got?" Mr. Shue said. James nodded. He went over to the band and talked to every member and told them to bring in the trumpets. He took off his jacket, revealing a tight white t-shirt. Britney whistled, then was silenced by a glance from Artie. He grabbed an electric guitar and handed it to Rachel who jumped up and got by the band. This got confused looks from the club. He grabbed an acoustic guitar.

"Wait. James what are we-" Rachel began. He whispered in her ear and the club all were surprised when she blushed. Kurt shook his head.

The band began. Rachel joined in and the glee club was in awe of how good she was. Then James started on his guitar and they were very impressed. James seemed to completely come out of his shell when he performed.

**The thing I like about you  
>The way you do what you do<br>The thing I like about you  
>God and the devil alone could not have made you up<strong>

James radiated energy, even not moving. He then moved and sang beside Rachel, to her.

**Two must have worked as one together  
>So good just want to eat you up<br>Let me like the real thing  
>Lick your sticky fingers boy and sing for your dinner sing<strong>

**Come on pretty babe make me lose my mind**  
><strong>Everybody get together gonna make love shine<strong>

**Do you know what it is to feel the light of love inside you?**  
><strong>And all the darkness falls away<strong>  
><strong>If you feel the way I feel then believe we have the answer<strong>  
><strong>I've been searching for tonight<strong>

He circled her.

**Love me baby love me baby shake me like a monkey  
>forever I'm yours, yours, yours, yours<strong>

**I can't stop thinking about you**  
><strong>yeah yeah yeah<strong>  
><strong>why would I want to<strong>  
><strong>I like coffee with toast and jelly<strong>

He stopped playing for a moment and ran his hand down her stomach. She barely managed to keep her eyes from rolling back in her head.

**But I'd rather be licking from your back to your belly  
><strong>

He grimaced and spun around back to back with Rachel then going back to the center.

**I think I'm going to**

**Do you know what it is to feel the light of love inside you?**  
><strong>And all the darkness falls away<strong>  
><strong>If you feel the way I feel then believe we have the answer<strong>  
><strong>I've been searching for tonight<strong>  
><strong>Love me baby love me baby shake me like a monkey<strong>  
><strong>forever I'm yours<strong>

He went up and walked between the rows of chairs, still playing guitar

**Cigarettes and coffee broken heart and being lonely little girls  
>And ponies are the things that go together<br>Yes and no you have to choose Romeo and Juliet the hang man and his noose  
>You and me would go together<strong>

He made it back up front and center. He then jumped forward, slidding on his knees.

**Kiss Kiss make a wish  
>Hope that it comes true<br>But I ain't waiting for the world to change  
>Gonna change the world for you <strong>

He got back and went to Rachel he and her pressed back to back, both continuing their playing.

**Come on pretty baby make you lose your mind**  
><strong>everybody get together gonna make love shine<strong>

**Do you know what it is to feel the light of love inside you?**  
><strong>And all the darkness falls away<strong>  
><strong>If you feel the way I feel then believe we have the answer<strong>  
><strong>I've been searching for tonight<strong>  
><strong>Love me baby love me baby shake me like a monkey<strong>  
><strong>forever I'm yours<strong>

**Come on everybody make me lose my mind**  
><strong>Everybody get together gonna make love shine<strong>

He finished and the glee club immediately started cheering. He looked at Rachel and she walked over and, standing on her tip-toes, kissed his cheek. She whispered, "That was hot."

"James that what amazing!" Mr. Shuester said smiling and clapping James on the back, "Welcome to glee club."

James turned to Rachel and she threw her arms around his neck.

* * *

><p><strong>Hahaha this was a very fluffy chapter. <strong>

**Tell me if you liked it? If not… well, tell me what I'm doing wrong… nicely.**

**Btw I don't own Glee or the songs used**

**REVIEW!**


	5. Pretty the World

Pretty the World

Neither James nor Rachel realized what was coming. The student body had noticed a change in their resident loser, Rachel Berry. She wasn't annoying. She dressed differently. She seemed to always be wearing something comfy and that was thrown on last minute as if she had better things to do than worry about what she wore. She always seemed happy and as if she was glowing. They knew it was because of her boyfriend, James. Girls all over the school couldn't help but like him. The guys hated him for this. They wanted things to go back the way they were.

* * *

><p>Rachel turned the corner and heard the slap. She ran and saw James dripping in slushie. She set down her bag.<p>

"Azimio, you really are an asshole," She said loudly, shaking her head at his retreating figure. He turned.

"Shut your mouth, Berry," he said. She smiled and shook her head. The whole hallway was silent. She pushed James in the direction of the bathroom, whispering that she'd join him in a second.

"Alright. I am Rachel Berry. Shutting my mouth? Never going to happen. Now you need to realize just how much of a douchebag you are. James has a future ahead of him. He's amazing and you and the rest of the guys see this. You're just mad that he's going places and you're going to be a Lima loser. Sitting here, pumping gas, busing tables, take your pick. James is a hundred times the man that any of you cowards are. You need to stop being jealous of others and work on yourself. That's the only way you're going to get out of here," Rachel said, voice wavering with emotion. She walked up to Azimio.

"You are **never **going to hurt him again," she said quietly, but forcibly, glaring at him. Azimio's eyes widened at her fierceness.

Rachel slowly backed off and went into the bathroom. She saw James leaning against the sink. She ran to him when she saw he had tears on his cheeks. She sat him down and leaned his head back in the sink and washed his head off.

"What's wrong?" She asked, taking his shirt from him and began scrubbing it expertly in the sink.

"Why?" he asked simply, looking at her with sad eyes. She smiled and kissed his forehead.

"Because, they're jealous of the fact that you know what you want and know how to get out of here. You're better than all of them. That makes them mad at themselves, and they can't take that. So they take it out on you," she said, sitting down on his lap. She stroked his cheek.

He chuckled, "Only you would find a way to turn a slushie facial into a compliment." Rachel smiled. She had to smile. When he smiled, she was happy.

"They can't hurt you if you don't let them," she whispered. He nodded. She gave him a gentle and sweet kiss. He pulled back, looking much happier. She stood up and held him out a hand.

The two walked hand and hand out into the still buzzing hallway. Students parted for them. Rachel had crossed a line by talking to Azimio. Nobody had ever stood up to the jocks before as she had. Rachel let a smile spread on her face. She was here for James, no matter what.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into James' new house. It was about a fifteen minute walk away from hers which suited her just fine.<p>

"It's only been three days since your mom got here and you are already done unpacking?" Rachel asked, still looking around at their beautiful house.

"Mom hates looking unsettled. She had some movers come over and she directed all of them.

"Well, I love your house," Rachel said. It was big but it retained that cozy feeling of home.

"Wanna see my room?" James asked. Rachel looked at him and raised her eyebrows. He laughed.

"Not for that. I wanna show you something," he said, grabbing her hand and leading her upstairs. They went in his room.

"Oh my goodness. This is awesome!" Rachel said. The room was airy and open. It had a wood floor. He had five guitars lined up against the far wall. That wasn't the best part. There was a baby grand piano.

"How did they get that in up here?" Rachel asked. He laughed at her confused face.

"They assembled it in here," he said. She turned.

"You play drums?" she asked.

"I'm learning. Not the best, but I'm getting better," He said. She smiled, walked over and lay down on his bed. She liked his dark blue sheets. She sat up.

"Will you sing for me?" she asked. He nodded. He put a CD in the stereo. Then he walked over to the drums. As it started he looked at her, not letting go of her eyes. He began to sing and play. Rachel wasn't surprised that he was good.

**They tied off your arms  
>With all their pretty charms<br>And the same bad lines  
>That always get you<strong>

**Always get you  
>And you hate the way<br>They wash you down  
>And summer hums heavy now...<br>Still you bolded all your best words  
>So they'd have something to wrap<br>Their mouths around.**

He closed his eyes. Rachel couldn't take her eyes off of him. She stood up and began dancing in front of him, just flowing and letting her body move.

**Show me how pretty the world is.  
>Cause I envy the way that you move<br>Show me how pretty the world is..  
>Cause I want something just a little bit louder<strong>

James watched her dance with a smile

**All spun awake  
>Twisted in your heat...<br>You're always burning up so bright  
>When there's someone there by your side.<br>Well just take me home  
>Cause I'm a mess enough clean<br>And I'll lie  
>Until I believe<br>**

**Show me how pretty the world is.  
>Cause I envy the way that you move<br>Show me how pretty the world is...cause I  
>Want something just a little bit louder<br>Show me how pretty the world is  
>Cause you're brilliant when you try<br>Show me how pretty the whole world is tonight**

He looked down and furrowed his brow as if thinking aloud to himself. Rachel stopped and watched him.

**I never thought that I could be who I am  
>I never thought that I could see where I was<br>I never thought all this was, was in me**

**I always thought that all this was, could never be**

He looked up and looked deeply in Rachel's eyes

**I never thought that I could be who I am**

**I never thought I could see where I was**

**I never thought all this was, was in me, was in me now**

**Show me how pretty the world is.  
>Cause I envy the way that you move<br>Show me how pretty the world is...cause I  
>Want something just a little bit louder<br>Show me how pretty the world is  
>Cause you're brilliant when you try<br>Show me how pretty the whole world is tonight  
>Show me how pretty the whole world is<strong>

**Show me how pretty the whole world is**

**Show me how pretty the whole world is tonight**

He put down the drumsticks and stood up. Rachel ran up and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'll always be here for you," she whispered next to his ear. He smiled and kissed her cheek.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Rachel was sitting at the dinner table when James asked to be excused to lie down. He said that he had a headache. He walked off and Rachel looked after him worriedly.<p>

"Rachel?" Kate asked, as she'd asked Rachel to call her.

"Yes?"

"How is school going for James? He usually gets these headaches when he's under a lot of stress."

"At McKinley, bullying is present a lot. I've had… problems ever since freshman year. I guess being with me isn't best for his reputation. He was slushied this morning," Rachel said sadly, looking down into her lap.

"Slushied?"

"Kids buy Big Gulps at the convenience store. They take them and throw them in the kids they deem "losers". They're called slushie facials."

"I will not stand for behavior like that. Have you spoken with your principal?" she asked Rachel.

"Yes. He didn't do anything."

"I am contacting the school board. I will not allow you, my son, or anybody to be treated like that," Kate said. She got up, and pulled out her cell phone and walked out into her home office. Rachel sat back and slumped down in her seat.

She remembered when she'd gotten her first slushie. It had been the end of the first week of school…

_*flashback*_

_She turned the corner and saw a small teen boy being shoved against a locker. She looked around and saw no teachers were around. What surprised her was no kids thought this was bad and tried to help the kid. She took a deep breath and steeled her 5'2 self. She walked up and slid between the two._

_"What do you think you're doing, Noah Puckerman?" she said._

_"Putting Jew-Fro in his place. Get out of the way Berry," he said glaring, but also stepping back. _

_"No. This is wrong and you shouldn't do it. The fact that you think you need to do this just shows everybody that you're a coward who picks on others so that his friends don't look at him and see the scared little boy that he is. Back off Noah. Go do something that isn't a waste of your life," Rachel said, returning Puck's glare. His eyes widened then narrowed angrily. He left with his friends. This started Jacob Ben Israel's weird obsession with her. She hurried away from him and carried on with her day._

_The final bell rang and Rachel left her class. She had just opened her locker and she heard a voice behind her._

_"Nobody talks to me like that, Berry." She turned and saw Noah Puckerman. She was surrounded by at least seven jocks, all holding Big Gulps. Her eyes widened. _

_It was terrible. It hit her with a slap. It seeped into her clothes and hair and dripped down onto the floor. She wouldn't let herself cry. Not in front of them. That's what they wanted._

_"Not so cool now, are ya Berry?" Azimio sneered at her. _

_"Now she knows to remember her place," Puck said. _

_Quinn walked by and laughed. _

_"Look Manhands got what she had coming!" Rachel gritted her teeth. She shouldered her way out of the jocks. Just as she put her hand on the bathroom door, she turned and locked eyes with Noah. She saw that he was embarrassed still from her comment. She looked at him sadly and walked in and proceeded to cry her eyes out._

_*End Flashback*_

Rachel felt a tear fall down her cheek. She took a deep breath and wiped it away. She got up and walked up to James' room. She saw that he'd fallen asleep. She climbed in next to him. She snuggled up to his warm body and let out a shaky breath. Eventually she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>This was a hard chapter to write. I'm not really sure about it. Tell me whatcha think! <strong>

**Song:**

**Pretty the World by Matt Nathanson **


	6. Beautiful Day

Beautiful Day

Rachel's main concern became James. She was always attuned to him and his moods. She sang softly to him anytime he was under the weather and he seemed to visibly brighten when she sang. Any guy who even looked like they wanted to give James a hard time would receive a death glare from Rachel. Everybody noticed how wrapped up the two were. They often were watched by other kids. Sometimes they didn't speak. Because they didn't need to. At times they seemed like they could read each others minds.

The Glee club members were shocked at the change in their resident diva. She was still wildly passionate about music. But she didn't argue about not getting solos anymore. In fact, she would often offer to work with whoever got solos. When she did perform, they could see that now she was performing more for herself. She wasn't performing for the attention. She became so wrapped up in her performance that it made it seem that much more special to see her perform; as if you were seeing something very private.

* * *

><p>Ms. Richards hadn't been lying when she had said she would go to the school board. They had stopped selling shushies at the convenience store. It was a detention if you were seen with one at the school. The jocks were still shocked at the recent events.<p>

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into her Spanish class towards the end of the day. She was physically and emotionally drained.<p>

* * *

><p>The previous night she'd been over at James house. They'd been watching TV and Rachel had looked over at James. He was staring at his hands in his lap. His eyes had a faintly dead look in them. She wished his mother was here, but she was at a conference in Cincinnati for the week.<p>

"James?" she asked gently, putting her hand on his shoulder, "Are you alright?" He looked up at her. She looked into his eyes and was shocked at the pain that was suddenly unveiled there. His hands began to shake. She turned off the TV. She knelt in front of him on the couch, taking his hands in her own.

"James. Talk to me," she said in a more forceful voice. He let out a big breath as if he'd had tons of pent up anger.

"I'm sick of it!" he said all of the sudden, jumping up. Rachel fell back and quickly stood up.

"Shhhh, shh. Sit down James," she said gently, pushing him down onto the couch. He wouldn't sit. She gave up.

"What are you sick of?" she said, thinking maybe he wanted to vent.

"I'm sick of the fact that life is pointless for me. I feel numb. All the time. I try to find meaning and I see it sometimes with you but…," he said loudly. He sat down on the couch rubbing his temples and breathing hard. Rachel sat down next to him gingerly, glad he couldn't see the tears falling from her eyes. When he'd knocked her back she'd fallen hard on her back. Also, he'd never yelled in her face like that before.

She stood up and grabbed James hand. She pulled as hard as she could. He followed limply. She took him to his room. He stood there numbly as she dropped his hand. She yanked off his shirt and pushed him into his bed. She covered him up.

Rachel still hadn't shown him her face. She walked over and turned out the lights. She turned and looked back at James in his bed. His quick breathing had begun to slow.

"Rachel?" he said after a second.

"Goodnight James," she said. She walked over and gently kissed him. She pulled back.

"I love you," she whispered and slowly walked out of the room.

"Rachel," James said, from his doorframe. She turned from the top of the stairs to face him. He took in the tears that were freely falling from her eyes. The way she was breathing shallowly and quickly. He looked down, horror dawning in his eyes at what he'd done.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking back up at her, with tears in his eyes.

"I know," she sighed. She slowly walked toward him. She kissed his cheek and pulled back.

She led him in his room and put him back into bed. She lay down next to him, holding his hand. She sang a few lines of Falling Slowly. She stopped when he was asleep. She got up and walked out to her car after locking up the house. She drove home.

* * *

><p>She walked in her house. Her dads were already asleep. Fresh tears fell from her eyes. She felt so helpless. She wanted to be there for James, but she didn't know how. She went into her room, and brushed her teeth. She pulled her clothes off and slipped on James' huge sweatshirt that smelled like him. She crawled into bed. She couldn't fall asleep. She stayed awake most of the night, not able to shake the look of pain on James' face. His words about how he felt numb and that he had no meaning. At about four in the morning she fell into a fitful sleep that she came in and out of.<p>

She'd finally got up at six thirty, tired of not sleeping. She got in the shower and got ready. She let her hair air dry and then braided it down her back. She put on dark blue skinny jeans and a dark green long sleeve shirt. Both hugged her in all the right places. She pushed up the sleeves. She slipped on her gray Uggs and went downstairs. She grabbed a banana and ran out the door. She got in her car and went to pick up Kurt. His car was in the shop so she'd said she'd give him rides. He looked at the circles under her eyes, checked his watch and said, "Lima Bean." Rachel smiled tiredly and nodded.

* * *

><p>Kurt walked into school with Rachel. He could sense that his friend didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering her. He changed the subject and talked about Sectionals. Rachel visibly brightened and they talked. They walked into Glee, which they had first hour today. As the band started setting up, Rachel went and talked to both Mr. Shuester and the band. Five minutes before the bell rang, James walked in, hands in pockets. He looked worse than Rachel. Rachel stood up as soon as he walked in. They both just looked at each other. Rachel glanced at Mr. Shuester and he nodded. She motioned for James to sit down and he did. Rachel looked at him then said,<p>

"James, last night was… hard. You need to get it through to that amazing brain of yours that you're in a good place filled with amazing things and people. They're all around you. Life is so important and once a moment's gone it's gone forever." She nodded to the band and they began. She walked forward and stood right in front of James and began to sing to him.

**The heart is a bloom, shoots up through stony ground  
>But there's no room, no space to rent in this town<br>You're out of luck and the reason that you had to care,  
>The traffic is stuck and you're not moving anywhere.<br>You thought you'd found a friend to take you out of this place  
>Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace<strong>

She smiled for a second and took his hand. She began to dance with him.

**It's a beautiful day, the sky falls  
>And you feel like it's a beautiful day<br>It's a beautiful day  
>Don't let it get away<strong>

She stopped and looked in his eyes and sang straight to him.

**You're on the road but you've got no destination  
>You're in the mud, in the maze of her imagination<br>You love this town even if it doesn't ring true  
>You've been all over and it's been all over you<strong>

She began dancing with him again and the rest of the club got up to join in.

**It's a beautiful day  
>Don't let it get away<br>It's a beautiful day  
>Don't let it get away<strong>

James put his arms around Rachel's waist and she hugged herself to him. They touched their foreheads together. She looked deep in his eyes.

**Touch me, take me to that other place  
>Teach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case<strong>

James and Rachel didn't break eye contact as Rachel sang to him gently.**  
><strong>

**See the world in green and blue  
>See China right in front of you<br>See the canyons broken by cloud  
>See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out<br>See the bedouin fires at night  
>See the oil fields at first light<br>See the bird with a leaf in her mouth  
>After the flood all the colours came out<br>It was a beautiful day  
>A beautiful day<br>Don't let it get away**

Rachel and James began to dance around with the rest of the club once more.**  
><strong>

**Touch me, take me to that**** other place  
>Reach me, I know I' m not a hopeless case<strong>

**What you don't have you don't need it now**  
><strong>What you don't know you can feel it somehow<strong>  
><strong>What you don't have you don't need it now<strong>  
><strong>You don't need it now, you don't need it now<strong>  
><strong>Beautiful day<strong>

Rachel sang the last note and the whole club burst into cheers. She smiled at James.

"You okay?" she mouthed. He nodded after a moment. She hugged him as hard as she could.

* * *

><p>And that brought her back to the present. She'd been glad that she could make James happy this morning. He needed all the happiness he could get. She turned in her homework and walked to her seat in the back and texted Kurt and Mercedes happily. She masked a yawn and tried to tune into the video that Mr. Shuester had just put in. It was very difficult. She yawned again. She was seriously considering trying Puck's strategy of going to the nurse with a<br>"headache" when the final bell rang. She sighed in relief.

"Rachel?" Mr. Shuester said on her way out. She masked her annoyance with a bright smile. She wanted to A) go home and sleep or B) get caffeine. "Yeah, Mr. Shue?" she said.

"I just wanted to say that your song to James was awesome. Also your voices go together very well and I was wondering if you two would want to be our duet pair for Sectionals?" he said hopefully. Rachel smiled.

"I would love to Mr. Shuester. I'll brainstorm some ideas with James," she said. Mr. Shuester nodded and turned to his desk. Rachel walked to her locker and threw her books in her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She felt arms go around her waist and smiled.

"Hey," she said, turning, but still staying in his arms. She gave him a gentle peck and leaned back. He was slightly smiling and looked perfectly calm.

"All right you two," Kurt said walking up, flanked by Mercedes, Santana, and Britney.

"What's up, Kurt?" Rachel asked as James grabbed her hand.

"Weeeelllll, I wanted to invite you, Rachel, to my sleepover tonight. I also wanted to invite James to Finn's sleepover tonight," Kurt said. Rachel smiled. She looked at James who nodded. She raised her eyebrows and he laughed.

"Sure we'll be there," James said. Mercedes looked between the two.

"Your telepathic conversations are creepy," she said and walked off.

"Mercedes is right," Santana said with a small smile. She obviously was digging the new and improved Rachel. The three walked off.

"This isn't healthy. I probably got like an hour and a half of good sleep last night," Rachel said, shaking her head as she walked to her car with James. She was giving him a ride since he'd gotten a ride from Puck that morning. She stopped at her house and had packed for the night. Then they'd gone to James' house. Rachel had marched straight to his room, put her stuff down, and climbed straight into James' bed. She was asleep in five minutes.

James closed the curtains. He fell back on his bed beside Rachel. He didn't know what he'd do without her anymore. He glanced over and was happy. She was beautiful as always. Rachel's glossy dark hair fell perfectly. She was smiling in her sleep. He got up and put his stuff together for that night. He walked out and saw her blinking sleepily at him with those chocolate brown eyes that could get him to do anything.

"Come here," she said, lifting up her arm, making a space under the blankets next to her. He climbed in next to her after setting his phone's alarm for six thirty and she pulled herself closer to him. He put his arm around her. She was so warm. She smiled and closed her eyes, burying her head in his chest. She was asleep quickly. He stayed awake longer, just enjoying the feeling of being close to Rachel. Soon he drifted off as well.

* * *

><p><strong>AWWWW CUTENESS! I like writing fluffy RachelJames (hmmm, Jachel… Bichard… hehehe). Anyway, I have trouble writing James' depression probs because my friend has had problems with depression and its really hard for me to write that into a character… so don't yell at me if the writing completely sucks...**

**REVIEW. I will be your best friend forever and ever. **


	7. Everybody

**I decided to do a chapter minus James. Healing time for Rachel. **

**I've wanted to tie this in for quite a while. This has some stuff from C.P. Coulter's **_**Dalton**_**. I do not own that at all. I wish I was smart enough to think of that. **

**Song: Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson**

**R&R! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Everybody<p>

Rachel kissed James gently on the cheek. He got in his car with his mom and waved. He was going for a family reunion in Chicago and would be gone for the whole week. Things had been better since that bad night. On several occasions he'd gotten angry, but had reined it in before things got really bad. But Rachel was scared. She didn't know what she'd do if it happened again.

She walked back to her house, having walked over to see James off, hands in her dark skinny jean's pockets, thinking. She took out her phone.

**Rachel: I'm scared Kurt.**

**Kurt: What? Why? Ru in trouble?**

Her phone immediately started ringing. She smiled softly at Kurt's worry.

"Hey," Rachel said.

"Rachel! Why are you scared?"

"Don't worry. I'm not in danger but… it's about James."

"Oh. Um, Rachel I'm really sorry but I can't talk right now. I'm sorry but I'm about to go in with my dad for his checkup at the doctor," Kurt said.

"It's fine. Talk to you later," Rachel said. She sighed and pulled James' oversize Julliard sweatshirt tighter around her shoulders and shivered in the chilly air. She felt really alone. Her dads were on a conference trip in Cincinnati. She got to her house and was surprised when her phone rang again. She looked down and was surprised.

"Blaine?"

"Hey, Rachel. I was just texting with Kurt and he said you were scared about something with James. I guess he redirected you to me," Blaine said with a chuckle, "Anyway what's up?" Rachel paused for a second.

"Well. It's kind of a long story," she said smiling.

"Great! I'm really bored. Come up to Dalton," Blaine said happily; in the background she heard "What? We aren't enough for you?" Rachel thought.

"I guess that's cool. See you in a half hour," she said. Blaine always made her smile. She ran out into her car, glad she had somebody to hang out with.

* * *

><p>Blaine ran down the hall to meet Rachel. She hadn't sounded good on the phone and was worried. He saw her and put a smile on his face.<p>

"Hi," she said with a smile. She retained a tired look.

"Hey," he said cheerily. They walked into the campus café. He ordered their coffee and they sat. She unzipped her Julliard sweatshirt and sat on it. She shoved up the sleeves of her light gray long sleeve shirt with a sigh. They called their coffee order and Rachel got up to go get it. Blaine watched her walk up and narrowed his eyes. She looked thinner, as if she hadn't been eating. When she walked back he saw that she had dark circles under her eyes. He accepted his coffee and she took a big gulp of hers.

"Alright…" she began. She poured her heart out to Blaine telling him everything from the beginning of summer to now. When she finished he reached across the table and grabbed one of her hands. Her hand was freezing cold.

"Your hands are warm," she commented quietly after a moment of silence.

"Rachel?" he said, forcing her to look up at him. She'd been staring into her coffee the whole time she'd been talking.

"Has James done anything else besides that one time?" he asked firmly. She took a deep breath.

"There have been times… where he yells," she said, wincing. She'd always been able to calm him down, but she'd always bottled up the hurt. Blaine's brow furrowed.

"Rachel, I… think this is extremely unhealthy for you. I get that you love him. I know exactly how that feels. I think James needs to get on a better anti-depressant and you need to take care of yourself first before him," he said, looking straight in her eyes. Rachel looked down.

"You're right," she said with a weak smile. He grinned at her.

"I usually am," he said and Rachel's smile grew.

"I have to go the bathroom. Be right back," she said walking off. Blaine sighed and thought. God, that girl had changed. He remembered Kurt's friend from Sectionals, and she had been snappy and confident. He could tell she'd redirected her focus onto James. She needed help. He jumped as two identical people slid onto either side of him.

"You really need to stop doing that," he said looking between Evan and Ethan.

"Sorry," Evan said, not looking sorry at all.

"We are quite curious about **her **though," Ethan said. Wes, Reed and David slid in across from them, putting Rachel's sweatshirt on the table.

"Look guys. It's not my place to tell you. She's going through a rough time and doesn't need you guys stressing her out," Blaine said, looking back and forth between the twins.

"Why on earth would we stress her out? We just wanna help," the twins quickly assured Blaine. He sighed.

Rachel had come out. She seemed to recognize a parent who was in the corner reading a newspaper with a freshman from Hanover house. She went and talked to the parent. She still looked tired but she put on a smile.

"Hey, that's the girl that is lead for New Directions," Wes said after a moment.

"She looks bad," David said, not one to sugarcoat things.

"Was she always so tiny?" Reed asked. Blaine looked with them, once again seeing how much help she needed.

"Blaine, we have and idea!" the twins said together. He looked between the two skeptically. They whispered in his ear.

"Not bad," he said nodding.

"What?" Wes and David said together. Blaine smiled.

"They think we should take her back to Warbler hall and just jam out with her for a while. It's not a bad idea. Singing is more natural than breathing for Rachel," Blaine said. All of the boys nodded. Rachel said goodbye to the mother and son and glanced over. Her eyes widened at all of the boys at the table. She walked over cautiously.

"Hi," she said, after a moment. The twins smiled. Blaine rolled his eyes and asked Rachel if she wanted to come and sing with them for a bit. She smiled and this time it reached her eyes and nodded.

The twins jumped up and each grabbed a hand and started off with her, the rest of the boys following.

As they walked, Rachel felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

**James: ru good?**

**Rachel: Yep. At Dalton, with Blaine**

**James: Cool, ill cu on Saturday, alrite?**

Rachel sighed and replied.

**Rachel: cant wait. Love u 3 **

**James: Luv u 2! **

She slid her phone back in her pocket and her hands were reclaimed by the twins. She looked over her shoulder. Blaine's eyebrow was raised questioningly. She nodded with a small smile.

* * *

><p>About two hours later, Rachel was laughing hard and had flushed cheeks. They had been singing and goofing off for a while. When Rachel sang, she seemed to forget all of the bad stuff. As they had been singing, other Warblers had been trickling in, joining in on the songs.<p>

She picked up an acoustic guitar from the corner and put the strap around her hoping she could play on the guitar because it was bigger than her own. She sat on the couch and began to strum. Then she started to sing.

**We have fallen down again tonight  
>In this world it's hard to get it right<br>Try to make your heart feel like a glove  
>What it needs is love, love, love<strong>

The Warblers joined in, harmonizing and adding a beat. Blaine grabbed his guitar and played together with Rachel.

**Everybody, everybody wants to love  
>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved<br>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh**

**Everybody, everybody wants to love**  
><strong>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved<strong>  
><strong>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh<strong>

Rachel and Blaine sang the next verse together, harmonizing.

**Happy is the heart that still feels pain  
>Darkness drains and light will come again<br>Swing open up your chest and let it in  
>Just let the love, love, love begin<strong>

The Warblers got up and started dancing.

**Everybody, everybody wants to love  
>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved<br>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh**

**Everybody, everybody wants to love**  
><strong>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved<strong>  
><strong>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh<strong>

**oh everybody knows the love**  
><strong>Everybody holds the love<strong>  
><strong>Everybody falls for love<strong>

**Everybody feels the love**  
><strong>Everybody steals the love,<strong>  
><strong>everybody heals with love<strong>  
><strong>Oh, oh, oh, oh, just let the love, love, love begin<strong>

They stopped playing and just clapped. A Warbler took Rachel's guitar and started playing. She and Reed started waltzing around the room.

**Everybody, everybody wants to love  
>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved<br>Oh, oh, oh, Just let the love, love, love begin**

**Everybody, everybody wants to love**  
><strong>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved<strong>  
><strong>Oh, oh, oh, Just let the love, love, love begin<strong>

**Everybody, everybody wants to love**  
><strong>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved<strong>  
><strong>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh<strong>

**Everybody feels to love**  
><strong>Everybody steals to be loved<strong>  
><strong>Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh<strong>

Rachel couldn't help the huge smile on her face.

**Everybody, everybody wants to love (oh everybody)  
>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved (oh everybody)<br>Oh, oh, oh, (oh everybody) oh, oh, oh (oh everybody) oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh.  
>Everybody, everybody wants to love (oh everybody)<br>Everybody, everybody wants to be loved (oh everybody)  
>Oh, oh, oh, (oh everybody) oh, oh, oh (oh everybody) oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh.<strong>

Rachel and all of the boys clapped at the end. The twins both hugged her. Blaine gave her a smile.

* * *

><p>Rachel fell into bed later that night. She felt good. When she'd gotten home she'd eaten and then proceeded to video chat James. He looked good. She guessed that seeing his family made him happy. Then he told her, that by the power of video on phones, he'd seen her Everybody performance. Blaine had sent it to him and he loved it. She fell asleep after signing off. She slept well that night.<p>

* * *

><p>After Rachel had left, Blaine had called Kurt and filled him in on Rachel. After processing the new information, Kurt said that once James got back, they both should talk to him. Blaine agreed. He knew that James loved Rachel. He just needed help finding a way to take some of that weight off of her.<p>

* * *

><p>Rachel opened her eyes to sunlight coming into her room. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her dad's had agreed and she'd redone her room. Now the color scheme was rich reds with some pretty browns and bright golds. She loved it. She slipped on her sweatshirt and made her way down the stairs. She turned up the thermostat on the way down. Already the middle of October, it was getting very cold out.<p>

Rachel stopped when she heard the sound of somebody humming in the kitchen. No. It couldn't be.

She ran to the kitchen and straight into the arms of her mother. Shelby kissed the top of her daughters head. Rachel had given Shelby a spare key for the house.

"Surprise!" Shelby said as Rachel backed out of the hug. Rachel had told her that she could come to Lima and stay with her whenever she wanted and being on vacation from work, Shelby had come to take her up on her offer.

"It's great to see you!" Rachel said with as much energy as she could muster having just woken up. She walked over to Beth, who was sitting in Rachel's old high chair and kissed her nose. Then she turned back to Shelby. She let out a huge yawn. Shelby smiled knowingly and placed coffee in front of Rachel, who inhaled it despite how hot it was.

The two talked for a while. Shelby took in how Rachel had changed. It wasn't a big change, but to a mother, it was more than noticeable. She made pancakes for Rachel, encouraging her to have more.

After breakfast, Shelby told Rachel that she wanted to spend the day with Rachel shopping. Rachel agreed and ran up to take a shower. Shelby got Beth dressed. Rachel came down and the two left.

The three girls had lots of fun that day. At lunch at Breadstix Rachel told Shelby about her and James. Shelby nodded and was of the same opinion as Blaine. She was going to talk to Mrs. Richards, as the two were good friends. Then she had to clean up Beth who had her Mac and Cheese all over her face.

Rachel realized it felt good to talk about this. She loved James. But it was good to know that things might get better for them. The rest of the afternoon was spent doing more shopping. Shelby and Rachel had a lot of fun finding adorable things for Beth, who was an absolute trooper for a two year old, through all of the outfits Shelby and Rachel put her in.


	8. Seven Days Without You

**So glad to come back to this story! I do love it… I felt the last chapter was enough angst for a while, so this is a happy chappy. **

**Song: Seven Days Without You by Teddy Geiger **

**READ AND REVIEW!**

* * *

><p>Seven Days Without You<p>

That whole week without James was both good and bad for Rachel. She missed him so bad and her fellow glee clubbers could tell. She would sit in the corner of the room quietly, with one ear bud in. She would talk if spoken to, but otherwise seemed as if she was in another world. Kurt and the glee girls all took their turn of cleaning off Rachel from slushie facials.

Rachel, though she missed James greatly, and with her friends and Shelby's help realized that she needed to not focus completely on James and his feelings.

Three days after she came, Shelby had to go back to New York. Rachel and Shelby both cried at the goodbye at the airport. Rachel had scooped up Beth and gave her lots of little kisses on her cheek. She'd miss the two terribly.

* * *

><p>Rachel shut her car off and unhooked her seatbelt. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, stepping out of the car.<p>

She was nervous and excited. James trip had been delayed by a day and a half and he hadn't been able to see her the night previously as he'd gotten in town at two in the morning and his mother had said it was too late. She was going to see him this morning in Glee and she couldn't be happier.

She wore an old looking white concert tee for a band that was from the eighty's. She wore her favorite pair of black skinny pants that fit her perfectly. She'd tucked her pants into her dark purple Doc Marten boots that Kurt had talked her into getting, saying that they were a "must".

The first few classes of the day went painfully slow. She didn't have any morning classes with James. The end of second period bell rang. Rachel was halfway out of the room when the teacher called her up. Rachel was good friends with Mrs. Hart, and the two talked often after class. Rachel politely answered questions and talked with Mrs. Hart, trying to wrap things up. Mrs. Hart loved to talk. Rachel said goodbye when it was appropriate and ran out.

Much to her happiness, she managed to avoid a slushie. She'd grinned cheekily at Azimio and had rushed off, leaving behind the angry words that came from the unlucky jock that had been straight behind her for the avoided slushie. Rachel's locker was the farthest away from the glee room so by the time she got to Glee, everybody was there. She all but ran into the room. She stopped, slightly out of breath. James was talking with Artie and Puck, facing away from the door. When both Puck and Artie looked at her, James turned. A smile spread across his face. He took a couple steps toward Rachel, as she took steps to him. She threw her arms around his neck, going on her toes. His arms went around her waist.

"I missed you," he whispered in her ear.

The glee clubbers all watched with similar reactions. Even Finn, who had been a bit standoffish of both Rachel and James, and Santana had been worrying about Rachel that week and the happiness that she was exuding soothed the clubs worries. It was hard not to smile at the adorableness. The two moved to the corner and sat down. Rachel wasn't letting go of James' hand anytime soon, loving the familiar feel of his large, guitar-calloused hand in her smaller one. They were talking quietly; in their own little world.

Mr. Shuester walked in and saw that James was back. He was also happy to see Rachel, who hadn't looked that happy in a while.

"All right, guys," he said, and waited for attention to turn to him, "Sectionals is soon. This year we aren't facing Dalton or Vocal Adrenaline in our group, but that doesn't mean its going to be any less hard. This year we're going to have a voting system for who has leads. Now this club is about teamwork. You're going to vote as if it's a given that you are simply a chorus member. You cannot vote for yourself. Use the combination that you think would get us the win, minus you," Mr. Shuester said, placing two hats on the piano.

"I'm voting for Britney," Britney said. Santana whispered in Britney's ear.

"Oh," Britney said, still smiling. Mr. Shuester looked at Britney for a second, and then moved on.

"I need you to vote for the two that you want to duet together in this hat," Mr. Shue said, pointing, "and in this other hat, I want you to vote for who you want to get verses and or certain solos in the group number. Also start brainstorming song ideas. I think since we've used original songs twice, we should use regular songs this time."

He looked at the faces of the club.

"That good?" He was answered with nods and words of assent.

"Alright, use today to brainstorm and think about your votes. I have paperwork to do for Sectionals," Mr. Shuester said, and he walked into his office, knowing that this was their year.

Rachel watched Mr. Shue walk out. This would be interesting. She couldn't vote for herself at all. The club all came together sitting in a broken and messy circle and talked about songs. Most were working on their votes in notebooks. Puck was playing paper football with Mike. Finn looked like he was thinking so hard it was physically painful, sitting at the drums and absentmindedly playing. Rachel scribbled down the vote for the duet on a post-it, which was an easy decision. She chose Tina, who had a great voice, and Finn, who was a great at duets. She dropped her vote in and went back to her seat.

Rachel went and sat down by James and took out her notebook and the two thought about the group number. She had an idea and told James, who nodded vigorously. They were watched by some, who were impressed at how the two basically read each others minds. Every couple of seconds, like clockwork, one would come up with an idea and then the other would build on it.

Rachel and James both eventually turned in their post-its. They'd both written down Britney, Artie, and Puck. It would be so awesome if they could lead for the song Party Rock Anthem. Artie, over the summer, had worked as a DJ, and had loved it. If they could get some him equipment and share the rap with Puck, while Britney and Mike danced, it could be something great. Santana and Quinn could sing Lauren Bennet's part together. Last year, Mike and Britney had probably scored them extra points with their dancing. She turned and saw Artie looking over her shoulder, a big smile on his face as he read through her notes. He asked for it, she handed it to him and he showed it to Mike, who showed it to Britney, who had been so excited and had told Santana. By this time the club had all been curious. They all agreed that it would be a great way to finish their set and get the crowd pumped up and excited.

* * *

><p>Mr. Shuester came out towards the end of the hour and found Britney and Mike already working on choreography. Rachel was at the piano walking Quinn and Santana through their part which was pure harmony. Artie was showing James and Puck how he used his laptop to DJ. After a second, his kids all looked up.<p>

"I'm guessing you came up with an idea?" Mr. Shuester said, smiling.

"Actually, Rachel and James came up with a good idea," Artie said, handing Rachel's notebook to Mr. Shue. By now Rachel had completely covered the page with notes.

"That's great guys, keep it up. Don't forget about the voting for duet," Mr. Shuester said as the bell rang. Rachel and James walked to the corner to get their stuff. They were that last ones out.

"Rachel, James," Mr. Shuester called. They both turned.

"Good job today," he said with a smile. They both returned his smile and hurried off to lunch.

* * *

><p>Rachel and James went to the auditorium to eat on the stage. They often did this, just to be alone.<p>

"Rach?" James asked. They were both sitting Indian style, facing each other.

"Yes?" Rachel said, turning and looking into James' bright turquoise eyes.

"Over the week, I got a call from both Kurt and Blaine. They talked to me about my behavior towards you," James said slowly, but firmly. Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but James shook his head. Rachel took his hand and held it in hers in her lap.

"One of the reasons we were in Chicago longer than planned is because my mom, after having heard from Shelby, decided I needed to go see a different therapist. I went to Mrs. Schmidt, who's an old friend of my mothers. It was a hard and long session. But she said that as long as I'm in control, being around you is good for me," James said. He stopped and took a deep breath.

"She put me on a new medicine and its working really well so far. If I ever do anything, anything at all, that hurts you. I want you to get away from me, okay? If I hurt you, I don't think I could ever forgive myself," James said. He stopped, having nothing else to say.

Rachel was taken aback. That was the most she'd ever heard James say at once ever. He was looking at her intently waiting for a response. She looked down at her hands. She remembered when they'd been on that bench in Central Park and she'd held his hand just like this. She inwardly smiled at the déjà-vu.

"James. Remember, when you told me about your depression? I said that you inspire me. I told you that you don't let anything get in the way of what you want. That's still true. You're fighting this," Rachel said, smiling at him. He smiled back. She got up on her knees, leaned forward and pressed her lips to James' softly. She leaned back and smiled at him. She stood up and offered him a hand up. He took it. Without breaking eye contact with James, Rachel called over her shoulder.

"Kurt!" James looked over Rachel's head and saw Kurt standing their with a grin on his face. He hit a button on the stereo. Kurt waved and walked off, smiling and texting Blaine.

Music started and Rachel grabbed both of James hands, looking in James' eyes. She began to sing.

**Sitting here counting the hours  
>Waiting for the sun to kiss the sea<br>Paralyzed by the fragrance of the flowers  
>They remind me of you and me<br>**

She dropped James' hands and took step back, singing with all she had, never breaking eye contact.

**There's one love in a lifetime  
>Our two hearts of a kind<br>These three reasons you'll be mine  
>For when five and six are through<br>Seven days without you, Seven days without you.**

Rachel walked around James and his eyes following her. Her head was down, remembering the long week she'd had.

**Making plans just to stop the aching  
>Chasing thoughts from a million miles away<br>Hypnotized as another dawn is breaking  
>I rehearse the words I want to say<br>**

James pulled her close and she kept singing. **  
><strong>

**There's one love in a lifetime  
>Our two hearts of a kind<br>These three reasons you'll be mine  
>For when five and six are through<br>Seven days without you, Seven days without you**

**Well I will find a way into your heart**  
><strong>So let me try and sleep before we know<strong>

**There's one love in a lifetime**  
><strong>Our two hearts of a kind<strong>  
><strong>These three reasons you'll be mine<strong>  
><strong>For when five and six are through<strong>  
><strong>Seven days without you, Seven days without you<strong>

James leaned down and kissed Rachel. Rachel smiled throughout the kiss. She was so glad James was home.


	9. Fully Committed

Fully Committed

A week following James' return, Kurt and Blaine walked up to James' drive after school. James had invited Kurt to come by after school to work on homework with him and Rachel, and Blaine had asked to tag along.

Kurt was insanely proud of James. He was as fully committed to Rachel as she was to him now, maybe even more so. Kurt's theory was that the more that James concentrated on Rachel, the easier it was for him.

The school was slowly excepting Rachel. She still received slushies from reluctant-to-change jocks, but those jocks were promptly yelled at and punched by James, who was great at making his point, but also not getting in trouble for revenge.

The rules that had been set regarding slushies had been slackened. The adults had figured everything had blown over. Kate had been furious but had been unable to do anything. However, James' "street cred" had improved when he tried out for basketball and had been very good. He'd played on varsity as a sophomore at his old school and was quickly added to McKinley's team.

Rachel and James were rarely referred to separately, except when people talked about basketball. It was Rachel and James, said all at once. Rachel was starting to make more friends. James brought out the best in her.

* * *

><p>Kurt rang the doorbell and it was opened by calm, smiling James. He invited them in and they stepped inside. Kurt loved the place. Though it was a big house, it felt warm and inviting. The lighting was golden and everything was made up of warm tones. Blaine and Kurt took their shoes and jackets off at the door.<p>

"I guess we'll work in the family room. Rach is in the shower, so she'll be down soon," James said. He led the way to the kitchen, grabbing three sodas from the fridge and a bowl of popcorn from the counter.

As they walked to the family room, Kurt thought he heard singing. He couldn't help but smile when he figured out it was Rachel. She obviously was over here a lot. He'd seen mostly vegan food in the fridge.

Kurt took his books and got on the couch, pulling out his Spanish book to study, tucking his legs under him. Blaine spread out his homework which was for his architecture class. James' dad was an architect and had passed some knowledge on to him so he was helping Blaine with some dimensions. The two were bent over talking. Kurt only understood the "and" and the "the" of their conversation.

Soon a barefoot Rachel came in with her wet hair piled in a bun on her head, wearing a huge blue t-shirt that was long on her with the sleeves rolled way up, obviously James', over black leggings. She smiled at Kurt and quietly joined him on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest. She sat contentedly watching James and Blaine work, both not having heard her come in. After a second of still not being noticed, Rachel stood and pulled Kurt behind her to the kitchen. She busied herself making her vegan hot chocolate that Kurt would, till the day he died, swear was the best in the world. Kurt sat at the island counter in one of the tall chairs.

"I'm so excited for Sectionals," Rachel said happily. She and James had won the duet competition and everybody was currently supposed to be brainstorming ideas for their number. Meanwhile, the Party Rock number was coming along perfectly. Britney, Mercedes and Santana were designing the outfits for Sectionals. Artie was working on the arrangement of the music with help from Finn and Sam. Lauren and Puck had generated quite a bit of support from the rest of the student body (dumpster tosses were suspected), so quite a few students were coming and helping out.

"I think it will be our best yet," Kurt said smiling at Rachel's enthusiasm. Rachel nodded and turned to the stove and added ingredients to a saucepan and turned on the heat, then gave it a stir. Kurt had to put a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing, because while she was doing this, James snuck in and tip-toed in and snuck up behind Rachel. As soon as she put her wooden spoon down. He snaked his arms around Rachel's waist, causing her to jump. She turned and he kissed her temple, smiling at her. She swatted his hand away as he tried to "test" her hot chocolate. Blaine came in and sat next to Kurt. They hung out for a while in the kitchen. Rachel poured the hot chocolate into four big mugs. She turned and saw that James had coerced Blaine into a marshmallow eating contest. Whoever could fit the most in their mouth won. Rachel snatched the bag away with a laugh. The two were trying to talk with marshmallows filling their mouths.

She plopped the marshmallows in the cups and put it away before anymore could be shoved in the guys' mouths. Kurt was taking a video of the two talking on his phone. Rachel rolled her eyes. She handed Kurt his mug and grabbed hers, walking to the living room again.

She and Kurt studied for their Spanish test the next day. Soon Blaine and James came in with their mugs and marshmallow-free mouths. They continued to work on their project.

Soon, Kate got home and found the four sprawled out working on homework with the radio coming through the speakers. She smiled when she saw her son smiling. She asked them all to stay for dinner. She ordered takeout and when it got there, took it in her office, having brought work home with her.

Rachel tried and failed to teach Blaine how to use chopsticks. She sighed in defeat and expertly grabbed a piece of General Tso's tofu. Kurt and James were debating how fortune cookies were made. Soon they finished. Rachel and James told Kurt and Blaine to go back to homework and that they'd clean up.

* * *

><p>Rachel threw away the last box, feeling very full. She turned and smiled at James. He smiled back and brought his lips down to hers, kissing her sweetly. Then he lifted her up onto the counter, kissing her harder. Rachel's hands moved to his biceps which had gotten harder and more muscular due to all the weight lifting and training he'd been doing lately. He broke off her mouth and placed small kisses on her neck. She wrapped her legs around him.<p>

"James, there are people in the next room," she said with a breathless laugh. He pulled back and smiled, and lifted her off the counter, and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. Then he gently set her down. Rachel grabbed his hand and joined the others. They finished up.

Rachel, Blaine and Kurt all got ready to go after another hour. Rachel had come with James, and Kurt had said that he'd give her a ride home.

"Pick you up in the morning?" James said, after Kurt and Blaine had walked out. Rachel nodded and stood on her tiptoes to kiss James goodnight. She smiled as she pulled back, squeezing his hand. She climbed into the backseat of Kurt's car. She received happy grins from both Kurt and Blaine.

"What?" she asked. Blaine shook his head with a smile and turned forward as Kurt pulled out.

"You two are adorable," Kurt said.

* * *

><p>Rachel burrowed herself deeper in her blankets. She was awake but it felt nice to just lay there and not think about anything. She couldn't believe how well things were going. The only small side effect of James' new medicine was that he was more tired than usual, and he'd assured her it was nothing caffeine couldn't cure.<p>

Downstairs, Rachel's fathers were eating breakfast together when they heard a knock on the door. Leroy stood up to get it, knowing it was James. He genuinely like the boy and he was absolutely perfect for Rachel and with his situation, Rachel was perfect for him.

He opened it and smiled at the boy.

"Come on in James. Rachel should be up. She's getting terrible at not sleeping in. Would you wake her up?" Leroy said good-naturedly. James agreed and slipped off his shoes and bag at the door.

He quietly made his way upstairs. He opened Rachel's door gently, but he couldn't avoid the small squeak it made. He saw one chocolate brown eye peek out from the bed. He saw it crinkle at the edges in a smile. He made his way and jumped on top of Rachel. She giggled and pulled the blanket off of her face.

She still looked half asleep. James thought she looked beautiful and he told her so. She rolled her eyes and kissed him. She gently pushed him off her and went to brush her teeth and wash her face. She put on a knitted red oversize cardigan over a loose white tank-top. She put on light blue denim skinny jeans. She tucked her jeans into tall black Uggs that Kate had let her borrow. She walked out and smiled seeing James flat on his back staring at the ceiling. She kissed his cheek and tugged him up.

She inhaled a cup of coffee and decided to skip breakfast, seeing they were late.

* * *

><p>She squeezed James' hand when they parted ways, shooting him a smile as she hurried off to her locker. The morning flew by and before she knew it, it was lunch time. Rachel was just shutting her locker when she felt people behind her. She turned and groaned inwardly. Five guys were standing there. All with sixty four ounce slushies. Rachel looked both ways down the hallway. No sighting of teachers or James.<p>

"Azimio, don't," she said softly. He laughed.

"I don't think so Berry. Because of your boyfriend I was bumped down off the varsity team. I don't think that was very nice," he said, getting closer, a sneer on his face. He stepped back, nodded to his friends and they let their slushies fly.

Rachel shut her eyes, but to no avail. She already felt the sting of corn syrup in her eyes. It had hurt when it slapped against her skin. She couldn't help the sob that came out of her mouth.

The guys gave each other high fives and walked off. Everybody in the hallway was silent all watching but not knowing what to do.

At that moment, the rest of the glee club came around the corner and they all saw Rachel standing there. She'd unbuttoned her soaked through red sweater and taken it off to her untouched white tank top, and was left standing with tears on her cheeks, shivering, looking tinier than she ever had. Kurt and all of the glee girls ran and took her into the bathroom. Everybody in the hallway, including the jocks, who had turned around, turned their eyes on the Glee guys. Every one of their faces held anger. None had more anger than James.

Azimio walked forward. He was the same height as James, but he was bigger. James took a step forward. People were confused by his face. He didn't have rage on his face. It was a look of contempt. His face was set in stone. Unfeeling and uncaring. It was strange for the people watching in silence. They were used to his face being full of warmth and never without a smile.

"Got something to say Richards?" Azimio said, when the two stopped, feet from each other. He looked slightly nervous. James usually just punched him as soon as he could. This was different.

"Just that," James said pausing, eyes boring into Azimio's, "you can go to hell." He enunciated the words clearly, never breaking eye contact. He walked to the entrance of the girls bathroom. He shrugged out of his letterman jacket and slid it in the door, not looking in, never turning his body away or breaking eye contact with Azimio. A second later Rachel stepped out, wearing James' jacket and still shivering with freshly rinsed hair; the glee girls right behind her.

Rachel's eyes were rimmed in red and she had tears in the corner of her eyes.

James held his eyes on Azimio's for one more second. He was boiling inside. Azimio was getting the message. James looked down at Rachel. She looked up at him, her chocolate eyes so different from how they'd been when he'd first seen them that morning. He leaned down, kissed her forehead and took her small hand in his hand, leading her to the glee room.

The glee club all followed, Puck in the rear. He had been following, but all of the sudden turned and gave Azimio a rough shove, surprising him and knocking him down on his back. He turned around and followed. Nobody moved to help Azimio.


	10. Fame

Fame

The glee club formed a ring around Rachel. They all set off for the cafeteria. All of the sudden Rachel took off running, pushing through them. She was going as fast as she could. She ran into the side entrance into the auditorium. James immediately ran after her. He was followed by the rest of the glee club. The glee club came in and soon found Rachel sitting on the ground by the back wall just off stage. She looked up at the group.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes were even redder than they had been before. She was letting out big, choking sobs. The glee club saw that she was clutching her hand. She had punched the wall as hard as she could and her knuckles were bleeding and red. James walked forward slowly and knelt down in front of her.

He met her eyes. She held his for a second, and then squeezed her own shut, taking a deep breath. She opened them again. He opened his arms and she threw herself into his arms, burying her face in his chest. James pulled her up but didn't break the embrace.

He felt a hand tap on his shoulder. Her turned and saw Quinn. She mouthed "Nurse" and he nodded. He pulled away from Rachel slightly and grabbed her uninjured hand, pulling her along to the nurse's office, while the glee club walked reluctantly off to lunch, each feeling immensely protective of Rachel.

The nurse deemed Rachel's hand to be alright, just bruised and scraped. Rachel had her hand bandaged, sitting there numbly. The nurse left the room, for her own lunch break.

James looked down at Rachel until she looked up at him, meeting his eyes, which were full of warmth and comfort and worry. Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek to his.

"I love you," James whispered in her ear. Rachel gave a nod and sighed. She kissed James' cheek and grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room and into the empty hallway. The two walked together to glee. They walked in, and the club had filled Mr. Shuester in on Rachel's ordeal. They were all going to be gentle with her, but otherwise, not mention the incident. The chairs had been stacked off to the side to practice, so James sat on the first raised step. Rachel sat between his legs, leaning on his chest and he had his arms around her. The two stayed like that most of the class. Rachel sat quietly, not saying anything, but looked content and almost sleepy. Mr. Shuester talked most of the class, getting input, giving critiques, and helping discuss new ideas. Quinn and Santana were running through their part, when Mr. Figgins walked in. He stopped and the room was awkwardly silent.

"I would like Miss Rachel Berry to come with me," he said, looking to Mr. Shuester, who nodded, but looked confused. Rachel gave James' hand a squeeze, stood and walked out, following Mr. Figgins. The club watched her go, wondering what was going on.

Rachel walked into the office where Figgins told her to sit. She did.

"Miss Berry. It has come to my attention that you and several others at this school are bullied at times," he said. Had Rachel not been slushied that day she would probably roll her eyes at that understatement. Instead she sat and waited for him to continue. Figgins cleared his throat.

"I know that you are an exceptional singer. I would like to have an assembly in which you sing a song about anti-bullying. It is tomorrow. I am aware of the late noticed but I am also aware that that is usually the time frame in which the glee club prepares for most competitions. So it should not be a problem. You may choose the song, and it would be alright if Mr. Richards accompanied you. Any questions?" Figgins said, raising his eyebrows. Rachel let out a barely audible sigh and nodded, knowing trying to get out of this would not work. Figgins nodded and dismissed her. Rachel made her way back to the choir room.

Almost to the choir room, Rachel stopped. She slid down the lockers and sat in the empty hallway, hugging her knees to her chest. She let out a deep, unsteady breath. Having to take care of James had helped her get over her own insecurities and fears about how she was treated by the other students. She remembered what she told James, about how they were bullied because the other kids couldn't except that somebody else knew what they wanted.

The performer in Rachel couldn't help but be extremely hurt by the bullying. All she wanted to do was please people. She wanted people to be in awe of who she was and what she could do. That's what she wanted. She shut her eyes and thought to herself, furrowing her brow. She was better than this. She knew she was. She stood and walked into the choir room.

The club looked up at her sudden entrance.

"Girls of glee club. I need your help with a number. Could all of you come by my place tonight?" Rachel said. Everybody was taken aback. Here was a girl who had been crying her eyes out. The club exchanged glances. The fire was back in Rachel's eyes. The fire that was always their just before they won. Just then the bell rang and Rachel waited for James, who was smiling slightly, to catch up, then left the room.

* * *

><p>That night the girls arrived all wearing dance clothes as had been ordered via text. The glee guys had also all come over to watch and yell at Rachel's TV for a big football game, all the while eating all of her food. Kurt hadn't been able to come seeing as Blaine had had an awards ceremony at Dalton, and Kurt had promised weeks earlier to be there for him. Lauren had, without any sugar-coating, told Rachel that she wanted no part in the dance. She had told Rachel that she thought that Rachel was doing the right thing.<p>

Rachel hadn't wasted any time. She'd ushered the girls down the stairs to the basement into the dance studio. She moved to the front of the room and the glee girls all lined up facing her. Rachel started telling them all about Figgin's request and her plans. All of the girls were excited about her song choice.

As soon as Rachel had gotten home from school earlier, she'd set to fine tuning this and each girl had to agree that the choreography was very good.

Two hours later each girl was ready for the next day. Rachel turned to face them.

"So?" she asked, looking hopefully at each girl's face. They all laughed and assured Rachel that it was going to be great. Rachel relaxed and the group moved upstairs. The game was also wrapping up. The guys were all exchanging money on account of lost and won bets. Rachel shook her head at the mess they'd made and herded the group out, leaving just her and James there. Her fathers poked their heads down from upstairs, once they heard the group had left.

"We're going to sleep, sweetie. Be sure to clean up this mess," Leroy said. They both went back upstairs.

James gave Rachel an apologetic, sheepish grin. Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled. She and James cleaned up the mess. After, Rachel grabbed his hand.

"Come on, I'll walk you to your car," she said. The two deliberately walked slow, so they could talk.

"That was amazing what you did today," James said, after a moment of silence. Rachel smiled at him.

"You're the one who helped me," Rachel said. James raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Coming back from Figgins' office, I was thinking. You told me you loved me and I value your opinion more than anything. That makes me pretty special. If you think that, then others should too," Rachel said very slowly, for once not knowing how to say what she felt. James nodded, understanding. He smiled to himself. That was the same thing that kept him going at times.

Rachel stopped by James' car, breathing in the cold, fall air. She looked up at James, who was looking down at her. She smiled, and he smiled back, then leaned down and kissed her hard. She melted into the kiss, not caring about anything but James and that he was happy and here with her. Seconds later she found that the door of the backseat was open and she was pulling him on top of her inside the car.

* * *

><p>Rachel pulled herself upright and James did the same; sitting in the dark, next to each other in the backseat. Rachel pulled her t-shirt back over her head. Both were silent. Rachel leaned into James side and he put his arm around her.<p>

"Did we umm… just have sex in the back of a car?" Rachel said, furrowing her brow for a second, not able to help the smile on her lips. Rachel felt James laughing silently next to her. Rachel sighed.

"Why do you have condoms in your bag?" Rachel asked gesturing to James' bag in the front seat. James thought for a second. Even in the dark, Rachel could see he was smiling.

"You never know," he shrugged. Rachel laughed, shaking her head. She kissed James' cheek.

"You are such a guy. Good night," Rachel said laughing. The whole situation was funny and she didn't know why.

She got out one side as James' got out the other to get in the driver's seat. Rachel began walking up her driveway.

"Love you," she heard from behind her. She turned and in the streetlight, could see him leaning out of his window, white teeth gleaming in a smile.

"Love you too," she said over her shoulder, hurrying inside.

* * *

><p>Rachel looked in the eyes of all the girls. She saw each of them were ready. Principal Figgins finished his unconvincing speech against bullying and introduced them, then shuffled off the stage.<p>

Rachel took a deep breath and spoke into the mike; the room completely dark and quiet, speaking slowly and clearly.

"You bully me. I don't know why. Would you want somebody trying to make you feel less than you are? You have no idea what I am going to do with my life, but I know it will be great. You can throw slushies at me. You can call me names. You could pretend that I am going to be nobody for my whole life. That's fine," Rachel said. She took a breath and a spotlight shown on her. Behind her, with their backs facing the students stood the five other Glee girls.

The girls were wearing costumes that had been for a number that had gotten canceled. They wore velvet dark purple high-waisted shorts with gold buttons on the front. Tucked in they wore tight black shirts with three-quarter inch sleeves. They all had on matching black patent leather heeled dance shoes.

Rachel, through the bright lights, could see the students of McKinley. She put all her fears aside and began to sing.

**(Rachel, _All Girls_)**

**Baby look at me**

The band, from off to the side, began to play.

**And tell me what you see  
>You ain't seen the best of me yet<br>Give me time I'll make you forget the rest**

Quinn and Tina walked up on either side and joined in the singing, both dancing perfect time with Rachel.

_**I got more in me  
>And you can set it free<br>I can catch the moon in my hands  
>Don't you know who I am<br>**_

The girls all joined in, each dancing and singing as one voice; moving together, with Rachel at the center.**  
><strong>

**Remember my name  
><strong>_**Fame  
><strong>_**  
>I'm gonna live forever<br>I'm gonna learn how to fly  
><strong>_**High  
><strong>_**  
>I feel it coming together<br>People will see me and cry  
><strong>_**Fame **_

**I'm gonna make it to heaven**  
><strong>Light up the sky like a flame<strong>

_**Fame  
><strong>_**  
><strong>Rachel's choreography was perfectly dramatic for the song, and each girl was spot on.

_**I'm gonna live forever  
>Baby remember my name<strong>_

_**Remember  
>Remember<br>Remember  
>Remember<br>Remember  
>Remember<br>Remember  
>Remember<strong>_

Rachel stepped up, Santana and Britney on either side. They moved slowly and seductively.

**Baby hold me tight  
>Cause you can make it right<br>**

Then the girls all lined up again and resumed the dance, which all of the students thought was amazing.

**You can shoot me straight to the top  
>Give me love and take all I've got to give<strong>

**Baby I'll be tough**  
><strong>Too much is not enough<strong>  
><strong>I can ride your heart til it breaks<strong>  
><strong>Ooh I got what it takes<strong>

_**Fame **_**  
>I'm gonna live forever<br>I'm gonna learn how to fly  
><strong>_**High  
><strong>_**  
>I feel it coming together<br>People will see me and cry  
><strong>_**Fame**_

__**I'm gonna make it to heaven  
>Light up the sky like a flame<br>**_**Fame **_

**I'm gonna live forever**  
><strong>Baby remember my name<strong>

_**Fame**_

Rachel held her last pose, breathing heavy. She didn't move; waiting. Through the light she saw all of the glee guys stand and cheer. After a second, that felt more like a year, the whole student body joined in. It got louder and louder. Tears sprung up on the corner of Rachel's eyes. She turned and hugged all of the girls in turn, thanking them for their help. All the while the students cheered, going crazy for the girl who for so long had been somebody that they couldn't give applause to, but now they could.

* * *

><p><strong>Teehee, I like this chapter. After watching the fantastic season premiere I wanted to write some more. I hope you liked this chapter! Please tell me what you think and give me suggestions please!<strong>

**Btw tweethearts: Follow me on twitter and I will follow you back! swheeley96**

**Song:**

**Fame: Irene Cara (In my humble opinion, the newest movie wasn't very good)**

**REVIEW!**


	11. Faster

Faster

James walked into the glee room the next day, and smiled as he saw Rachel was already up and working with the glee girls on their part for Party Rock Anthem. He went and sat down among the glee guys. The guys all started talking about what the girls had been talking about for weeks now: Homecoming.

"I was gonna take Zizes, but she blew me off for some wrestler. So those two new Russian twins on the Cheerios, Sasha and Svetlana, asked me to be both of their dates," Puck said, eyes excited at not the actual dance, but the fun he was sure to have afterwards. He received several high-fives.

"I was gonna ask Quinn," Artie said quietly, looking at the guys' reactions. They all nodded. Finn clapped him on the back and told how he was going to ask a girl who was the star of the girl's basketball team, Alicia Bennet. A murmur of approval came from the guys. Mike had choreographed a dance as well as given flowers to Tina to ask her and in a fit of tears, she'd accepted. All of the guys turned to James, who hadn't said much. He looked contemplative.

"I have an idea and I think you guys can help me," James said, a smile spreading across his face. James explained the idea to the guys who thought that it was the sappiest, chick-flick type move, but that Rachel would practically explode with girly joy when James asked her. They all agreed.

Then Mr. Shuester walked in.

"Alright guys settle down," he said, shuffling through some papers on the table. The girls all stopped and moved to their seats. Rachel plopped down on James' lap and he grabbed both of her hands from behind.

"Rachel and James have told me what song they would like to do and I agree that it will be very good," he said, smiling at the couple, who both smiled back at him.

"Do you guys wanna run through the number?" Mr. Shuester said. Rachel hopped up and pulled James with her. She loved the song they'd picked. They ran it for the rest of the hour. When the bell rang, Rachel was pulled off by Tina and Mercedes to their class, shooting James a goodbye smile. James returned it and ran through what he wanted the guys to do, then they all went to class, all looking forward to lunchtime.

Rachel had noticed, since James' had set Azimio straight and her performance, that nobody had messed with her or the Glee club. In fact, walking down the hallway with Mercedes and Tina, several people had called out a greeting or smiled at them.

The student body had chosen to accept the glee club and its Queen with it. It was true that Rachel looked good. Kurt, having felt bad, about not having helped Rachel as much as he could've have, had come and "helped" her by helping her with her wardrobe once again. Rachel had recently been throwing on whatever was comfortable, not always what looked good. Rachel had grudgingly told Kurt she would try harder. Today she wore a loose fitting shirt that was white but had a black line down the shoulder. It was tucked in a pretty bright coral skirt. She had on black tights and strappy coral heels. Her long hair was straightened and there was a natural smile on her coral lips all day.

* * *

><p>Rachel took a sip of her water and looked up as the glee guys all filed into the lunchroom. They all walked in and stood in front of the table with all the glee girls sitting at it, James front and center with a guitar around him. Rachel looked and saw the band was setting up in the corner and wondered why she hadn't noticed. James and the band started playing. The glee guys moved off and around standing around the rest of the glee girls. Kurt pushed Rachel up and she stood up, three feet away from James with a raised eyebrow. James began to sing, a smile on his lips and looking only at Rachel. The rest of the cafeteria just watched.<p>

**You're so delicious  
>you're so soft<br>sweet on the tip of my tongue  
>you taste like sunlight<br>and strawberry bubble gum**

**you bite my lip**  
><strong>you spike my blood<strong>  
><strong>you make my heart beat faster<strong>

the other glee guys joined in sang. The rest of the cafeteria couldn't help but get into it and some sang along, and others clapped.

**own me, you own  
>you rattle my bones<br>you turn me over and over  
>'till I can't control myself<br>make me a liar  
>one big disaster<br>you make my heart beat faster**

James circled her and Rachel turned with him. She was blushing heavily as he sang the next verse.

**it's the way you swell, slow  
>pushing right out your seams<br>it's the way you smile, baby  
>when you've got me on my knees<strong>

**your all night noise**  
><strong>your siren howl<strong>  
><strong>you make my heart, beat, faster<strong>

Rachel couldn't help the smile that came to her lips.**  
><strong>

**own me, you own  
>you rattle my bones<br>you turn me over and over  
>'till I can't control myself<br>make me a liar  
>one big disaster<br>you make my heart beat faster**

James closed his eyes as he went into his falsetto.

**cause I jump back, crash, I crawl  
>I beg and steal, I follow you<br>yeah you own me  
>and you make my heart beat faster<strong>

**I can't get enough**  
><strong>because its on like<strong>  
><strong>I guess this world is over to me<strong>

By now the entire room was up and dancing. The cafeteria workers all rolled their eyes and went back to their work, used to this by now.

**you own me, you own  
>you rattle my bones<br>you turn me over and over  
>'till I can't control myself<br>make me a liar  
>one big disaster<br>you make my heart beat faster  
><strong>

The whole cafeteria cheered. Rachel moved to hug James but he held up a finger.

Soon the cafeteria fell silent. Puck, Finn, Mike, Sam, and James lined up, in that order from left to right. After a second, each promptly took off their shirts. Across their bodies was written: HO MEC OMI NG ? Rachel smiled at the question mark on James' chest. James stepped forward and handed her a single red rose. Rachel nodded, not able to speak. James moved to hug her but she wouldn't let him, not wanting the blue paint from his chest on her shirt. The two both laughed and Rachel pulled him down and kissed him sweetly, still careful to avoid the blue paint.

Rachel turned to thank the guys. Puck was having Santana take a picture of him with HO written on his chest. The cafeteria was buzzing about the cuteness of what had happened. Mercedes uploaded the video she'd taken of all of the guys ripping off their shirts and Rachel's reaction to Facebook. Rachel couldn't wait for Homecoming.

* * *

><p>Rachel and James went to Rachel's house afterwards. Rachel walked in the door, setting her stuff down on the table by the door. James did the same and the two walked to the kitchen. Rachel stopped, causing James to run into her from behind her.<p>

Standing in the kitchen was Shelby once again. A smile broke out on Rachel's face. She ran forward and hugged Shelby.

"It's so great to see you!" Rachel said. She pulled back from Shelby and moved to Beth, scooping her from the floor and spinning her around. It was so great to see the two again.

Shelby gave James a hug while Rachel was with Beth. She'd heard about how good James was being with Rachel and was very proud of him.

"Why are you guys here?" Rachel asked looking up from Beth at Shelby. Shelby gave a sneaky smile.

"You will find out soon enough," Shelby said smiling. Rachel shrugged and continued to play with Beth. Shelby nudged James.

"I heard you guys are going to Homecoming," she said with a smile. James laughed and nodded. His mother and Shelby were avid texting buddies.

"Rachel, give Beth to James for a minute," Shelby said. Rachel complied and was led upstairs to the guestroom with Shelby. Apparently she'd called ahead and talked to Rachel's fathers. Shelby pulled a garment bag from the closet. She placed it on the bed and then unzipped it. Rachel gasped.

"I want you to wear it for Homecoming, Rachel," Shelby said, smiling at the surprised face of her daughter.

"This was my dress. I wore it for my senior year Homecoming. I was never able to give it away. Rachel hugged her mother.

Shelby sat on the edge of the bed next to the dress and Rachel sat next to her.

"As a child and into my teens, you could say that I was just a bit obsessed with dresses, so I always had fun looking for dresses for any occasion. I found this in a little store in Cincinnati and fell in love," Shelby said, laughing at herself and how attached she was to the dress.

Rachel smiled back at her mother. She loved hearing about her mother's life.

"Can I try it on?" Rachel asked. Shelby nodded. Rachel took off her heels, tights, and shirt and skirt quickly, very excited to wear the dress.

She slipped it over her head and looked in the mirror.

Shelby put a hand over her mouth. She was in awe of her daughter. The dress fit her just as it had fit Shelby all of those years ago.

The dress was dark purple and had a lighter shade of lace put over the top. It had a built in petticoat underneath so it flared out at Rachel's tiny waist. Tiny little pearls wear sewn in all over the dress. It was strapless and had a sweetheart neckline. The material underneath subtly shimmered in the light. It ended about five inches above Rachel's knee.

Rachel turned to her mom and saw she had tears in the corner of her eyes. She quickly moved and hugged her mother hard. She could tell that Shelby was never sure if she could actually know her daughter enough to see her in the dress. Rachel kissed Shelby's cheek.

"I love you, Mom," Rachel said in Shelby's ear.

"I love you, Rachel," Shelby said. Rachel handed Shelby her iPhone and Shelby snapped a picture. Rachel knew Kurt would want to see. Just then she heard a knock at the door.

"Shelby, I think Beth wants to eat," James said. Shelby sprung into action.

"Stay out of here James," Shelby called. She motioned for Rachel to get dressed.

"I'm not getting married," Rachel said laughing. Shelby raised an eyebrow and Rachel put up her hands in surrender. She slipped out of her dream dress and gave it to Shelby to put back into the garment bag. Rachel picked up her other clothes from the floor and opened the door, clad in only her bra and underwear. She winked at James who was holding Beth, as she crossed the hall into her own room.

Shelby walked out then and took Beth, going downstairs. James was left standing in the hall, kind of confused. After a moment of wondering what was going on, he knocked on Rachel's door.

Rachel called for him to come in. Now she was wearing a dark grey sweater dress that was loose on the top, making her look tiny, but tighter on the bottom, emphasizing her curves. She was pulling her hair into a high ponytail. She laughed at James' still confused expression. James let it go; knowing better than to try to get her to tell him what was going on.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out.

"Blaine just texted. He wants us to meet him and Kurt at the Bean," he said. Rachel nodded and slipped on her Converse. She grabbed his hand and the went downstairs and out the door, yelling to Shelby that they'd be back for dinner. They came out just as Rachel's fathers were getting home from work. Rachel smiled at them and told them where they were going. The two got in James' car and drove off.

Rachel walked in and immediately saw the two in the corner. James got in line to get coffee and Rachel walked over to the table.

Rachel sat down across from Kurt.

"Guess what? Shelby is in town and she brought me the most gorgeous dress that she wore for her own Homecoming," Rachel said excitedly. She showed Kurt a picture and he agreed that it was an amazing dress. Rachel snatched the phone back as James made his way over. He said hello to both of the boys and sat down.

"Rachel." He said. She looked at him.

"What were you and Shelby doing?" he asked playfully, keeping Rachel's favorite drink, a pumpkin spice latte, just out of her reach.

"Um… I started my period and had run out of tampons," Rachel said hopefully. James raised an eyebrow and looked skeptical. The two had a staring contest.

"Right. Anyway I'm looking forward to seeing your dress," James said, handing Rachel her drink. He knew that her period had been two weeks ago.

"Thank you," she said smiling. Kurt rolled his eyes. Rachel turned to Blaine.

"So what's up?" she asked. Kurt began bouncing in his chair with excitement and before Blaine could say anything, Kurt burst out,

"He's transferring to McKinley!"

Rachel laughed, and then it fell away from her lips as she thought.

"Come by my house tomorrow afterschool Blaine. I need to run you through a lot of stuff." She pulled a notebook out of her huge purse. James leaned back in his seat and put his arm on the back of Rachel's chair, seeing as he was used to this. Kurt and Blaine were both shocked at the amount of work they saw in the notebook. Rachel looked up and smiled at their shocked expressions.

"Mr. Shuester is busier this year and asked me to do more," she said with a shrug, going back to some diagrams of positions for choreography. The group stayed for another hour and parted, saying goodbye. Blaine wasn't starting until Monday of the next week, but Rachel was still going to work him just as hard as if her were a part of the group, since Sectionals was in two weeks.

**Normally, I rotate through my stories but I couldn't stop writing the last chapter and decided to split it in two. I hope you enjoyed!**

**Song: Faster by Matt Nathanson**

**REVIEW!**


	12. Quick as a Blink

Quick as a Blink

James stood at the bottom of the stairs of his house with the rest of the guys, listening to the chaos going on upstairs. He heard screams, giggles, shouts and mysterious thumps. Soon it faded to the excited giggling of the girls. Shelby came downstairs accompanied by James' mother and Judy Fabray. They smiled at the herd of boys waiting at the stairs, with parents holding cameras behind them. Shelby cleared her throat.

"Presenting, Tina Cohen Chang," she said grandly, big smiled on her face as she took Beth from Puck. Tina walked down the stairs. Her hair was in loose pinned up curls with a few hanging out. Her dress was a vintage 1920s black flapper dress that had black fringe on it that swished every time she moved and had small sparkly beads on it. She wore fishnet stockings. Mike handed her a red rose corsage, kissing her cheek.

"Next, Santana Lopez," Shelby announced. Santana stepped onto the landing proudly. She wore a sleeveless tuxedo romper that hid thick straps and had a high neckline, emphasizing her curves. Her long hair was arranged in a perfectly straight and a black fedora rested slightly crooked on her head. She wore black platform ankle boots that made her tan legs look miles long and her lips were bright red. All of the boys whooped as Santana sauntered down the stairs. Santana reached the bottom with a smirk then turned as her date was announced.

"Next, Britney S. Pierce," Shelby said. Britney came into view, striking a pose at the top landing then twirling in a circle as her parents took the video. Her dress was short in the front and longer in the back. The dress flared at the waist and had extra poof in the back. It was ice blue, but had black sequin lace in patches. Her hair piled on top of her head and she had a blue headband. She quickly skipped down the stairs into the waiting arms of Santana who handed her a light blue iris corsage with an unfamiliar huge smile that was rarely seen by her fellow glee members.

"You look so sexy, San," Britney said looking Santana up and down.

"Right back at you, Cinderella," Santana said grabbing Britney's hand, practically beaming at Britney.

"Kurt Hummel."

Kurt stepped out in a perfectly fitted silver tux. His hair was perfectly gelled. He ran down the stairs to Blaine, who handed him a blue corsage that matched Kurt's bright blue eyes.

Puck's dates, Sasha and Svetlana stepped out, both wearing matching dresses, but in different colors. Puck handed them each their corsages and smirked as both linked arms with him.

Mercedes stepped out next, hands on hips, looking stunning in a bright blue dress. She came down to receive a kiss from her new boyfriend.

Finn's date, Alicia Bennet came down smiling and in a pretty red dress. Finn gave her her corsage and also grabbed her hand. He'd been hanging out with Alicia a lot lately and the two really were liking each other.

Next, Lauren came down in a black dress that fit her very well, thanks to Kurt. She came down and linked arms with her new wrestler boyfriend, Brian Adams.

Sam's date Fiona, a girl that was in was Rachel's English class also came down. She was shy and quiet, but every word that she said was hilarious.

Quinn came down, wearing a dark pink strapless dress. Her hair was down in soft curls and she looked sweet and simple. She let Artie put her pink carnation corsage around her wrist, smiling at him and bending down to kiss his cheek, while her mother snapped pictures of her daughter.

"Rachel," Shelby said, softly. She knew seeing her daughter would make her emotional. And she was right.

Rachel stepped out in the purple lace dress. The pearls on the dress gleamed subtly in the low lighting. Rachel's hair was intricately braided and put in an updo. Weaved into the braids were tiny pearls. Rachel's cheeks were rosy and her eyes were shining with excitement. Shelby put a hand over her mouth, speechless. She hugged her daughter when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Rachel pulled back from her mother with a smile and turned to James.

He was looking at Rachel, perfectly content, a small smile on his face. Rachel walked to him and he touched his forehead to hers.

"I love you," he whispered. Rachel smiled and mouthed it back to him.

An hour later, after taking millions of pictures everybody sat down in the Richards' huge dining room table for their catered dinner. Rachel barely ate anything; she was too happy and too excited. She kept her hand in James' the whole meal.

* * *

><p>On the way out the door, James' mom caught him, saying she needed to talk to him. James told Rachel to save him a seat and she left.<p>

"James, have you been taking your medicine? The bottle was still half full," his mother asked, point black, worry on her face. She looked straight in James eyes.

"I haven't needed it as much," James said, shrugging and averting his eyes. He didn't like it very much, since it made him feel numb. He quickly said goodbye to his mother and ran out the door.

Soon they were all in the limo that Rachel's dads had arranged for them.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into the dance. The theme was "Starry Night," and the gym was decorated beautifully decorated. Rachel danced the whole night, not only with James but with all her friends. She had never felt happier.<p>

James was getting punch for himself and Rachel when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned, and at first didn't recognize the guy. Then he recognized him as the guy who had dated Rachel. Jesse.

"Hey man," Jesse said, smiling friendly.

"Um, hey," James said, brow furrowing, "What are you doing here?"

"I work here at McKinley now. I'm the music teacher. Figgins wants a music class, rather than just a club at the school and I was the most qualified for the job. After being on Broadway for my first show, I wanted to take a break. Anyway, I'm chaperoning," Jesse said proudly. James nodded. He really didn't know what to make of the guy. He knew that he'd been with Rachel and that she'd turned him down because he'd been a jerk.

"So, it would seem your date is having a good time," Jesse said, nodding in the direction of Rachel. She was dancing with Noah and Sam goofily, "Keep a tight grip on her though. She tends to be a bit flighty. She can leave you quick as a blink. If I were you, I wouldn't fall too fast," Jesse said, smirk on his face. James was about to deny it and defend Rachel, but Jesse walked off before he could.

"Asshole," James muttered, and then turned back to Rachel, had taken her heels of and was currently having a dance off with Mike Chang, and though she was losing simply because Mike was Mike she was dancing kind of provocatively, or was it just his imagination. Was she doing that for Puck? James watched as she sent a wink at Puck, then laughed out loud at Puck's exaggerated pained face. James stood there for a while, thinking. He was letting what Jesse said get to him.

Rachel remained blissfully ignorant of the seed that had been planted in her boyfriend's head. She felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and saw it was Jesse.

"Hey," she said, smiling. This night was too good to even be spoiled by him. She asked Jesse what he was doing here and he told her about how he was here doing music classes.

"You should get up there," Jesse nodded to the stage.

"Really?" Rachel asked. Jesse nodded. Rachel thought for a second, said goodbye to Jesse and went up on the stage and talked to the DJ. He handed her a mike and announced her. Rachel scanned the room for James, but not seeing him, beckoned Finn onstage. He came up and she whispered the song in his ear and he smiled, nodding. Rachel nodded to the DJ who began the instrumental and Finn began to sing.

**I make them good girls go bad  
>I make them good girls go<br>Good girls go bad  
>Good girls go bad<br>**

All of the kids cheered and began to dance.

**I ****know ****your ****type  
>Yeah <strong>**daddy's ****lil' ****girl  
>Just <strong>**take ****a ****bite  
>Let <strong>**me ****shake ****up ****your ****world  
>Cause <strong>**just ****one ****night ****couldn't ****be ****so ****wrong  
>I'm <strong>**gonna ****make ****you ****lose ****control**

Finn stepped over to Rachel and she winked at him, then sauntered away.

**She ****was ****so ****shy  
>'Til <strong>**I ****drove ****her ****wild**

**I make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
>You <strong>**were ****hanging ****in ****the ****corner  
>With <strong>**your ****five ****best ****friends  
>You <strong>**heard ****that ****I ****was ****trouble ****but ****you ****couldn't ****resist  
>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go ****bad  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go ****bad  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go  
><strong>  
>Rachel stepped up and put a hand on up Finn's shoulder, closing her eyes and feeling the music.<p>

_I know your type  
>Boy you're dangerous<br>Yeah you're that guy  
>I'd be stupid to trust<br>_

The two moved to separate sides of the stage. Rachel singing and Finn getting the crowd riled up.

_But __just __one __night __couldn't __be __so __wrong  
>You <em>_make __me __want __to __lose __control  
><em>**  
>She <strong>**was ****so ****shy  
>'Til <strong>**I ****drove ****her ****wild  
><strong>  
><strong>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
><strong>_I __was __hanging __in __the __corner  
>With <em>_my __five __best __friends  
>I <em>_heard __that __you __were __trouble __but __I __couldn't __resist  
><em>**I ****make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go ****bad  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go ****bad  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go ****bad  
><strong>  
>Finn and the rest of the boys chanted their part<p>

**Oh she got a way with them boys in the place  
>Treat 'em like they don't stand a chance<br>**

Rachel and the girls chanted their part.

_And __he __got __a __way __with __them __girls __in __the __back  
>Actin' <em>_like __they __too __hot __to __dance_

**Yeah ****she ****got ****a****way ****with ****them ****boys ****in ****the ****place  
>Treat<strong>**' em ****like ****they ****don't ****stand ****a ****chance  
><strong>_And __he __got __a__way __with __them __girls __in __the __back  
>Actin' <em>_like __they __too __hot __to __dance_

_**I **__**make **__**them **__**good **__**girls **__**go **__**bad  
>I <strong>__**make **__**them **__**good **__**girls **__**go  
>Them <strong>__**good **__**girls **__**go **__**bad  
><strong>_

Rachel and Finn faced each other, both with shut eyes as they sang out the next line.

_**Good girls go bad  
><strong>_

_I was hanging in the corner  
>With my five best friends<br>I heard that you were trouble but I couldn't resist  
><strong>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go ****bad  
>I <strong>**make ****them ****good ****girls ****go  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go ****bad  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go ****bad  
>Good <strong>**girls ****go**_

The two finished, both laughing. They hugged and left the stairs. Everybody at the dance clapped. Finn went back to Alicia. Rachel walked around the gym, saying hello to people as she went, looking for James.

All of the sudden, Jesse was in her path.

"Good job," he smiled at her.

"Thank you," she said, flashing him a smile, then letting her eyes wander once more, "have you seen James?"

"Yeah, I think he went in the hallway," Jesse said. Rachel thanked him again and went out into the hallway. She neared the corner and heard James' voice. She listened.

"Yes, Mom. I want to go back to New York. Yes, now. I'm sorry for the suddenness… but I can't stay," James said. Rachel turned the corner just as he ended the call.

"James?" Rachel said, brow furrowed. James sighed and turned to face him.

"Yes, Rachel. I'm leaving."

"What? Why?" Rachel said, stepping closer to him.

"I can't keep up with your life. You're going to move on and I can't deal with that. You expect me to follow along and put up with it but I just can't. You flirt with other guys and perform like… you just did. Then when its just us, you make me care so much that I… I just… can't deal any more," James said getting madder and madder by the second.

"James, please, calm down. Did you not take your meds today?" Rachel said, put her hands on James chest, trying to calm him.

"No!" James said loudly. He gave a rough shove. Rachel was pushed back several feet and landed roughly on her back. James was already walking out fast.

* * *

><p>Outside, his mother pulled up, to take him to the airport. He got in and didn't' look back or answer any of his mother's questions, putting in his headphones.<p>

* * *

><p>Back inside, just as James was out of sight, Rachel let out a sob. Kurt and Blaine, just rounding the corner, ran to her when they saw her on the floor.<p>

"Rachel! Are you okay?" Blaine said, kneeling next to her. Rachel looked up at him, pain etched on her face and began letting out choking sobs, leaning into his chest. Kurt knelt in front of her.

"Rachel, what happened?" he asked slowly and gently. Rachel brought her eyes up to his, tears still falling silently down her cheeks.

"James," she whispered, holding Kurt's gaze then looked back down at her lap.


	13. When You're Gone

When You're Gone

Shelby turned the keys, shutting the car off. She closed her eyes and sighed. She had only just heard about James' leaving the previous Saturday night, on the phone with Leroy Berry. He'd said that Rachel wouldn't leave the house to do anything and that when people visited, she'd just sit there and respond with only one word answers. Leroy had asked Shelby to try and come to talk to her. Shelby got out of the car and walked briskly up the walk. She knocked and the tired face of Hiram Berry filled the doorway.

"Hello Shelby," he said. Shelby gave him a nod and a half-hearted smile. Hiram waved Shelby up to Rachel's room.

Shelby went up and knocked. No response. Shelby opened the door, slowly. Sitting on the bed was Rachel with huge Bose headphones in her ears. Her knees were pulled up tightly to her chest and her chin rested on them. Rachel met Shelby's eyes and Shelby's heart broke. Rachel had dark circles under her eyes and they were bloodshot and rimmed red from crying. She wore leggings and one of James' huge Juilliard sweatshirts. Her hair was pulled in a messy ponytail.

Shelby sat on the edge of the bed. She reached out and gently removed the headphones from Rachel's head. She could hear the music that Rachel had obviously been blasting coming from them.

"Sweetheart," Shelby said sadly, scooting closer to Rachel and putting her arms around her daughter. Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead. She looked down at her daughters face. Tears were silently falling. Soon they came faster and faster. Rachel sobbed into her mother's shoulder.

* * *

><p>"So you stayed all weekend?" Mr. Shuester asked Shelby in the teachers lounge, Monday morning. Shelby nodded.<p>

"Yes. I brought Beth over and we stayed. Rachel didn't want me to leave. Of course she spoke probably three words total all weekend, but I could tell that she was comforted by my being there," Shelby said sadly. Rachel had been a ghost all weekend. She'd barely eaten or drank anything. Shelby was worried.

The reason Shelby had come to Lima, Ohio again was Rachel. Shelby now was co-music teacher with Jesse and also was a co-director of glee with Mr. Shuester now. She had told Rachel and had received a weak smile, the happiest emotion Shelby saw all weekend.

Emma was asking if Shelby wanted her to talk with Rachel; an offer that Shelby immediately declined, this wasn't something that Rachel could fix by talking about it with somebody. She needed to find inner peace, something that she needed to do on her own. After a couple more minutes of small talk, Shelby stood with Mr. Shuester to go to the choir room for first hour glee practice.

They walked in the glee room and everybody was there, talking amongst themselves. Shelby's eyes immediately went to her daughter, who sat in the corner with ear buds in, head against the wall with her eyes closed. Shelby would've thought she was asleep were it not for the tapping of her foot to the beat of whatever sad song she was listening to.

The previous night she'd talked to James' dad. He'd reported that James was in much the same state, wrapped up in his own head.

Shelby walked over to Rachel and put a hand on her daughters shoulder. Rachel opened her eyes and looked up at her mother. She took out her ear buds and stood and moved to sit in a seat next to Kurt with a sigh. Once the club was silent, Mr. Shuester began.

"Well, guys, honestly, this week we are going to run Party Rock Anthem, but honestly, we need a new first number. Does anybody have any suggestions?" After a moment of silence, Puck slowly put his hand in the air. Mr. Shue nodded for him to talk.

"Alright. Look, I know that Rachel's hurting. Fresh wounds and all. I can speak for all of us and say that we are worried about her. I don't mean to sound like an insensitive douchebag, but I think Rachel should use that pain and perform alone. It worked at Regionals last year. Why not Sectionals this year?" Puck said. Immediately Kurt, Shelby, Mr. Shuester, Finn, and Santana all started vetoing the idea.

"I'll do it," Rachel said quietly, stopping everybody. She gave a nod to Puck. There was a moment of silence.

"Okay, Rachel. Could you work on thinking of a song to do for Sectionals?" Mr. Shuester asked gently. Rachel nodded.

Shelby sighed on the inside. Looking at her daughter, wearing that baggy sweatshirt, Shelby's heart swelled. She didn't know how to make her daughter feel better. After talking for a while longer, Mr. Shuester let them have free time so he could run Shelby through Party Rock.

Eventually the bell rang. Rachel walked straight into the auditorium. Ever since she'd started receiving letters from performing arts schools interested in her, she'd been using the auditorium during free period to practice.

She sat down in the middle of the stage, feeling numb; for the first time ever, not wanting to sing.

* * *

><p>Kurt walked into music class, unhappy. He'd been unlucky and had been given Jesse's class. Kurt didn't make eye contact or speak to "Mr. St. James" the whole hour. Jesse gave them theory books and let them complete the first few pages, then sat down at his computer.<p>

Kurt had his back to Jesse. He heard Jesse on the phone talking to somebody. Kurt decided to eavesdrop.

"Yeah. I was just gonna cause trouble as revenge by having James doubt Rachel. I just told him to keep a tight grip, 'cause she's flighty. I had no idea that he'd actually leave Lima," Jesse said, laughing incredulously, obviously proud of the fact that he'd gotten back at the girl who snubbed. Kurt listened as Jesse went on, unable to contain his anger. James obviously had been having a rough day and Jesse had provoked him. Kurt seethed quietly until the bell rang. He stayed behind, until all the rest of the kids were gone.

"So, Mr. St. James. I'm sure Rachel will be interested to know that you sabotaged her relationship," Kurt said. Jesse turned, surprise on his face.

"I did no such thing, Hummel," Jesse said, stepping toward Kurt.

"Is there a problem?" Blaine said from the door, usual warm smile gone, replaced by a cold look of contempt; he'd heard what Kurt had said. Puck was right behind him, looking pissed. Kurt nodded at the two, thanking them for the backup.

Kurt turned back to Jesse.

"James has had depression his whole life. You coming in and messing up what he and Rachel have worked so hard to build completely ruined everything. James' constant rock in his life was Rachel. Take that away, and he's right back where he started, before he met herl," Kurt said, glaring at Jesse, "Stay away from Rachel," he said. He handed Jesse back the books for his class, already planning on switching classes around so that he was in Shelby's class. He turned on his heel. Grabbing Blaine's hand, he walked out of the room, Puck behind. Puck already had his phone out and was calling Rachel to meet up.

* * *

><p>After school that day all of the glee members met in the music room for afterschool rehearsal. They knew Jesse was there and they wanted to see Rachel confront him. As soon as they all entered, Jesse got up to leave. Puck and Sam stood in front of the door, preventing him from leaving. Feeling a soft tap on his shoulder, Sam turned and saw Rachel standing at the door. He moved out of the way. To their surprise, they saw that she looked just as sad and tired as before, maybe even more so.<p>

Rachel walked in and saw everybody looking at her. They expected her to be mad. She couldn't be. She didn't care about Jesse. He was dead to her. When Kurt had told her what he'd done, she'd just walked away. She'd spent lunch in the auditorium, simply playing the piano, something that calmed her.

She looked at Jesse, who looked shocked at her not being angry and the way she looked.

"Leave," she said quietly, not breaking eye contact. Jesse started to say something, but seeing that Rachel was tearing up, scowled, shook his head and walked out quickly. Shelby stepped forward and hugged her daughter. She stepped back. Rachel looked up at Shelby.

"Can I sing?" she asked. Shelby immediately nodded. She gestured for the kids to sit. She went and sat next to Kurt, whispering in his ear to film this with his iPhone. Rachel quietly told the band the song. Brad started playing. Rachel took a deep breath and sang.

**I ****always ****needed ****time ****on ****my ****own**

**I ****never ****thought ****I'd ****need ****you ****there ****when ****I ****cry**

Rachel closed her eyes, speaking to James, even though he was gone

**And ****the ****days ****feel ****like ****years ****when ****I'm ****alone**

**And ****the ****bed ****where ****you ****lie ****is ****made ****up****on ****your ****side****  
><strong>

**When ****you ****walk ****away**

**I ****count ****the ****steps ****that ****you ****take**

**Do ****you ****see ****how ****much ****I ****need ****you ****right ****now?****  
><strong>

Rachel opened her eyes, tears spilling over. She didn't know how she could still cry.

**When ****you're ****gone**

**The ****pieces ****of ****my ****heart ****are ****missing ****you**

**When ****you're ****gone**

**The ****face ****I ****came ****to ****know ****is ****missing ****too****  
><strong>

So far she hadn't even looked at the glee club. Looking down, she sang with all she had.

**When ****you're ****gone**

**The ****words ****I ****need ****to ****hear ****to ****always ****get ****me ****through**

**The ****day ****and ****make ****it ****ok**

** I ****miss ****you****  
><strong>

**I've ****never ****felt ****this ****way ****before**

Rachel's shoulders shook as she sang and cried at the same time.

**Everything ****that ****I ****do ****reminds ****me ****of ****you**

**And ****the ****clothes ****you ****left, ****they ****lie ****on ****the ****floor**

Rachel clutched James' sweatshirt closer around her.

**And ****they ****smell ****just ****like ****you,**

**I ****love ****the ****things ****that ****you ****do****  
><strong>

**When ****you ****walk ****away**

**I ****count ****the ****steps ****that ****you ****take**

**Do ****you ****see ****how ****much ****I ****need ****you ****right ****now?****  
><strong>

**When ****you're ****gone**

**The ****pieces ****of ****my ****heart ****are ****missing ****you**

**And ****when ****you're ****gone**

**The ****face ****I ****came ****to ****know ****is ****missing ****too****  
><strong>

**And ****when ****you're ****gone**

**The ****words ****I ****need ****to ****hear ****to ****always ****get ****me ****through**

**The ****day ****and ****make ****it ****ok**

**I ****miss ****you****  
><strong>

**We ****were ****made ****for ****each ****other**

**Out ****here ****forever**

**I ****know ****we ****were, ****yeah****  
><strong>****

**And ****all ****I ****ever ****wanted ****was ****for ****you ****to ****know**

**Everything ****I'd ****do, ****I'd ****give ****my ****heart ****and ****soul**

**I ****can ****hardly ****breathe**

**I ****need ****to ****feel ****you ****here ****with ****me, ****yeah****  
><strong>

**When ****you're ****gone**

**The ****pieces ****of ****my ****heart ****are ****missing ****you**

**And ****when ****you're ****gone**

**The ****face ****I ****came ****to ****know ****is ****missing ****too****  
><strong>

Rachel pictured James' beautiful eyes and felt a stab of pain.

**And ****when ****you're ****gone**

**All ****the ****words ****I ****need ****to ****hear ****will ****always ****get ****me ****through**

**The ****day ****and ****make ****it ****ok**

**I ****miss ****you**

As the song came to an end, Rachel came back to the room and searched the faces of her glee clubbers. She squeezed her eyes shut and ran out of the room. Santana, Britney and Quinn immediately stood and ran after Rachel.

Shelby turned to face Kurt.

"Send that video to James," she said, standing to go find her daughter.

* * *

><p>All the way off in New York, James heard his computer give a ding. He didn't move. Ever since he'd left Lima, he'd been taking his meds in the highest dosage that his doctor would let him. With the haze, he didn't hurt as much.<p>

His dad stuck his head in the room.

"Check who that is," his dad said, tying his tie for a dinner with a client, nodding to the computer. James sighed and stood. He sat in the chair and clicked for the message to open. He pressed play and turned up the speaker, seeing that it was a video.

Three minutes later he sat back, feeling tears come down his own cheeks, his mind full of her beautiful face and the tears that he'd caused. He shut his eyes tight, seeing her run out of the room over and over in his head. His dad shouted that he was leaving. James went down to the kitchen and pulled a bottle out of the liquor cabinet. He went out onto the fire escape tipped back the bottle, taking a big gulp, just wanting to forget all of this.

* * *

><p>Song: When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne<p> 


	14. Yellow

Yellow

"Rachel, honey, since your father and I are going out of town, I need you to go to the Richard's house and pick up the cookbooks we lent Ms. Richards," Leroy said to Rachel, feeling somewhat guilty about making his daughter go back to that house. Seeing James' mom would also probably hurt.

* * *

><p>It had been two weeks. Rachel was always surrounded by friends. Nobody could get through. Shelby had finally given in and sent Rachel to Miss Pillsbury. It hadn't worked. She'd answered Emma's questions and done what she'd been told. Nothing could bring her out of her depression. She barely ate and drank. She slept little. She got up, went to school, did homework and hid out in her room and dance studio, singing.<p>

She'd picked her song to sing for Sectionals and had surprisingly asked Mike and Britney to choreograph a lyrical hip-hop dance for it, and they'd agreed. Everybody had expected her to pick a sad song, but she'd picked a fairly upbeat song that still managed to convey her emotional state of being alone. She'd asked Blaine to perform it with her. Whenever she practiced it with Blaine, the familiar joyful light that came into her eyes whenever she performed was there. It would disappear as soon as she remembered that James had left her.

* * *

><p>Rachel pulled her oversized cardigan around her and walked up James' driveway. She wore big things all the time now. It reminded her of wearing James' stuff when they'd been together. She pulled her cold hand out of her pocket and rang the doorbell. It was opened by James' mother.<p>

Kate Richards opened the door to Rachel and instantly put a smile on her face, even though on the inside she was shocked. Rachel had that same look James' did when he was at his worst.

"Hi Rachel," she said, stepping inside.

Rachel smiled at Kate, and felt a sudden ache in her chest. Kate had James' eyes.

"Hi, Mrs. Richards, I… um, my dad sent me over to get those cookbooks," she said, looking down at the ground.

"Oh right," she said. She went to the kitchen and motioned for Rachel to follow. She picked up the stack, trying not to register how different Rachel was from the confident, happy girl that had dated her son. She put the books on the counter and looked at Rachel.

"Are you okay, Rachel?" She asked, looking in Rachel's eyes. Rachel looked in her eyes for a long time, and then slowly shook her head no. Mrs. Richards, without thinking about it bent down and put her arms around Rachel's waist. Rachel froze, but then put her arms around Mrs. Richards's neck. She pulled back and weakly smiled at Mrs. Richards. Just as this happened, the front door opened and closed loudly. Rachel turned around just as James entered the kitchen.

Both stopped and stared.

"James?" Rachel whispered. Mrs. Richards cleared her throat.

"Uh, yes Rachel. James' father and I believed it best that he came back to Lima. He was um… getting into some trouble." Rachel looked at the floor. She quickly grabbed the books and walked quickly out of the house, but not before both mother and son saw the tears beginning to pour down Rachel's face.

Rachel got into her car, throwing the books in the back. Tears came down, not stopping. Rachel leaned on her steering wheel, shutting her eyes tight.

* * *

><p>Back in the kitchen, James' mom was glaring at him.<p>

"You are going to fix this," she said forcefully. His brow furrowed.

"Do not look at me like that. I know you love her. I just hugged her and I swear that girl has gotten tinier, and I didn't even think that was possible. I talked to Shelby. She said Rachel can't eat or sleep. She barely talks. Because you left…" Mrs. Richards trailed off, mad at her son. She took a deep breath and stepped to James, taking his hand.

"Honey, you never told me. Why did you leave Rachel?" she asked. James looked into his mother's eyes.

"I… I would never be enough for her," James said slowly, intense pain in his eyes. He pulled away quickly, running up to his room.

* * *

><p>The weeks passed slowly. James came back to school, and with it, glee. He and Rachel didn't talk. Sectionals had come.<p>

Rachel sat down next to Blaine on the bus. Kurt and Mercedes were driving up costumes in Kurt's car. Over the past few weeks, she and Blaine had grown close. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder, looking at James' dark head of hair in front of her.

Blaine looked over at Rachel's face. She looked sad. Just like usual. She had even more reason to be sad. On either side of him, James had Santana and Britney. They were fawning over him and he wasn't exactly pushing them away.

"Hey," he said, giving her a nudge. She sat up and looked at Blaine, pain clearly in her eyes.

"Don't focus on him," Blaine said. Rachel nodded with a sigh. Blaine had had this conversation with Rachel quite a few times in the past few weeks.

"We are going to go to Sectionals. We are going to win, and you are going to be the reason why… with a little help from me," Blaine said, smiling. Rachel gave a small smile back and nodded. She pulled out her iPod and offered an earbud to Blaine. For the rest of the ride she was careful to keep her eyes and thoughts away from James.

* * *

><p>Rachel blew on her coffee and took a sip, staring at nothing out the window of their waiting room. Everybody else was chatting nervously. Rachel, for once, didn't feel those exciting butterflies. She felt empty. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and recognized it as Mr. Shuester, without turning around.<p>

"Rachel. I know that these past few weeks have been hard for you and… I know, being a performer, you can transmit your emotions into your work. Before I turn in our setlist to the judges, would you be interested in a third number?" Mr. Shuester asked in a hushed voice. He felt terrible for asking Rachel, but he'd promised his kids that they would win this year.

"I…" Rachel said, about to tell Mr. Shuester no, when she spotted two shapes outside. It was Santana and James, having been sent to grab chocolate covered raisons for Lauren. She watched as Santana pulled James down to kiss her and quickly turned away from the window. She didn't see James awkwardly pull back and turn away from Santana to walk inside. She grabbed the paper in Mr. Shuester's hands and jotted down her song. He looked at it and gave a nod. She told him how she wanted to do it and he agreed.

Santana walked in, forcefully pulling James behind her. James and Rachel's eyes met. James quickly looked away, knowing she had seen. He felt his heart ache painfully at the look on Rachel's face.

Rachel watched as he looked away. She watched as he and Santana walked and sat down on the couch. Everybody was looking between the two, incredulously.

Rachel took a deep breath and went to get her costume on.

The costumes were wonderful. They were all represented the person wearing them, instead of all matching. Rachel put on hers. It was a pretty turquoise mini dress. She wore purple Converse hi-tops. A mike was clipped to the strap of the dress. Her hair was curled perfectly, just hitting the small of her back. Kurt smiled at her and she gave him a nod.

Rachel and Blaine stepped on the stage and their music began. Their dance was a lyrical hip-hop number that Britney and Mike were very proud of. Rachel and Blaine moved in perfect sync. Blaine began to sing, both he and Rachel continuing to dance.

_(Rachel, _**Blaine**_, **Both**)_

_Ohhhhh...  
><em>  
><strong>Once <strong>**upon ****a ****time ****somebody ****ran  
>Somebody <strong>**ran ****away ****saying ****fast ****as ****I ****can  
>I've <strong>**got ****to ****go... ****got ****to ****go**

**Once upon ****a ****time ****we ****fell ****apart  
>You're <strong>**holding ****in ****your ****hands ****the ****two h****alves ****of ****my ****heart  
>Ohhhhh, <strong>**ohhhhh!  
><strong>  
><em>Ohhhhh...<br>_  
><em>Once <em>_upon __a __time, __we __burn __bright  
>now <em>_all __we __ever __seem __to __do __is __fight  
>on <em>_and __on...  
>And <em>_on __and __on __and __on...  
><em>  
><em><strong>Once <strong>__**upon **__**a **__**time **__**on **__**the **__**same **__**side.  
>Once <strong>__**upon **__**a **__**time **__**on **__**the **__**same **__**side, **__**the **__**same **__**game  
><strong>And why'd you have to go, have to go and throw it all on my fame_

_I__could've __been __a __Princess, __You'd __be __a __King  
>Could've <em>_had __a __castle, __and __worn __a __ring  
>But <em>_no, __you __let __me __go  
><em>  
><em>I <em>_could've __been __a __Princess, __You'd __be __a __king  
>Could've <em>_had __a __castle, __and __worn __a __ring  
>But <em>_no, __you __let __me __go  
><em>  
><strong><em>And <em>_stole __my __star_**

**_La, __la, __la, __la, __la, __la, __la, __la  
>You <em>_stole __my __star_**

_**la, **__**la **__**la **__**la **__**la **__**laaaaaa  
><strong>_  
>Rachel and Blaine danced in the short break then resumed the song, moving all around the stage. The audience was clapping in time with the song, standing up.<p>

_**Oooooooh-oh **__**oh **__**oooooooh **__**oh **__**oh **__**oh **__**ohhhhhhhhh  
>Oooooooh-oh <strong>__**oh **__**oooooooh **__**oh **__**oh **__**oh **__**ohhhhhhhhh**_

_**Cause you really hurt me  
>No you really hurt me<br>Cause you really hurt me  
>No you really hurt me<br>Cause you really hurt me  
>Ooooooooh no you really hurt me<br>Cause you really hurt me  
>Ooooooooh no you really hurt me...<strong>_

Rachel and Blaine finished and everybody stood and cheered. Rachel hugged Blaine. They were joined by the rest of the group for Party Rock Anthem. After that, everybody walked off stage, leaving just Rachel. She walked to the front of the stage and was handed an acoustic guitar by a stage hand. Everybody was struck by how pretty the small girl was. She gave a slight smile to the audience and began to play. After a moment she began to sing.

_Look at the stars,  
>Look how they shine for you,<br>And everything you do,  
>Yeah, they were all yellow.<br>_

James' face filled her mind. He was smiling at her.

_I came along,  
>I wrote a song for you,<br>And all the things you do,  
>And it was called "Yellow".<br>So then I took my turn,  
>Oh what a thing to have done,<br>And it was all yellow  
><em>

The curtain came up in the back and the band played. Rachel handed down the guitar and got up and moved with the beat continuing the singing.

_Your skin,  
>Oh yeah your skin and bones,<br>Turn into something beautiful,  
>You know, you know I love you so,<br>You know I love you so.  
><em>

A look of pure love was on her face. The audience was in awe of the girl.

_I swam across,  
>I jumped across for you,<br>Oh what a thing to do.  
>Cos you were all yellow<br>_

_I drew a line,  
>I drew a line for you,<br>Oh what a thing to do,  
>And it was all yellow<br>_

_Your skin,  
>Oh yeah your skin and bones,<br>Turn into something beautiful,  
><em>

_And you know,  
>For you I'd bleed myself dry,<br>For you I'd bleed myself dry.  
><em>

Rachel got the people start to clap, a look of joy on her face as she relived all of her best memories with James in her mind.

_It's true,  
>Look how they shine for you,<br>Look how they shine for you,  
>Look how they shine for,<br>Look how they shine for you,  
>Look how they shine for you,<br>Look how they shine.  
><em>

_Look at the stars,  
>Look how they shine for you,<br>And all the things that you do. _

A soft smile came to Rachel's face as she finished. She smiled at the audience as they stood and cheered loudly, for a long time. Rachel curtsied and walked off stage.

She was immediately surrounded by glee members. She looked through bodies and saw James standing alone, Santana looming possessively over his shoulder. Rachel pulled away from the hugs and moved to James, not acknowledging Santana. She just looked at him for a minute.

"What do you want, Berry?" Santana asked, smirking. Still Rachel didn't take her eyes off James' face.

"I love you, James. That song was for you," Rachel said slowly. She gave James a sad smile. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw her mother approaching. She nodded her goodbyes to her fellow glee clubbers and walked over to her mother.

Shelby enveloped her daughter in a hug. Rachel had been spectacular. She handed Rachel a bouquet of flowers.

Only then did Rachel notice a man and a woman standing behind Shelby. Shelby remembered them as well.

"Rachel, I would like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Solomon. I think you would be very interested to talk with them.

"Coffee?" Mr. Solomon suggested. Rachel looked from her mother to the couple.

"Um, Of course. Just let me change and we can go," Rachel said, backing up. She walked quickly into the girls' changing room. She didn't know why, but this felt important. In the back of her mind, she was reliving over and over again the tiniest spark of joy she'd seen in James' eyes when she'd told him she loved him.

* * *

><p>Rachel sat back in the passenger seat, closing her eyes going over the past few hours in her head.<p>

She had gone to the Lima Bean with Shelby and Mr. and Mrs. Solomon. Apparently, they were huge in the Broadway world. They had both been on Broadway when they'd been younger. They had also worked on and directed many shows. They owned sixteen theaters across the U.S., all high profile ones that Rachel had heard of. They also owned many dance studios. They knew everybody there was to know in the business.

They'd asked Rachel to come to Chicago for a week and a half. They wanted to show her off to some people and also wanted to see for themselves what she could do. They'd been big supporters of Shelby when she'd been trying to get on Broadway and were interested to see what talent Rachel had inherited.

Rachel felt good about leaving for a while. She needed to get away from all the sadness of loosing James and rejuvenate herself. She needed to get Rachel Berry back. Then she would return to Lima and get the man she loved back where he should be: with her.

* * *

><p><strong>So glad to be back and writing. School has been running my life. I love this story and I hope you do too!<br>Tell me what you think!**

**Songs:**

**Princess of China by Coldplay  
>Yellow by Coldplay <strong>**  
><strong>


	15. Let Go

Let Go

Rachel walked the streets of Chicago, listening to Mrs. Solomon describe her experience playing Glinda in Wicked. She was fascinated.

Shelby watched her daughter out of the corner of her eye with a smile. Rachel had completely come alive these past three days in Chicago. She'd already charmed many adults that she'd been introduced to with her sparkling personality and people skills. Rachel had performed several times, each time more breathtaking than the last. Mr. and Mrs. Solomon had fallen in love with her, fawning on her every chance they got.

Looking at Rachel now, Shelby couldn't tell she'd been depressed. Rachel had been eating. She had color in her cheeks and her eyes were sparkling. Shelby had seen her talking flirtatiously with quite a few young men at a banquet they'd been invited to the previous evening, practically glowing in a floor length navy blue dress the whole evening, that made sure every male eye was on her and her figure.

Mrs. Solomon, Shelby and Rachel had been shopping all morning, into the afternoon. Mrs. Solomon had insisted on buying Rachel practically a whole new wardrobe. They'd just eaten a delicious lunch and Rachel was looking forward to going to one of the many dance studios that the Solomons owned in Chicago. She loved walking in the city, looking up at the great tall buildings, letting her coffee warm her hands in the cold November air.

Finally they reached the dance studio. Rachel went in and changed into dark green spandex, a t-shirt, and her new high tops. She'd started to learn some hip-hop and Mrs. Solomon had said she'd brought in one of her favorite choreographers to work with her. Rachel walked into the actual dance studio and stopped in her tracks.

"Matt?" she said. The figure that was dancing in the mirror turned. It was Matt, former member of New Directions. Rachel ran and gave him a hug which he returned with equal enthusiasm. Not known by the New Directions, the two had been very close. Rachel had been upset when he hadn't come back junior year without telling her why.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked. Matt smiled, having missed the excitable brunette. He plopped down on the floor and gestured for her to sit next to him. She did.

Rachel listened to him tell her the story. He told her how, over the summer, he'd been confronted by Finn, who'd apparently seem the two acting friendly toward each other and had felt jealous. He'd told Matt to back off. Then, not long after, he'd gotten a call from his godfather who was a business partner with Mr. Solomon. He'd asked Matt to live in Chicago. Matt went to school. He taught dance classes and choreographed shows. He also did some DJ-ing on the side.

After listening, Rachel was blown away. She stood up, held out a hand and helped him up. He started the music and she followed his lead.

Shelby watched her daughter from the window in the studio office. Rachel, against what people may have thought, was a terrific hip-hop dancer, knowing just how to get into that pocket. Mrs. Solomon was complementing Rachel's swag. Shelby laughed. Mrs. Solomon, for having the look of a polished woman, certainly knew her fair share of popular culture.

* * *

><p>Rachel hurried outside of her hotel, looking around for Matt. He'd asked her to come watch him DJ tonight. Rachel saw him and hurried over.<p>

Matt watched his old friend hurry toward him. After they'd finished dancing, they'd gone to the Starbucks on the corner and had caught up. Rachel had spilled everything about James, even about her depression. Matt held her in high respect for truly trying to fix herself.

Rachel arrived at the club, immediately digging the vibe of the place. Matt went to set up. Rachel found herself alone, but she didn't mind. She felt her phone buzz in her clutch and took a seat down at the bar, happy to wait for the music to begin, and soon it did. She peaked at her phone.

**Kurt: Look, I no u don't wanna hear this, but, Santana and James are um… kinda together, at the fball game afterparty, like ****together**.

Rachel sighed as she read the text. She set her phone down, pushing down the sadness that she felt. She looked up as a drink was set in front of her.

"It's from the guy over there," the bartender said. Rachel looked over and saw a young guy, probably twenty, smiling at her. She pushed down all thoughts of James and returned the smile, gesturing him to come. He stood and moved over to sit next to her.

Rachel had decided to have fun. She wasn't going to deny that she looked good. She wore a one shoulder with one long sleeve, dark pink mini-dress with matching wedges. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, emphasizing her collar bone.

Conversation flowed easily. The guy was very hot. Soon they got up and danced. It was true, Matt was very good at DJ-ing. Rachel moved through dance partners quickly. Rachel was careful not to drink too much, knowing how she got, but she drank enough to forget about what James and Santana could be doing. She was also careful never to let the dancing get to serious, which would lead to the exact thing she didn't want. She let herself dance the night away, dancing away her pain.

* * *

><p>Shelby watched as Rachel anxiously began tapping her feet as they neared Lima. From the backseat, Matt put a hand on her shoulder, also realizing how high-strung she was.<p>

Matt had decided to come back to Lima and live with his parents again, until he graduated, then he would go back and go to college, continuing his job part-time. The Solomons had also sent him to keep working with Rachel.

In the week and a half Rachel had spent in Chicago, she'd done what she'd wanted to do. She'd found herself again, learned more about and furthered her career, and had had fun doing it.

Rachel walked into school, feeling nervous. What if she walked in and saw Santana draped all over James? She squelched the thought down and opened the door, letting a confident feeling fill her up. She walked with her chin up. Soon she came to her locker.

Soon she was ambushed by Kurt, who enveloped her in a hug, with Blaine following. He was talking fast, saying how much he missed her.

"You look really good," he said, smiling at his friend who looked totally different from the sad girl who had left Lima. She wore a cropped leather jacket over a crocheted lace dress, with a tan belt around her small waist, with black heeled combat boots. Her makeup was sweet and her long hair was softly curled.

"Thanks," Rachel said with a smile, "So… um, what's up with James and… Santana," she said. Kurt's heart swelled at his friend's obvious pain.

"Santana says their dating. In reality she just drags James everywhere, and he's still too messed up about you to really care what happens." Rachel sighed and looked past Kurt so he wouldn't see just how much it hurt to know he was letting Santana do this.

Just then she saw Santana and James, at James' locker. She was all over him. Rachel immediately turned, calling over her shoulder that she would see them later. She went looking for Matt, she found him at his locker, talking to Mike, Puck and Sam. He saw her and motioned her over.

The rest of the day, Rachel was careful to avoid James. At glee she sat separate from him. It was slightly easier to deal with when Matt told her that Figgins wanted Matt and herself to do a number together at the next school assembly. He'd gotten a call from an anonymous donor, saying they would fund any and all expenses the glee club had for the year, as well as a big fat check for Figgins himself.

Rachel and Matt had the perfect number. They'd worked on it in Chicago. Rachel was going to show off her new dance skills to the school.

By hanging out with Matt, Rachel, in turn, was connecting with some of the jocks, who were seeming to actually like her now. Rachel wasn't bullied. There came an incident however, that same day in the cafeteria.

* * *

><p>Rachel took off her jacket and sat with Matt and some of his friends, listening to some beats that Matt had been working with on his laptops, and Kurt and Blaine also came to sit with them. Blaine had sat down, but before Kurt could, Azimio walked by and knocked Kurt's tray away. Blaine immediately moved to confront Azimio, but Rachel pushed him down, standing up. She pushed Kurt to take her seat. Azimio was watching her, somewhat warily.<p>

"Why?" Rachel asked, crossing her arms, glaring at Azimio.

"Why not? He's a homo and he just struts around here like he owns the place," Azimio said, shrugging his shoulders, looking to his friends on either side to back him up, they nodded and agreed. Rachel stared at Azimio incredulously. She rolled her eyes, stepped behind Matt, and reached over his shoulder to start an instrumental that was on his laptop. The music started, and Rachel smiled sweetly at Azimio.

She took a delicate step toward him, still smiling.

**Look ****inside  
>Look <strong>**inside ****your ****tiny ****mind  
>Now <strong>**look ****a ****bit ****harder  
>Cause <strong>**we're ****so ****uninspired, ****so ****sick ****and ****tired ****of ****all ****the ****hatred ****you ****harbor**

She sashayed around him, arms clasped behind her back.

**So you say  
>It's not okay to be gay<br>Well I think you're just evil  
>You're just some racist who can't tie my laces<br>Your point of view is medieval**

Rachel looked away with a shrug.

**Fuck you  
>Fuck <strong>**you ****very, ****very ****much  
>Cause <strong>**we ****hate ****what ****you ****do  
>And <strong>**we ****hate ****your ****whole ****crew  
>So <strong>**please ****don't ****stay ****in ****touch**

She came around and was right in front of him. She had an amused glint in her eyes. The whole room was laughing with her at Azimio.

**Fuck ****you  
>Fuck <strong>**you ****very, ****very ****much  
>Cause <strong>**your ****words ****don't ****translate  
>And <strong>**it's ****getting ****quite ****late  
>So <strong>**please ****don't ****stay ****in ****touch**

Rachel hopped up onto the table and crossed her legs daintily

**Do ****you ****get  
>Do <strong>**you ****get ****a ****little ****kick ****out ****of ****being ****slow ****minded?  
>You <strong>**want ****to ****be ****like ****your ****father  
>It's <strong>**approval ****you're ****after  
>Well <strong>**that's ****not ****how ****you ****find ****it**

Rachel shook her head and got up, and began to dance, smile growing all the while.

**Do****you  
>Do <strong>**you ****really ****enjoy ****living ****a ****life ****that's ****so ****hateful?  
>Cause <strong>**there's ****a ****hole ****where ****your ****soul ****should ****be  
>Your <strong>**losing ****control ****of ****it ****and ****it's ****really ****distasteful**

**Fuck you  
>Fuck <strong>**you ****very, ****very ****much  
>Cause <strong>**we ****hate ****what ****you ****do  
>And <strong>**we ****hate ****your ****whole ****crew  
>So <strong>**please ****don't ****stay ****in ****touch**

**Fuck you  
>Fuck you very, very much<br>Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late  
>So please don't stay in touch<br>**

Santana and Britney jumped up and began dancing with Rachel.**  
><strong>

**Fuck ****you, ****fuck ****you,****fuck ****you,  
>Fuck <strong>**you, ****fuck ****you, ****fuck ****you,  
>Fuck <strong>**you**

Rachel stepped till she was close to Azimio.

**You ****say, ****you ****think ****we ****need ****to ****go ****to ****war  
>Well <strong>**you're ****already ****in ****one,  
>Cause <strong>**its ****people ****like ****you  
>That <strong>**need ****to ****get ****slew  
>No <strong>**one ****wants ****your ****opinion**

**Fuck you  
>Fuck <strong>**you ****very, ****very ****much  
>Cause <strong>**we ****hate ****what ****you ****do  
>And <strong>**we ****hate ****your ****whole ****crew  
>So <strong>**please ****don't ****stay ****in ****touch**

The whole cafeteria jumped up and began to clap and dance. Azimio looked around, panicked.

**Fuck you  
>Fuck you very, very much<br>Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late  
>So please don't stay in touch<strong>

**Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you**  
><strong>Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you<strong>

As the music stopped Azimio, looked around for any form of support. Getting none, he walked out quickly, friends hurrying to keep up. As soon as he was gone, the cafeteria burst into cheers. Rachel smiled as Kurt gave her a huge hug and she received high fives from the other jocks at the table. Rachel looked over and saw James. He gave her a nod, smiling slightly. Rachel just looked at him, and then turned away with a sigh as Santana reclaimed his attention.

* * *

><p>Rachel took a deep breath in the dark, behind the curtain. She felt Matt's hand on her shoulder.<p>

"Ready?" he asked. Rachel whispered that she was in the dark. Matt took his position and the lights came up. Every male in the gym had an intake of breath. Rachel was lit up by a simple spotlight. She wore short tight dark purple shorts, black over-the-knee socks, cool metallic silver high tops and a loose white tank top.

She began to sing, a fierce expression on her face as she stood with feet apart, and fists clenched.

(**Rachel**, _Matt_)

****If you can see me, then you're probably a little too close  
>So you think you could love me, well you gotta be stronger than most<strong>  
><strong>Cause my ex didn't like it, didn't like it,<br>no my friends they don't like it, they don't like it  
>Somebody remind me<br>When's the right time, when's the right time to let go****

Matt stepped up and began his rap, while Rachel, still with her own spotlight, began her hip-hop routine. Nobody could take their eyes off Rachel. Rachel lived for these moments. She felt the beat pulsing through her.

__Uh, dear whoeva the fuck is listening,  
>Tell me of the pleasures of being a normal citizen<br>Cause all these fittins' and Vivians keeping me from fittin' in  
>Why do I feel safer on stage than in my own living room<br>My grandma say that if I leave my drink I shouldn't sip again  
>Ooh this tour has got me feeling tired like I'm itchin'<br>and uh even though it's physical differences and my silly feelings  
>that's why I feel so down even at the top of the?<em>_

Rachel began to sing again, dancing in perfect sink with Matt.

****If you can see me, then you're probably a little too close  
>So you think you could love me, well you gotta be stronger than most<strong>  
><strong>Cause my ex didn't like it, didn't like it,<br>no my friends they don't like it, they don't like it  
>Somebody remind me<br>When's the right time, when's the right time to let go  
><strong>  
><strong>

Rachel went back to dancing. The school was on its feet, clapping, unable to look away from the two on stage.

_Uh, dear whoeva the fuck is witnessin',  
>Disturbing London independent black businessman<br>Based on the work and the effort I'm gunna give this year  
>Everybody's getting the presents they want for Christmas, yeah<br>Life is only ninety nine winters  
>So I'm tryna bond with daddy even though I don't like dinners<br>Don't be confused by my image, I'm no fuckin' public pin-up_

_But my heart won't let me say no to a picture _

**If you can see me, then you're probably a little too close  
>So you think you could love me, well you gotta be stronger than most<strong>  
><strong>Cause my ex didn't like it, didn't like it,<br>no my friends they don't like it, they don't like it  
>Somebody remind me<br>When's the right time, when's the right time to let go**

_Uh, dear whoeva the fuck is, Fuck it, this is discovery hate it or love it  
>I'm now officially the property of the public since licensing my album<br>And signing a deal to be published  
>But none of these songs are written for me, nor am I a puppet<br>Journalists come for interviews but don't stay on the subject  
>Yeah, no, yea - are we done yet?<br>Questions you've asked me hundreds, now can you grant me some rest  
>Because I'm tired of it, I'm living out my dream, and I'm tired from it<br>If music needed saving, I'd die for it  
>Music's where my heart is, I'm alive for it<br>I promise __  
><em>

****If I'm never liked my heart might break  
>Here in the dark, yeah, we'll be safe<br>I don't care, no looking back  
>I've never been, never been, this far from home<strong>**

****If you can see me, then you're probably a little too close  
>So you think you could love me, well you gotta be stronger than most<strong>  
><strong>Cause my ex didn't like it, didn't like it,<br>no my friends they don't like it, they don't like it  
>Somebody remind me<br>When's the right time, when's the right time to let go**  
><strong>

The music faded out, with Rachel and Matt facing each other, heads down in the middle of the stage. The school went crazy.

* * *

><p>Rachel sighed as she sat down at the Lima Bean. She pulled out her laptop and started working on her English paper that she was behind on. Just then somebody sat down across from her. Rachel looked up, closing her laptop.<p>

"Um, hi," she said, unable to say anything else. Sitting across from her was the hottest guy she'd seen in a while.  
>"Hi. I'm Sebastian," the boy said, flashing a smile with incredibly white teeth, holding out his hand for her to shake.<p>

"Rachel," she said, raising an eyebrow at his forward tone. She reached out her hand to shake his, and he held it a second too long, not breaking eye contact.

"I'm new here," Sebastian said, "but I have to say, you are an amazing performer."

"So I've been told," Rachel said, smiling back. Just then, Sebastian's order was called. He stood and walked to get it. Rachel couldn't help herself. She let her eyes travel up and down his lean, but muscular body.

He looked back, smirk on his face, and gave her a nod. He left the coffee shop and climbed into a black Mustang. Rachel let out a breath. She hadn't been attracted to anybody since James had left.

Only then did she realize that he'd written his number on a napkin and left it with her. It also said, "Breadstix, Friday 8? Text me". Rachel sighed, but put the napkin in her purse. She resolved to talk to James first. She'd promised herself that she would try to get him back. She threw herself back into the English paper with renewed vigor, unable to get Sebastian's cocky smile out of her head.

* * *

><p>Songs:<p>

Fuck You- Lily Allen  
>Let Go- Tinie Tempah<p> 


	16. Criminal

**Yay! I'm so happy with the response this is getting! Thank you so much to everybody that reviewed! Much love to you all! Just to clear things up, my Sebastian, in this story, isn't gay. Just FYI. Soooo… if you have any suggestions for me, feel free to tell me. Please Review!**

**Songs:**

**Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic**

**Criminal - Britney Spears **

* * *

><p>Criminal<p>

Rachel turned her key into the lock of her house and walked in, yawning. She put her stuff down and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. She stopped when she saw Shelby standing there. Shelby took in her daughter's messy hair and chapped lips.

"Where have you been?" Shelby asked, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. Rachel sighed softy, remembering.

_Rachel had gone to James immediately the next morning, to find out where they stood. She wasn't going to deny the fact that Sebastian had attracted her. But she knew that she still loved James and she needed to know how he felt._

_She knew he usually played his guitar in the auditorium before school, so that's where she went. She came to the doorway at the top of the auditorium, silently opening the door._

_James was finishing his song, sitting with his legs dangling off center stage. Rachel slowly walked down the aisle and James saw her. _

_"Hey," Rachel said, coming in front of him. _

_"Hi," he said, not letting any emotion into the greeting._

_"James… I," Rachel started, unsure of what to say. _

_"Rachel, save it. I know what you're going to say," James said, not meeting her eyes. _

_"You do?"_

_"Yes. You're going to ask me to stay away from you so that you can go on and live your life the way you want to, with all the guys that that entails," James said, a scowl on his face. _

_"Actually no. That wasn't what I was going to sa…"_

_"Don't lie to me Rachel," James said, jumping up and walking off stage right. Rachel watched him go, hot, angry tears in her eyes. _

_"Hey," she heard behind her. Rachel jumped and spun around to see Sebastian, who looked pleased that he had snuck up on her. _

_"Um, hi," Rachel said shakily. Then Sebastian saw the tears in her eyes. He took a step toward her. _

_"I heard what that guy said to you. I would forget about him if I were you. He obviously isn't worthy of your time," Sebastian said, a kind smile on his lips. _

_Rachel let out a borderline hysterical laugh and sank down into a seat. _

_"And you are worth my time?" she said after a moment, looking up at Sebastian. He grinned confidently and sank down into the seat next to her. _

_"Yes," he said, looking at her earnestly. Rachel felt a blush come to her cheeks. She looked down into her lap, at her hands. _

_"So, Breadstix?" he asked. Rachel thought for a moment. She looked at him and smiled slowly, nodding. _

* * *

><p><em>Sebastian had picked her up at eight. He wore a simple gray shirt that hugged him, showing a lean muscular chest, and jeans. He'd called her beautiful when she'd opened the door. She'd worn a long loose, floaty white shirt with a cropped leather jacket on top over black leggings and black ankle platform boots. She'd pulled her hair back into a ponytail. <em>

_At the restaurant, Sebastian was amazing. Conversation with him was as easy as breathing. He was great at telling stories, but was also a great listener. He told her of how he'd lived all over. His parents were successful photographers and their work took them all over the world. Rachel also often caught him admiring her and her face. When she'd taken off her jacket, she knew he'd liked the sight of her tanned shoulders, easy to admire with the thin straps of her shirt. He'd smiled to himself when he'd found out about her being a vegan. Rachel had asked why and he just shook his head. _

_After he'd paid the check, he'd asked her, with no inhibitions, to come back to his apartment, saying he'd made dessert. Rachel had known he was going to do something like this, and the whole dinner she'd been contemplating what she would do when he actually asked her. She smiled and said that she'd like to go with him. _

_They climbed into his black Mustang. He was a very good driver, something that didn't fail to turn her on. _

_They'd gotten back to his apartment. Well, technically it wasn't "his"; his parents owned it. But they were rarely there, and Sebastian had made it his own. It was one big room, with a bedroom and bathroom off to the side. The big room had a kitchen, a big TV with couches around it and even a corner that had a treadmill and a full set of weights. _

_Sebastian hadn't been lying about the dessert. He'd made a vegan tiramisu. Apparently his grandmother had been a vegan and he'd gotten the recipe. It had been delicious. While he was washing the dishes, Rachel had walked over to a wall. It had tons of records on the shelf. They weren't arranged in any special way, but he had countless styles and artists. He also had tons of CDs. She complimented him on his collection with a laugh. He'd smiled and said they were arranged by how much he liked them, from left to right, starting at the top. She pulled off his favorite, not recognizing it. She gently placed it on his record player. Soft, sweet tones came on and filled the apartment, on the speakers that were all over. Then a voice began to sing. She felt Sebastian quietly walking behind her. _

_He pressed his lips to her shoulder and Rachel closed her eyes taking a slow intake of breath. _

_"Is that you?" she whispered, referring to the beautiful voice coming over the speakers. _

_"Yes," he said. Rachel turned around, so that she was inches away from his face. Rachel moved to kiss him, just as he moved to do the same. The kiss was electric. Rachel pressed herself closer to him putting her arms around his neck. His lips moved to her neck. Gripping his hair, Rachel let out a moan. She ground her hips against his. _

_Sebastian slowly pulled away from her neck. He looked her in the eyes, a question clearly there. His own eyes were dark with desire. In response, Rachel pressed her lips against his and pushed him towards the bedroom. _

* * *

><p><em>The next morning, Rachel woke up, blinking at the sunlight streaming through the window. It took a second to remember what had happened. Then it all came rushing back. Everything had been so raw and physical. It was something that was new, and she liked it. She slowly tried to untangle herself from Sebastian without waking him. That didn't work. He opened her eyes and smiled at her, moving so that she could get out. <em>

_"Rachel Berry, you are amazing," he said, as he sat up. Rachel smiled, shaking her head. She pulled on her bra and underwear, followed by her clothes. _

_Then she turned to Sebastian, who was staring at the ceiling, half asleep. She climbed on the bed and kissed him. She pulled back and smiled at him. He smiled back and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He pulled on his own clothes._

_"I'll drive you home," he said, running a hand through his hair. Rachel grabbed his hand and the two walked out into the sunshine. _

* * *

><p>Remembering everything, Rachel came back to the present. Shelby was waiting. Getting no response she said,<p>

"Is it that boy I saw you talking to in the auditorium yesterday?" Shelby asked. Rachel nodded.

"Rachel, please be careful. That boy looks like a player," She said stepping towards her daughter.

"I know," Rachel said, looking her mother in the eye, "but that's why I like him." It was true. She liked how this wasn't as serious as it'd been with James and now all she wanted was to have something that _wasn't_ so serious. Shelby studied her daughter.

"Alright," she said, still not convinced. She asked Rachel if she'd want to go shopping with her and Rachel accepted, running upstairs to take a quick shower. She knew that Shelby didn't want this for her, but Rachel knew that she wanted Sebastian.

* * *

><p>The next Monday morning, the glee kids were talking amongst themselves while Mr. Shuester talked with Shelby. Just then, Sebastian walked in, hands in pockets, looking as if he had all of the time in the world. The talking stopped and Mr. Shuester turned to Sebastian.<p>

"Hi, can I help you?" he asked.

"Yes. I want to audition for New Directions," Sebastian said, cocky grin on his face, looking straight at Rachel. She felt James' eyes going from her face to Sebastian's. Sebastian looked hot, as usual. Mr. Shuester gestured for him to take the floor. Sebastian told the band what he wanted. He slipped off his hoodie, with a black t-shirt underneath over dark gray jeans. He gave Rachel a grin and nodded at the band, which began.

****Well hell sees her shadow in my backseat  
>And her friends are standing right in front of me<br>World wide from the center burning turkey  
>Open up said Everybody loves me<strong>**

He closed his eyes as he went into his falsetto

**And you don't have to make a sound  
>Cause they got what you need<br>Oh Oh Oh Oh**

God love all the people that have warned you  
>God love all your sentimental virtue<br>Eight balls with the takers that'll make you  
>Lay cards with the lovers that'll hate you<p>

Cause you don't have to make a sound  
>They got what you need<br>What you need  
>Like you say<p>

He motioned for the club to get up. They did; everybody dancing around and singing.

**Oh my!  
>Feels just like I don't try<br>Looks so good i might die  
>All i know is everybody loves me<br>Get down,  
>Swaying to my own sound<br>Flashes in my face now  
>All i know is everybody loves me<br>Everybody loves me**

Well I  
>Play the music don't stop till i turn gray<br>Stars forever like Don Suzan never fade,  
>He had a beautiful child, named her Desiree<br>Hope I'll remember the good things that i'll never made

Cause you don't have to make a sound  
>They got what you need<br>Like you say

He came over and danced with Rachel, both with smiles on their faces, much to the interest of the rest of the club.

****Oh my!  
>Feels just like I don't try<br>Looks so good i might die  
>All i know is everybody loves me<br>Get down,  
>Swaying to my own sound<br>Flashes in my face now  
>All i know is everybody loves me<br>Everybody loves me  
>Everybody<br>Everybody  
>Oh<br>Everybody  
>Everybody<strong>**

Sebastian fell back so that he was laying down across the empty chairs.

**Don't need my health  
>Got my name and got my wealth I<br>Stare at the sun  
>Just for kicks all by myself I<br>Lose track of time  
>So I might be past my prime<br>But  
>I'm feeling oh so good<strong>

He jumped and sang the next part as loud as he could.

**YEAH!**

Oh my!  
>Feels just like I don't try<br>Looks so good i might die  
>All i know is everybody loves me<br>Get down,  
>Swaying to my own sound<br>Flashes in my face now  
>All i know is everybody loves me<br>Everybody loves me!  
>Don't you know you wanna<br>Everybody  
>Everybody<br>Everybody  
>WHOOOOA! YEAH!<p>

The whole club began clapping, minus Shelby and James.

Rachel saw her mother looking at her. She gave a small shrug and turned back to Sebastian as he came to hug her. Mr. Shuester was looking as if he'd won the lottery. James looked like he wanted to murder Sebastian. Rachel shut her eyes, sighed and grabbed her books, thankful that the bell had rung.

Rachel stood in the middle of the dance studio.

"Hit it," she called to Matt, who was off to the side in the sound booth. The music started and Rachel let herself let go and feel the song and the music.

**He is a hustler, he's no good at all  
>He is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum<br>He lies, he bluffs, he's unreliable  
>He is a sucker with a gun, gun, gun, gun<br>I know you told me I should stay away  
>I know you said he's just a dog astray<br>He is a bad boy with a tainted heart  
>And even I know this ain't smart<strong>

She let herself move, letting the music move her.

**But mama I'm in love with a criminal  
>And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical<br>Mama please don't cry, I will be alright  
>All reason aside I just can't deny, I love the guy<strong>

Rachel had to smile at Shelby coming to the door of the studio and stepping in. Rachel sang to her mother. Shelby stopped and listened.

**He is a villain by the devil's law  
>He is a killer just for fun, fun, fun, fun<br>That man's a snitch and unpredictable  
>He's got no conscience, he got none, none, none, none<br>A-All I know, should let go, but no  
>'Cause he is a bad boy with a tainted heart<br>And even I know this ain't smart**

Rachel knew her mother was listening. She focused more on her dancing, moving naturally and in the "pocket" as Shelby herself had taught her.

**But mama I'm in love with a criminal  
>And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical<br>Mama please don't cry, I will be alright  
>All reason aside I just can't deny, I love the guy<strong>

And he's got my name  
>Tattooed on his arm<br>His lucky charm  
>So I guess it's OK<br>He's with me  
>And I hear people talk (people talk)<br>Try to make remarks  
>Keep us apart<br>But I don't even hear  
>I don't care<p>

'Cause mama I'm in love with a criminal  
>And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical<br>Mama please don't cry, I will be alright  
>All reason aside I just can't deny, I love the guy<p>

Mama I'm in love with a criminal  
>(All I know, should let go)<br>And this type of love isn't rational,  
>(But no)<br>It's physical

(All I know)  
>Mama please don't cry, I will be alright<br>(Should have let go)  
>All reason aside<br>(But no)  
>I just can't deny, I love the guy<p>

Rachel came to a stop, right in front of her mother. Shelby held her daughters gaze, then gave a slight nod.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Next time I'm planning on making it from James' point of view, and he's going to get some help from the rest of the glee guys. <strong>

**REVIEW!**


	17. I Just Wanna Run

I Just Wanna Run

Puck looked over at James. The dude was benching about seventy-five more pounds than he usually did. He shirt was practically soaked through with sweat. Puck elbowed Mike and gestured to James.

"Dude, we gotta do something," he said, shaking his head incredulously. Mike agreed and Matt and Sam came over. They were at workouts for basketball. They waited until James had finished and showered. They'd walked over.

"Dude, you alright?" Matt said. James let out a quick incredulous chuckle.

"No, man," he said, hoisting his gym bag on his shoulder.

Just then Finn walked up, Artie at his side.

"Hey guys, wanna go jam out in the glee room? Just for the hell of it?" he asked, hands in pockets. The guys all agreed and walked into the school, through the dark empty hallways.

"Hudson, you're a genius," Puck said to Finn, with James and the rest of the guys ahead of them.

"Um… okay," Finn said.

They walked in. Finn sat down at the drums. Artie picked up the base. Puck and James both grabbed electric guitars. Matt went to the keyboard. Mike was cool with just dancing.

"Richards, you sing," Matt said, big headphones on, one on his ear, one off. James thought for a second and then began to play, singing with his eyes closed.

**I just wanna run, hide it away,  
>Run because they're chasing me down,<br>I just wanna run, throw it away,  
>Run before they're finding me out,<br>I just wanna run!  
><strong>  
>Then, recognizing the song, the guys joined in, all playing.<p>

**I just wanna run,  
>I'm out here all alone,<br>I try to call your house,  
>Can't reach you on the phone,<br>I'll gather up the nerve,  
>I'm packing up my bag,<br>It's more than you deserve,  
>Don't treat me like a drag,<br>**  
><strong>I'm feelin' like I keep on talking,<br>I'm repeating,  
>Myself, my words, lost all meaning,<br>I keep talking**,  
><strong>I repeat myself...<strong>

Mike was dancing along as the guys all rocked out.

**_I just wanna run, hide it away,  
>Run because they're chasing me down,<br>I just wanna run, throw it away,  
>Run before they're finding me out,<em>**_  
><em>**I just wanna run** (_run, run, run_)  
><strong>I just wanna run<strong> (_run, run, run_)

**Like a game of chess,  
>I predict your move,<br>_I think I know you better,  
>Better than you do,<br>_  
>I'm sick of feeling cheap,<br>Cheated and abused,**

James couldn't think of anybody but Rachel as he sang the next part.

**_Sick of losing sleep,  
>Thinking about you,<em>**

******I'm feelin' like I keep on talking,  
>I'm repeating,<br>Myself, my words, lost all meaning,  
>I keep talking,<br>I repeat myself...  
><strong>  
><strong><em>I just wanna run, hide it away,<br>Run because they're chasing me down,  
>I just wanna run, throw it away,<br>Run before they're finding me out,_**  
><strong>I just wanna run<strong> (_run, run, run_)  
><strong>I just wanna run<strong> (_run, run, run_)  
><strong>Throw it away!<br>**  
>Puck played the next part, James focusing on nothing but the singing<p>

**I just wanna run, hide it away,**  
><strong>Run because they're chasing me down,<strong>  
><strong>I just wanna run, throw it away,<strong>  
><strong>Run before they're finding me out (out)<strong>

Puck and Finn played the small break, both getting into it.

**I just wanna run, hide it away,  
>Run because they're chasing me down,<br>I just wanna run, throw it away,  
>Run before they're finding me out,<br>_I just wanna run,  
>I just wanna run,<br>_I just wanna run**

James sat down on the first platform, taking off the guitar and setting it across two chairs. He looked at the questioning faces looking at him.

"Look. I went to New York, totally out of it. I got in with my old friends again, and for a while it was as good as it could be, given the circumstances. One night, though, we were out partying and my buddy Ethan blacked out he was so drunk. In the end, we decided to just go home and get him in bed.

We got back to my house and Ethan started sweating a lot and hyperventilating. I knew he needed to go to the hospital. So me and Jonah- Ethan's boyfriend- carried him out to my dads car. I drove like a maniac, but New York traffic sucks. We finally got to the hospital and handed him off to the doctors. Everybody joined us after that, including parents. I had to hold Jonah the whole night. He wouldn't stop crying and he's so little…" James trailed off, tears in his eyes. He took a deep breath and continued.

"I wanted to puke when the doctor came out and said Ethan was in a coma. Jonah actually did puke, and I spent the night in the bathroom with him," James stopped. Tears falling, hands in fists. After a long pause, he looked up again.

"I didn't want to come back. My parents thought that that type of environment didn't mix well with my depression. So they practically yanked me out," James said, looking mad.

"Jonah hasn't texted me back or returned my calls. Everybody says he just stays at the hospital, either crying or staring off into space," James said, closing his eyes and just sitting. Nobody moved.

The guys looked as the felt movement at the door. Rachel slowly walked in, obviously had been in the school's dance studio, since she had on a leotard and leggings on under her sweatshirt, with her dance heels. The look on her face showed that she'd heard everything; she had tears falling silently. She dropped her bag and walked over to James.

James wasn't expecting, tiny warm arms to go around his shoulders. He smelled that familiar warm scent, and involuntarily buried his face into her shoulder. The guys all looked at each other and silently left the two alone.

On the way out, Sebastian walked up to the door, obviously looking for Rachel.

"Dude, stay out of there," Puck said, daring Sebastian with his eyes to go in.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked out of the glee room a half and hour later. Sebastian was sitting against the lockers, and he stood when she came out.<p>

"Rachel. I need to talk to you," he said.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Rachel said, referring to his having to wait.

"Not about that," he said with a smile. Rachel raised and eyebrow.

"I got a call from my parents and they want me to go to Africa with them, to help them with pictures. I'm going to go," he said, smiling. Rachel nodded.

"I'll miss you," she said.

"Yeah. I have a feeling you'll get over it. Don't lie to yourself, Rachel. We all know that James is the one for you and even though you had good times with me, I know you were thinking about him. I don't know what he did to you, but you need to forgive him," he said. Rachel looked at him for a moment and slowly nodded.

"Bye," he said smiling.

"See you. Send me some of your pictures," Rachel said. He nodded and walked off. Rachel turned around and saw James standing at the door. He was searching her face. Rachel walked over to James, pulling out her phone. She grabbed his hand and pulled him along with her. She dialed her fathers number first, then Mrs. Richards', making it a three way call. James got into the passenger seat of the car, watching in awe as Rachel talked to the parents, while driving. Soon she hung up.

"How did you get them to agree to let us fly to New York?" he asked.

"Oh, your mom loves me. And my dads understand," she said with a shrug.

"Don't you need to get stuff from home?" he asked.

"Nope, I have a key to Shelby's apartment. And I assume you have stuff at your dads," she said, with a smile, "and I like to go everywhere with a big heavy purse full of stuff," she said, nodding to her purse in the backseat, laughing. James smiled back, he'd had to hold that purse, numerous times, and he knew that she basically brought her room with her, everywhere.

They got to the airport and Rachel used her phone for the boarding passes, that her fathers had gotten with their connections. Rachel quickly ducked into the bathroom and changed into the clothes that she had in her dance bag. A long grey sweater, black leggings and tall tan Uggs.

They went through security quickly. They got on the plane, first class. Rachel sat and pulled out her iPod, offering an earbud to James, who took it.

James sighed as he settled in. He looked to his right and saw Rachel had fallen asleep. Her head was slowly drifting towards his shoulder, and then it rested on it. Rachel, in her sleep, snuggled in to him, James put an arm around her shoulder. He shook his head when the food lady came by, but accepted a blanket which he draped around her shoulder. Doing so he realized that she had been writing in a diary that had fallen into his lap. He didn't mean to read it, but his eyes went to the line.

"Everybody thinks I'm okay" he quickly shut it, not wanting to invade her privacy, He looked down at her. Behind the concealer, he saw black circles under her eyes. He put his head back against the seat, letting Bruno Mars fill his mind from Rachel's iPod.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke up as she was shaken awake by James.<p>

"Hey, we're here," he said, smiling at her. She smiled back and put her shoes back on, packing up her bag.

They took a taxi to Shelby's where Rachel dropped off her stuff, bringing a smaller purse.

"Do you wanna go to the hospital?" she asked, checking her watch. It was seven thirty. James nodded, and Rachel took his hand.

They walked in and found out what room that he was in. Rachel let James lead her, stopping in the door frame of the room when they got their. It was a nice hospital. The room was well furnished and wasn't all white. Instead the walls were gold and the chairs were dark leather. The machines were all tucked away or carefully disguised. A guy lay on the bed. He had dark blond hair and a deep tan, like a surfer. A small kid with bright red hair sat at his side in a comfy chair. He looked up.

"James?" he whispered. James walked over and hugged the boy. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week.

Rachel felt her heart give a squeeze. Like James had said, the boy was very tiny. He was taller than Rachel but only just. His red curls were messy and his clothes were wrinkled. She had met Ethan over the summer, but Jonah had been in England on vacation with his parents.

"How is he?" James said, pulling back.

"Oh it's great! Earlier today he squeezed my hand. It was talking to him, saying that if he could hear me then he should squeeze my hand and he did. The doctors said that that's good and that he should be awake by tomorrow," Jonah said quickly, practically bouncing. He looked happy. He looked over James' shoulder and saw Rachel, who smiled at him.

"Are you Rachel?" he asked, dark green eyes widening. Rachel walked towards him, nodding.

"It's great to finally meet you?" he said, looking at James curiously. Last time he'd seen James, he'd been nursing a broken heart because of Rachel. James mouthed "later". This went unnoticed by Rachel, whose attention had gone to Ethan. She remembered Ethan. He was usually the life of the party.

"Have you had dinner?" James asked. Jonah shook his head. Rachel looked up.

"Why don't you guys go get food?" Rachel said. Jonah started to decline, but Rachel interrupted.

"No, you go ahead. If anything happens I will call James okay?" she said gently. Jonah opened his mouth to argue, but he sighed and agreed. James gave Rachel a smile and walked out with Jonah. She settled down in Jonah's chair to wait.

* * *

><p>James took Jonah to a small Mexican place two blocks away. They sat down and ordered drinks.<p>

"So, Rachel?" Jonah asked. James sighed, smiling.

"I don't know. I love her. But what I did last month, I don't think she can see past it. As soon as I got back, she left for Chicago with Shelby. She had a great time and came back, seemingly better. She met this dude Sebastian, and I'm pretty sure they had sex. But now he's gone and I'm left with a Rachel, who is slowly slipping back to the way she was after I left, alone and empty, like me," James said, slightly out of breath. Their drinks were sat in front of them. Jonah waited patiently for their orders to be taken. As soon as the waitress was gone he leaned forward.

"Are you stupid?" he asked, with a serious face.

"No," James said, confused.

"You're sad because you broke up. You love her. She's obviously sad still, and loves you. Forgive each other and move on," Jonah said, getting loud. He grinned sheepishly as James raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," he said, with a shrug.

"Nah, you're right. I just wish I knew how she felt," he said.

"Ask her," Jonah said simply. James nodded and just then the food was brought out. James found it amazing how much food that little Jonah could put away. James lost count of the tacos that Jonah went through. Then he ordered the places' famous churros for dessert.

James handed his credit card to the waitress when she came with the bill, shaking his head and smiling at his friend. The began to walked back, and James picked up a coffee for Rachel.

They got to Ethan's floor and stopped. Rachel was standing among doctors. James couldn't help the smile on his face. Rachel was in AP anatomy and biology at school and had grown up with an uncle who was a doctor. She was going over charts with them and the doctors were looking at her with an immense respect. Soon they finished and Rachel saw them and walked over, gratefully taking the coffee from James.

"He should be awake about mid-morning tomorrow," she said confidently. Jonah smiled back and walked with Rachel back to the room, James trailing behind, smiling to himself.

* * *

><p>It was ten o' clock when James saw Jonah let out a nod. So did Rachel.<p>

A half and hour later, James and Rachel's combined efforts had persuaded Jonah to go and stay the night at James' house, to actually sleep in a bed, but only on the condition that Rachel stay at the hospital, to which she'd readily agreed.

"I'll go get a cab," he said huffily, carrying his stuff out of the room. Rachel laughed as soon as he was gone.

"If that's not love, then I don't know what is," she said, shaking her head.

"Rachel?" James asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still love me?" he asked.

"Yes," Rachel answered after a moment. She watched as he smiled.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said, walking out.

"Bye," Rachel said softly, once he was out of earshot.

* * *

><p><strong>Song- I Just Wanna Run - The Downtown Fiction<strong>


	18. Haunted

Haunted

Rachel opened her eyes slowly, at the sunlight streaming in the hospital room. She moaned as she stretched her sore muscles from sleeping in the less than comfortable chair. She looked over at the hospital bed. Ethan had his eyes open and was watching her.

"Hi Rachel. Break any hearts lately?" he asked. He was smiling, as if waking up in the hospital was a normal everyday occurrence, but behind the smile, Rachel could see he was pissed at her for hurting his friend.

"What did James say?" she asked, sitting up.

"James said probably five words total before I got hammered and ended up here. He was wrapped up in his own pain. You could see it in his eyes. We all knew that he was walking on sunshine with you. The only thing that could have made him that depressed was you leaving him. So what was it? Left him for another guy? Dumped him because he wasn't enough?" he asked, a scowl growing on his face. The whole time he was talking, Rachel felt tears well up. She would never do any of those things.

"I can't… imagine… ever doing that to him," Rachel said, tears slowly falling, "I love James and…"

"Yeah, I heard that last night, and figured you were saying that just so he wouldn't be as upset," Ethan said, seeing the pain etched on her face.

"An ex of mine talked to James to try to sabotage out relationship. He told James that I was flighty. He said that I would leave him behind. James believed him and decided to leave. He hadn't been taking his pills and wasn't… in a good place," Rachel said, looking utterly deflated by the end of her explanation.

"So you blame yourself?" Ethan asked, looking thoughtful.

"It is my fault. I wasn't focused on him as I should've been. I was dancing with my friends. That night… everything felt perfect. I was with everybody that I loved and… I was oblivious to how he felt, and if I hadn't been so stupid, we'd still be together and…" Rachel stopped, sobs shaking her body.

"Hey," Rachel looked up; Ethan had gotten out of bed speedily and was kneeling in front of her, as if he hadn't even been in a coma. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," he said earnestly.

"It's alright, you just care about him," Rachel said, smiling through her tears.

"I think you should go to him. Kiss him. Take him back to Lima. I've known James since peewee hockey when we were three. He is at his happiest when he feels loved," Ethan said, a kind look on his face.

Just then the nurse stuck her head in the room and stopped in surprise at the empty bed and the now standing Ethan, who looked very much conscious.

Rachel looked at Ethan.

"Go," he whispered. Rachel nodded and hurried out, hearing him beginning to argue for his release.

* * *

><p>Rachel pulled up to the apartment that James lived in. She handed a twenty to the taxi driver and got out. The place seemed as if it was from a dream from long ago. The doorman gave her a nod. Rachel saw him smile, obviously he recognized her from the summer. He opened the door. Rachel returned his smile and stepped into the warm inviting lobby, heading the elevator. She pressed the button for the seventh floor.<p>

Rachel closed her eyes. She felt her long sleepless night settle up her. She opened her eyes and took the sight of herself in the reflective metal of the elevator. She still wore the sweater, leggings and uggs. Her hair was in a messy side braid and she was pretty sure she had black circles under her eyes. She didn't care. She wanted to see James. She wanted to kiss him and tell him she'd never leave his side again.

She rang the bell. Stepping back, breathing fast with nervous anticipation, she waited.

The door was opened by Mr. Richards.

"Rachel," he said, a smile spreading across his face. He greeted her and stepped aside, motioning her inside.

"It's wonderful to see you," he said.

"It's great to see you too," Rachel said sincerely. Mr. Richards was exactly as she imagined James in twenty years. He was tall, lean, muscular, just like James. The only difference was his storm gray eyes that were rimmed with laugh lines that Rachel loved.

"James and Jonah went to breakfast and were going to go to the hospital after that. I'm sure James will be back soon," Mr. Richard's said, leading Rachel to the kitchen. Rachel followed. She'd expected as much.

She got up on a stool and talked with Mr. Richards for a while, asking about his work and making other small talk.

Soon however he got a call on his phone, calling him into work for an emergency. He told Rachel to stay and hang out until James got back.

She wandered around the house, memories of the summer coming back. They'd been here a lot. She came to his bedroom. She remembered that night, after the talent show when she'd had her first time.

She lay down on the bed. She missed him so much.

* * *

><p>Rachel sat up. Somebody had put a blanket over her. It was dark outside. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, sitting up. It was ten at night. She quickly got off the bed, ignoring the head rush and running out to the living room. James' dad was sitting there.<p>

"Hi Rachel, I was going to wake you up but you looked so tired. James texted that he was going out with some friends at about noon," Mr. Richards said. Rachel slowly absorbed this. Why hadn't he come to meet her?

Mr. Richards saw the internal conflict going on in Rachel and gave her the address to where James was.

Rachel walked into the club. It had a laid back vibe and she felt out of place among the cool, well-dressed college kids. She spotted James in the corner and began walking towards him. Just as she was about to call his name for him to turn around, her path was blocked by a tall, blond.

"Rachel, right?" the perfect girl said. Rachel nodded, not sure what to think. James turned around and so did the rest of James' friends. She couldn't understand their wary expressions.

"Will you come with me? Just for a second. My name is Callie," the girl said, setting down her drink. Rachel looked at James. He was looking as if he was torn between helping her or running away.

Rachel found herself being half-dragged out in the December air. She folded her arms around herself.

Callie had stopped and seemed to be sizing Rachel up. Rachel waited. She was very intimidated by Callie.

The girl seemed to scream good upbringing. She had perfect clothes, body, hair, makeup, everything. Her pink lips were in a scowl.

"So you have the nerve to come here after everything you've done to him?" Callie asked, crossing her arms in a threatening way.

"Well.." Rachel said slowly. She was cut off.

"It's so good that I ran into James this morning, getting coffee. I sat him down and he told me everything. We used to date. We broke up because of distance. I was in Paris, he was here. I obviously should have been here. You've really screwed him up. You are a heartless bitch waste of space who has ruined him," Callie said, cold look on her face. Rachel felt herself freeze.

"Yes that's right. You need to go back to Lima. Stay out of James' life. You don't need to mess it up more than you already have," Callie said.

Rachel took a step back, vision blurring with tears. She turned and walked away, only to turn back when she heard her name.

James had come out, flanked by Jonah and Ethan. She turned, knowing tears were streaming down her face.

"Is it true? Do you want me gone?" she said, just loud enough for James to hear. She saw him glance at Callie, who raised and eyebrow at him. He looked back at her. He was silent and Rachel saw thoughts going through his brain at a million miles an hour. She waited. And waited. She felt the tears come full force and she walked away quickly, leaving behind the only man she'd ever truly loved.

* * *

><p>Kurt drove up to Rachel's house. It was a Sunday afternoon. Rachel had gotten back that morning. He only knew this from Shelby and she only knew from Rachel's dads, who were currently on a business trip in Cincinnati. Rachel hadn't talked to anybody. Kurt walked up to find that the door was unlocked. He walked in slowly. He went into the living room.<p>

Rachel was sitting on the couch. She wore only a large t-shirt, obviously James'. She had her knees tucked to her chest. She had her face buried in her knees. She looked up.

Kurt felt his heart drop. The haunted look that she'd lost was back.


	19. Haunted Cont

**This part came to me this morning... hope you like. Thought I should go ahead and put it up :)**

* * *

><p>Callie sat next to James on the plane to Lima. She'd didn't like that they had to go back to the place where that Rachel girl was, but James' mom was making him.<p>

She sat back relaxing. James at first had just been surprised to see her, he'd been hurrying to meet Rachel but had had to run to the pharmacy to pick up his new anti-depressants. She'd held them for him while he used the bathroom. She had pulled them ou of the bag, naturally curious. She'd seen the dosage. 2 pills a day. She'd grabbed a pen and whiteout out of her purse and had quickly and efficiently changed it to four a day.

James had come out to find her buying a bottle of water for him. He'd thanked her and taken four pills.

Callie smiled to herself. It had been much easier to convince him to stay away from the apartment then. She'd gotten the whole story out of him too. Rachel Berry was going to pay.


	20. Tragedy

**Dang, Rereading this... its pretty angsty. I guess finals have got me like this. Anyway, I love how much response I've gotten on this recently. I really do enjoy reviews SOOOOO much. Tell me what you think at the end!**

**Song:**

**Tragedy – Christina Perri **

* * *

><p>Tragedy<p>

Kurt stayed the night that Sunday. He cooked for Rachel, and watched her favorite musicals with her. He switched off the TV with a sigh. He looked over at Rachel, sitting next to him.

"Thank you," she mouthed. Kurt smile, nodding.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. He went to it and answered it. Standing there were three people.

One very familiar face smiled and stepped in, next to Kurt, kissing his cheek.

"They pulled in the same time I did," Blaine said, carrying in a bag for Kurt to stay the night.

One was a tiny boy who had messy red curls and the other guy had a tan and blond hair.

"I'm Jonah and this is Ethan. We... um... were with Rachel in New York and I personally hated how things happened and nothing worked out..." Jonah said, fast. Ethan put a hand on Jonah's arm, shutting him up.

"We need to know she'd okay," Ethan said, smiling. Kurt smiled back and stepped aside for the two of them to come in. Jonah stepped into the living room and ran to hug Rachel.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel," he said. Rachel looked at him.

"It's not your fault," she said softly. Kurt turned to see Ethan scowling at Rachel's current state.

"Is it just you two in town?" Blaine asked.

"Well...no. James' mom made him come home now that Ethan's out of the hospital. So he came back. But...," Ethan said. He paused and looked regretful.

"Callie decided to join him," Jonah said sadly. They all looked at Rachel who sat staring into space, kneeding her shirt in her hands in her lap.

"Rachel, are you ready for bed?" Blaine asked, after a moment. She looked up at him and nodded. He took her hand and took her upstairs. He helped her into bed and turned out the lights.

Downstairs, Kurt was grilling Ethan and Jonah about everything that had happened in New York.

The next morning, Kurt paid out clothes for Rachel. She wore a pretty fitted wine red button up shirt with the sleeves rolled over black skinny pants. They were tucked into white Dr. Martens.

Kurt had felt wonderful when she'd smiled at the outfit and had thanked him. He curled her hair for her.

They were walking out to his car.

"Kurt, I don't know what I'd do without you," Rachel said as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Then it's a good thing you do have me," Kurt replied, laughing. He watched her lips curl into an almost smile.

Rachel sat next to Kurt. With him and Blaine, things almost felt like things might possibly be okay again. But they weren't. Before that terrible day. The day when they traveled and she told James that she still loved him, she had allowed herself to hope that everything could be alright again. She knew that she had messed up terribly with Sebastian. That probably didn't help her at all. But this had all started when James had met Callie. She was sure of it.

"Rachel? We're here," Kurt said, snapping her out of her thoughts. Rachel nodded and got out, slinging her bag over her shoulder. She walked with Kurt toward the school, each step bringing her closer to the love of her life and the bitch that had taken him away from her.

Rachel walked into glee. Kurt had forewarned the club of her fragile state. They, of course, didn't like it.

She sat down. Just then Callie walked in, followed by James. He looked like he hadn't slept or eaten in a week. Callie on the other hand looked fresh off a magazine picture. Mr. Shuester, unaware of who she was walked forward. She introduced herself. Mr. Shuester let her perform, since she wanted to join. Rachel watched as Callie did an okay job at singing Only Hope. The old Rachel, long buried within, came to the surface. This was the girl who'd messed everything up by getting inside James' head.

As the song finished, Rachel stood, stepping down onto the floor. Still clapping slowly, not breaking eye contact.

"Pitchy," she said, no emotion on her face.

"Like I care what you think," Callie scoffed. Rachel just looked at her, then back at the club and Mr. Shue, who looked confused.

"Me or her. I am not staying in this club if she's here," Rachel said slowly.

"All in favor of Little Miss Bitch leaving?" Kurt said, putting his hand in the air. Soon the rest followed. Callie looked disbelieving at everybody. Mr. Shuester stood up.

"Guys we need all the members we can get," he said incredulously. Callie smirked.

"No, Mr. Shuester. You don't want her in this group," a voice said from the door. Ethan and Jonah walked in.

"Callie get out," Ethan said. Callie looked between the club and the two boys.

"Whatever. James come on," she said turning to go. Not hearing him with her, she turned around. James was sitting in his seat with a determined look on his face. He looked like he was concentrating hard.

"James?" Callie asked, voice raising an octave.

"I think you need to leave," Jonah said evenly. Callie huffed and glared at Rachel, then shifted her gaze to Mr. Shuester. He told her that she could stay. Then everybody looked at Mr. Shuester, glaring. He sighed and stood.

"And you are?" he said to Jonah and Ethan.

"I'm Jonah, and this is Ethan," Jonah said. Mr. Shue waved for them to perform.

Five minutes later everybody was clapping. Even Rachel had a half smile on her face. She was trying to forget that Callie sat behind her glaring daggers into the back of her head. Jonah and Ethan were true showmen and had put on a show by singing Help by the Beatles, adding in their own twists and ideas. They sat down on either side of Rachel when they were done, both grinning.

Mr. Shuester stood and walked in front of them.

"Regionals. It's in five weeks. This week is all about the solo number. The assignment is that I want you to perform a number that conveys your emotional state at this moment. You can go alone or perform in a group. At the end of the week we will vote," Mr. Shuester looked at his kids, and they all nodded agreeing.

* * *

><p>The glee kids were walking towards the auditorium, discussing their numbers. They all walked in the side door and stopped when they say somebody standing on the dark stage,<p>

The lights came up revealing Rachel standing center stage. She used the auditorium to practice during lunch. She wore a short navy blue silk tank top dress. Her long hair fell down her back. She was barefoot.

The light was dim. The haunting music began. Rachel moved smoothly through the music. Her expression was detached.

**If you could envision**

**The meaning of a tragedy...oooh**

**You might be surprised to hear it's you and me**

Everybody could tell the song was from her to James. In the lights her eye sparkled.

**When it comes down to it**

**You never made the most of it...oooh**

**So I cried, cried, cried**

**And now, say goodbye**

Rachel had a haunting lilt to her voice.

**And I won't be made a fool of...**

**She froze closing her eyes**

**Don't call this love**

She jumped back into the dance with renewed vigor, tears falling silently.

**When did you decide**

**I didn't have enough to buy?**

**Forgive and forget you a thousand times**

**For the fire and the sleepless nights**

**And I won't be made a fool of... **

**Don't call this love**

**I don't call this love**

**...la la la la la la love**

**Why did you feel the need to prove that everybody else was right?... **

She began shaking her head as she stopped, center stage. She belted out the note, with no music.

**No I... won't fight**

**Oh you're my tragedy... tragedy**

**Oh you're my Tragedy,**

**Oh this is ohhh no no no**

**La La La La La La Love **

Rachel stood, center stage, chest heaving with silent sobs. The lights came down and she opened her eyes, spotting the club. She met James eyes and didn't look away and neither did he. He looked frustrated. Nobody moved or made a sound. They'd never seen something like that. Just then she heard loud clapping from the back of the auditorium. Everybody turned. It was the woman who had directed the camp at Julliard over the summer.

"That was breathtaking," the woman said, almost to herself, sizing Rachel up. Rachel stood still, quickly wiping the tears away.

"Thank you," She said quietly. The woman looked out and spotted James.

"I remember you two. You're the ones who got us so much money at the Benefit Concert. Could I speak with both of you," the woman asked, walking off stage. James stood, jumping up on stage. Rachel walked off stage too, with James following. The woman stopped to face both of them.

"We want both of you at our school next year. We are willing to make just about any arrangements necessary. You really did get a bunch of people to donate very large sums of money. We want you both to study music and dance and acting if you so choose.

Rachel and James both nodded. Somehow, saying no to this woman seemed like a very bad idea. The woman smiled and pulled out her iPhone when it began ringing. She walked off talking fast. Rachel looked up at James. She was surprised to also see his eyes shiny with tears as well. She looked down then walked back out, only to have him grab her arm, stopping her.

"Rachel? Will you perform with me?" he asked, a hopeful look on his face. They both stood like that. Rachel unfroze. She looked down at her feet then up at James again.

"Yes. But I pick the song," she said, a faint smile on her lips. She watched as a grin spread on James' face. She felt her heart flutter and a blush come to her cheeks. She pulled away gently and smiled a goodbye. She went to sit with Kurt, unable to shake the good mood that James had put her in.

* * *

><p>James leaned on his counter, breathing hard. He'd put on his headphones to try to clear his head. He was blasting his music. This medicine was really messing with his head. He couldn't focus. He banged his fist on the counter. His eyes latched onto the knife that lay on the counter.<p>

"No," he said allowed. Turning away, he clenched his fist. He hadn't done that in months. His mother had been so upset when she'd found out he'd cut himself. He winced, remembering the previous New Years. He slowly turned around. The knife still lay there, taunting him.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked up James' front driveway. She'd brought him a list of songs and she wanted to run them by him. She almost laughed at herself. It was really an excuse to see him again. He'd seemed more like himself today. The James that she'd fallen in love with. She walked up. She was surprised to see the door wide open. She opened the screen door and stepped inside. That was weird, James usually closed it. His mother hated when he didn't lock it.<p>

She heard a noise from the kitchen. She ran into it and stopped dead in her tracks. James. Held a knife, poised to cut himself.

She moved without thinking. She rushed forward, yanking the knife away from him. James, headphones on, hadn't heard her come in. He'd twisted his arm in a jerk reaction, since she'd startled him. Rachel let out a cry as it made a long cut down her forearm. She yanked it harder, throwing it away. She pulled out his headphones.

"James," she said, tears streaming down her face. His turquoise eyes locked onto hers. He took in the tears coming down her face. He looked down, meaning to look at his own arm, but saw hers. It was instantaneous. The fog went away. All that was left was her. Worry for her.

"Rachel," he whispered. He turned and grabbed a washcloth, getting it wet and putting it on her arm.

"Say something," he said. He took in Rachel's wide eyes.

"God, Rachel, I'm so sorry," he said. Rachel closed her eyes, looking down at her arm. It stung like crazy. She looked back at James. Tears fell.

"Never do that. Ever. Again," she said, voice breaking. Her shoulders shook with sobs. She slipped out her phone. She walked over and dialed a number that was on the side of the refrigerator.

"Hello, may I speak to James Richards' doctor. Yes, Dr. Reed," She waited. While she did, she felt James take her arm and begin to bandage it, having trouble with his big, trembling hands. She met his eyes. James was stunned at how she was holding it together. Just for him.

"Hello?" she heard on the other end.

"I have James here with me. We were wondering if the prescription on his meds was right. He has been increasingly "foggy" and cannot concentrate," Rachel said, not letting any emotion into her voice, worried she'd break down.

"I have his report right here. This is the most up to date medicine we have. Perfect for him actually. Has he been taking two a day? One in the morning, one at night?" Mrs. Reed said. Rachel looked back up at James. His brow furrowed. He placed the last piece of tape on Rachel's arm and walked over to the medicine cabinet, pulling out his bottle of pills. He handed it to Rachel. She looked at the bottle, squinting to read the little writing. After a moment she looked back at James.

"Thank you Dr. Reed," Rachel said, ending the call.

"Somebody messed with this," Rachel said, holding up the bottle, voice shaking. It was faint but you could see the outline of whiteout around the prescription.

"The only person that had it was... Callie," James said. Rachel looked down nodding to herself. James took in how she trembled.

"Rachel, I..." James said. Rachel cut him off.

"No," she said. "You will never do that. Ever again. James, I love you. If you think... for one second that you can just hurt yourself like that and I would let you get away with it then you are wrong. James, I. Love. You," She said, voice wavering with emotion. Tears falling.

James looked down at her. He didn't know what to do. He was ashamed. To his core. Having her see him like that was the worst thing he could imagine.

"I shouldn't be near you," James sighed softly. He grabbed Rachel's hand. He watched as anger entered her eyes.

"Rachel. I just physically hurt you. That's the one thing I promised myself I would never do," he said, adamant.

He watched as Rachel looked at him. Defiance in her eyes. As if she was truly seeing right through him.

"No," she said firmly. She grabbed his hands, gripping them tightly.

"James Richards. I love you. I believe that I need to be with you. It's better for you and its better for me. I need you," she said slowly. James looked at her. She saw conflict in his eyes. Without thinking she stood on her tiptoes, pulling him to her. She kissed him with everything she had.


	21. Distance

**This starts off right where it left off with Rachel kissing James in the kitchen. I really love this chapter and the songs in it, so listen while you read!**

****Okay. So for all of you SYTYCD fans, the number I am having Rachel and James do is one that I am sure you'll love. I'm kinda basing off of that but not quite. (If you are interested: **.com/watch?v=DUWmnnt1q2s )**

**Enjoy!**

**Songs: I Got You - Leona Lewis **

** Distance - Christian Perri **

* * *

><p>Distance<p>

Rachel pulled away, releasing a pent up breath. She opened her eyes, looking up at James. She felt a smile come onto his face. She grabbed his hand and they went up to his room. She pushed him down so he was sitting on his bed.

"Can I sing for you?" She asked.

"You never have to ask," James said, smiling.

Rachel returned the smile, lost in his eyes momentarily.

She walked over and grabbed James' acoustic guitar. She came and sat on the bed, facing him. She started strumming, playing the beginning of the song. Then she began to sing. James watched and when she nodded for him to join her he did.

Singing with James, it seemed they'd never been apart.

Rachel played the last chord and put aside the guitar. James took her in his arms.

"So, that's what I want to do for our number," Rachel said, laughing. James nodded and kissed her, never wanting to let her go.

* * *

><p>The glee kids filed into the auditorium. They were very excited for Rachel and James' number. The two had returned to school and it was as if they were completely different people... or the same they were before, if not better. Their being together had completely lifted the morale in glee.<p>

They sat down and waited. The lights came up, revealing James standing center stage. His head was down and shoulders were hunched. He wore a white dress shirt, black pants and converse. He had an red untied bow tie around his neck. The music began and Rachel came on. She wore a white cotton strapless dress. It had a short tiered skirt. She wore this over black leggings with red converse. She placed a hand on James' shoulder comfortingly and began to sing.

(_Rachel_, **James**, _**Both**_)

_A place to crash_

_I got you_

_No need to ask_

_I got you_

_Just get on the phone_

_I got you_

_Come and pick you up if I have to_

Rachel turned him around, grabbing both his hands. He began to sing to her.

**What's weird about it**

**Is we're right at the end**

**And mad about it**

**Just figured it out in my head**

They harmonized, singing together.

_**I'm proud to say**_

_**I got you**_

They jumped into the hip-hop dance they'd worked on together the previous day.

_Go ahead and say goodbye_

_I'll be alright_

_Go ahead and make me cry_

_I'll be alright_

James lifted her into the air and brought her down effortlessly

_**And when you need a place to run to**_

_**For better for worse**_

_**I got you**_

_I got you_

They moved to the front of the front of the stage, singing to each other.

**Ain't falling a part, or bitter**

**Let's be bigger than that and remember**

_The cooling outdoor when you're all alone_

_We'll go on surviving_

_No drama, no need for a show_

**Just wanna say**

**_I got you_**

_Go ahead and say goodbye_

_I'll be alright_

_Go ahead and make me cry_

_I'll be alright_

_**And when you need a place to run to**_

_**For better for worse**_

_**I got you**_

_Go ahead and say goodbye_(**go ahead**)

_I'll be alright_ (**say goodbye**)

_Go ahead and make me cry_ (**Oooh**)

_I'll be alright_

_**And when you need a place to run to**_

_**For better for worse**_

_**I got you**_

_'Cause this is love and life_

_And nothing we can both control_

**And if it don't feel right**

**You're not losing me by letting me know**

Rachel went to the back, stage left, going into her falsetto, leaving James up front on stage right.

_Oooh Oh_

Just as the music swelled, she ran to him, using all her power and jumped into his arms. She kissed him hard and fast and the two moved back into the dance, with renewed enthusiasm.

_Go ahead and say goodbye_(**say goodbye**)

_I'll be alright_

_Go ahead and make me cry_

_I'll be alright_

_And when you need a place to run to_

**For better for worse**

_I got you_

**Go ahead and say goodbye** (_go ahead_)

**I'll be alright** (_say goodbye_)

_**Go ahead and make me cry**_

_**I'll be alright**_

_**And when you need a place to run to**_

_**For better for worse**_

_**I got you**_

The music slowed. Rachel was left center stage. James touched his forehead to hers and she sang to him.

_A place to crash_

_I got you_

_No need to ask_

_I got you_

Rachel threw her arms around James' neck. She was so happy that she could explode. The glee kids and Mr. Shue were on their feet whooping and clapping.

James and Rachel hopped off the stage.

"All in favor of that as the solo?" Mr. Shuester said. Everybody's hand went up. Rachel laughed, unable to shake the growing excitement.

Callie backed away from the door at the back of the auditorium. So they were together again. She guessed James had found out about her changing the prescription. She was going to get Rachel. She pulled out her phone and dialed walking away, a smile spreading on her face.

* * *

><p>Rachel and James went to pick out a Christmas tree after school. James mother always loved to have it up at Thanksgiving. They walked among the trees.<p>

Rachel felt content and right where she needed to be. James hand was warm around hers. They ended up finding just the right tree and James and several of the workers got it in the truck. They followed the two back to James' house, and set it up.

Rachel and James decorated it. When it was done, they sat back to admire their work.

"It's beautiful," Rachel said, wrapping her arms around James' torso, and locking her hands together.

"Yes, you are," James said, picking her up, Rachel laughed at the cheesiness and wrapped her legs around him.

"I love you," she said, pressing her forehead to his, her nose almost touching his.

"Not as much as I love you," James said, and before she could correct him, he pressed his lips to hers.

* * *

><p>Rachel and James spent the weekend together. All they had to do was go to school Monday and Tuesday and they were out for Thanksgiving.<p>

Rachel sighed as the alarm went off. She rolled over, inside James' arms, reaching over him to switch off the alarm.

"Morning," he mumbled.

"Hi," she said smiling. James' mom walked in, setting down James' clean laundry.

"Hi Mrs. Richards," Rachel said.

"Good morning Rachel. James honey, I have a late meeting tonight, and I left money on the counter for pizza or takeout," she said. She placed a kiss on James' head and left fast, leaving for work. Mrs. Richards was fine with Rachel staying the night as long as the door stayed open and the two remained clothed.

Rachel sat up, throwing back the covers and walked to where she kept clothes here. She pulled on a t-shirt, skinny jeans and her converse.

She and James arrived at school. They met up with Kurt and Blaine and stood talking. Rachel was defending the lack of effort put into her outfit when suddenly, she saw Blaine and Kurt both freeze with surprise at something over her head. Rachel turned and felt her stomach drop.

Strutting down the hall was Callie. She was flanked on one side by Quinn and on the other side, Santana, all wearing Cheerio uniforms. Rachel was very afraid. Each wore a signature HBIC smirk. The other bad thing was that both Quinn and Santana held slushies, which were immediately thrown in Rachel's face.

The familiar shock of the senses and stinging of the eyes took over Rachel and all she could do was stand shivering. James stepped in front of her, glaring at Callie. She kept her eyes on Rachel.

"I told you to stay out of his life. Now you are going to pay. I rule this school and your life is going to be hell until you realize that James is much better off without you in his life," Callie said, smile on her face the whole time.

Rachel looked back and forth between Quinn and Santana. She thought they were past all of this. Both kept their faces emotionless.

"Callie, go to hell," James said. Rachel had to put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. He was shaking with rage.

"Wow, you really have messed him up, Rachel," Callie said. She winked at James and walked off. The two watched her go. Rachel pulled James with her into the bathroom, denying Kurt and Blaines' offer to help, giving them a goodbye nod of the head.

The bathroom was empty.

Rachel took off her shirt, threw it in the sink and turned on the water, standing there shivering in her cami. James was standing with his back against the wall, arms crossed, eyes close, breathing heavily. She walked over to him and stood on her tiptoes putting a hand on either side of his face.

"James. Look at me," she said gently. He sighed and opened his eyes.

"Put your arms around me," she whispered. He complied, locking his hands around the small of her back.

"She doesn't matter. Nothing she says matters. I'm with you and you're with me. I love you," Rachel said, not letting him break eye contact. She watched as a single tear fell from his face.

"Rachel...," he said, voice breaking. He pulled away, turning them around. He stepped back, shaking his head. He walked out. Rachel watched, frozen. She jumped when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She slowly pulled it out. It was a text from James. It was a forward.

* * *

><p><em>Please understand.<em>

_**Hi James, it's Callie. You honestly have no idea what I am capable of, or have you forgotten? I have unlimited amounts of money and connections. As we speak I am in the process of getting on Cheerios and becoming queen of McKinley. I will make Rachel's life hell. I will also personally make sure that she never gets anywhere on Broadway or Julliard. Do you want to be the cause of her losing everything she's ever wanted? Do you want to be the one to ruin her life? All you have to do is break up with her. It's that simple.** _

* * *

><p>Rachel looked up, tears streaming down her face. She walked out, to her locker, pulling on her hoodie, then to glee. Everybody was there. It was silent when people saw Rachel's face. James was in the corner, staring off into space. Callie, in the front row, sitting in between Quinn and Santana, smirked<p>

"Mr. Shue, do you mind if I sing?" Rachel asked, looking down.

"Go ahead," Mr. Shuester said, warily. Rachel nodded her thanks and told the band her song she wanted.

She clenched her fists to keep from crying harder.

She sat down next to Brad, hunched into herself, eyes closed. He began to play.

**The sun is filling up the room**

**And I can hear you dreaming**

She remembered that morning, and how happy they both were.

**Do you feel the way I do right now?**

**I wish we would just give up**

**Cause the best part is falling**

**Call it anything but love**

She got up slowly, with shaky steps.

**And I will make sure to keep my distance**

**Say "I love you" when you're not listening**

**How long can we keep this up, up, up?**

She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, more tears falling.

**And please don't stand so close to me**

**I'm having trouble breathing**

**I'm afraid of what you'll see right now**

She opened her eyes and looked at James with a promise in her watery eyes as she sang the next part.

**I give you everything I am**

**All my broken heart beats**

**Until I know you understand**

She slowly stood up straight, spreading her arms, moving her body slightly as she sang.

**And I will make sure to keep my distance**

**Say "I love you" when you're not listening**

**How long can we keep this up, up, up?**

She clenched her fists and sang with all she had.

**And I keep waiting**

**For you to take me**

**You keep waiting**

**To save what we have**

She slowly walked towards him.

**So I'll make sure to keep my distance**

She knelt in front of him.

**Say "I love you" when you're not listening**

**How long can we keep this up, up, up?**

She grabbed his hands and brought them to cup her face, lacing her fingers through his.

**Make sure to keep my distance**

**Say "I love you" when you're not listening**

**How long til we call this love, love, love?**


	22. Back to the Start

**Hola! So glad to get back to this story! So sorry for the wait. School has been kicking me in the butt. I really hope you like this and drop me a review!**

**Song:**  
><strong>Back to the Start - Lily Allen <strong>

* * *

><p>Back to the Start<p>

Rachel sighed, walking along the halls, clutching her books to her chest. She was thinking hard, not really paying attention to the students surrounding her. She didn't catch the looks some girls were sending her. She didn't realize how envious they were. Everybody was on the edge of their seat waiting to see Callie and Rachel go at it. Apparently Kurt and Blaine had heard the whole story from Reed, and Kurt had told Mercedes, who'd told her boyfriend, who'd told the football team during lifting. It had spread fast after that. Girl's were jealous. Rachel had become a very popular girl that year. Guys watched as she walked by, oblivious, checking her out. She wore a grey loose sweater, one shoulder falling off over faded dark pink shorts. She had black tights on and sparkly silver oxfords. Her bangs were french braided back and she had a low, messy side bun. She readjusted her bag over her shoulder.

She was thinking. How could she get Santana and Quinn on her side? She knew that they simply needed to overcome Callie, and in a way that advanced their popularity. An answer to her prayers came.

Brittany was shutting her locker and talking on her phone. Rachel walked up and stood in front of her, waiting patiently. Brittany smiled and held up a finger.

"Wait, why is Lord Tubbington getting off Adkins? Onto Weight Watchers? That's probably smart. He was always good at math so he can count points," she said. Then she listened, said goodbye and hung up.

"Hey Rachel," she said smiling, "I like your shorts."

"Thank you Brittany. I need your help?" Rachel said.

"Look Rachel, leg-warmers will never catch on," Brittany said, completely serious. Rachel laughed, remembering the time when that mattered.

"No, and I definitely agree. But I need your help getting Santana and Quinn back on my side," Rachel said.

"Ooohhhh. Yeah, I'll help, San was told not to hang out with me by Callie," Brittany said. Rachel saw Brittany's eyes tear up.

"Hey," she said, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Well, I don't know about Quinn... but there's this cool dance club that's like an hour away. My cousin owns it. That's like the one place that she loves. She's the most fun and open and like at peace with herself there. I think if us three go... then she might talk to you and maybe you can show her who she is again," Brittany said, rambling a little. Rachel smiled and without thinking, through her arms around the tall blonde.

"Thank you so much Brittany!" Rachel said. Brittany, never one to turn down a hug, squeezed back and whispered.

"Of course I'd help you. You and James have true love," Rachel was surprised when she felt a tear fall down her own cheek. Brittany wiped it away and kissed Rachel's cheek. She smiled at Rachel and walked off. Rachel's mood lifted. Brittany was so sweet. She walked off, passing James as he came out a classroom. She smiled at him, putting all her love on her face. She saw how happy this made him and continued walking.

* * *

><p>James sank down onto the couch at the Lima Bean, taking a gulp of hot black coffee, not noticing how it burned going down.<p>

"Hey man," he looked up, it was Blaine.

"Oh, hey," he said, taking another scalding sip, he patted the spot next to him. Blaine sat and studied James' face.

"How are you?" asked Blaine, with concerned.

"Well, the girl I love can't be with me. And I'm pretty sure she's going to try to beat Callie. Part of me wants her to do it and the other part wants her not to. Her future is so important. To her... and me," he said slowly. Blaine nodded, and a silence followed. James was thinking of the gorgeous smile Rachel had given him. Blaine was thinking about the problem.

"Rachel has connections too, you know," Blaine said, standing, with a slight smile. He gave a nod of farewell and left to go meet Kurt.

Blaine watched him go, and pulled out his phone.

* * *

><p>Rachel pulled up to Brittany's house. She stepped out and the door opened just as she was going to knock on the door.<p>

"Hi," she said, pulling Rachel up to her room. Santana sat on the bed, arms crossed.

"I managed to get her over here," Brittany said with a shrug.

"Hi Santana," Rachel said, warily.

"Berry," she said in greeting. She looked gorgeous in a white mini dress that, against her tan skin, made her glow. She wore black tights and high black heels. Her long hair was in a loose shiny side braid. A moment of awkward silence followed.

"Alright, what's going on? You text me to come over for an emergency, you dress me up, and now Berry's over here?" Santana said, confused and guarded. Rachel and Brittany looked at each other.

"Santana, we were going to go to The Beat," Britney said. Surprise flitted across Santana's stony face.

"With Rachel? You know how Callie..."

"Please San, for me?" Brittany said, interrupting. Santana sighed, locking eyes with Brittany. After a moment she nodded.

"Yay!" Brittany said, bouncing. Brittany then slipped on her own dress and lent Rachel a pretty soft silk grey romper to put on that was too small for her to wear over bright magenta tights and black wedges. Rachel watched as Brittany, began putting jewelry on her. Santana watched, not knowing Rachel was watching her. Brittany was amazing, and Santana watched as if she was used to seeing Brittany this inspired. Brittany stepped back and admired her work.

Rachel agreed to drive them. Santana and Britney sat in the backseat. Rachel turned on the radio. She heard the small talk that Santana was attempting to make with Brittany. It was obvious she felt bad about not talking to Brittany. Rachel tuned out, not wanting to be nosy. She hummed along softly to the song on the radio. When Brittany called her mom to say they were close to the club, Santana leaned forward and whispered, "Thank you," to Rachel, who whispered back a "Your welcome." Soon they reached the club. It was dark by this time. Rachel followed the two girls in. Already Santana seemed more at ease with herself and where she was. Brittany had explained that they'd been coming here for years, just to get out of Lima and let loose.

Rachel walked in and immediately liked the place. The DJ was playing cool music. People were dancing. The lighting was low. The club was beautifully designed. Santana left and came back with three shots. She held hers up. Brittany shook her head, saying she'd be designated driver.

"To an amazing night," Britney said, smiling. Rachel took hers, touched it to Santana's and threw back the shot. She laughed as Santana followed up by throwing back Brittany's.

That night was so much fun. Rachel wouldn't drink enough to get drunk, but she had a nice buzz that made it seem as if she was floating. The three danced together, guys crowding around them. Rachel seized the moment when Brittany went to the bathroom. She and Santana were sitting in a booth in the back. Rachel's cheeks were flushed from the dancing. She was happy. Santana was happier. She'd drank as much as Rachel, not wanting to forget the perfect night.

"Santana?" She said.

"Yes?" the Latina said, eyes boring into Rachel. Rachel hesitated.

"Look. I know you and Brittany brought me here to get me away from Callie," Santana said, a sly smile on her face.

"Yeah," Rachel said looking down.

"It worked," Santana said. Rachel looked up and saw the first genuine smile ever directed her way from Santana.

"Oh don't look surprised. Callie's a bitch. We all know that I am the Head Bitch. Plus, because of you, Brit and I are heating back up. I guess my love life looking up makes me want other people's to do the same. You and James should be together. Callie has no place messing with us. I'm not going to sit back and take it. But I do think we need Quinn," Santana said, thinking. Rachel was shocked. Brittany really had been the key.

Rachel saw Brittany come out of the bathroom and smiled at Santana. The song changed and it was slower.

"Go dance with her," Rachel said, nodding at Brittany. Santana reached across the table, grabbed Rachel's hand, and squeezed it. She stood, winked and walked over to Brittany. Rachel felt her heart swell as Santana rested her head on Brittany's shoulder. She was torn away from her thoughts of James and how she wanted him here, when suddenly she was surrounded.

"Hey," Matt said, from across the table. He had brought all of his jock friends with him.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel said, smiling at the group.

"Brit texted and said you were here and we should come. So we did," Puck said, slidding in next to her. Rachel found herself having fun. The guys all ordered drinks and they all danced. Santana and Brittany joined them. Rachel couldn't remember having so much fun. She and Puck had a dance off. Which she won. Mike and Matt taught her some new moves. She danced the night away with the guys, the only thing wrong was that a certain blue eyed boy wasn't there.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into school, the next Monday. She saw Quinn in her locker. She took a deep breath and walked over.<p>

"Quinn? Can we talk?" She asked carefully. She watched as Quinn sighed dramatically.

"God, Rachel. I knew this was coming. Can't you just understand that you and James are over and so are we. You are annoying and never going to beat Callie," She said, eyes full of hate.

"Quinn, what is your problem?" Rachel asked, getting angry. She stepped closer to Quinn, getting in her face. She was glad she'd worn her cream colored platform ankle boots. Especially when Quinn was wearing flats. Quinn looked shocked. She wasn't used to Rachel fighting back. The hallway was silent. Everybody was watching. Callie had walked up, hair perfectly done and clothes fresh out of a magazine. Her arms were folded, and she was glaring at Rachel. Quinn glanced at her, but Rachel didn't take her eyes off of Quinn. Then the warning bell rang. Nobody moved.

"Why don't you get it?" Quinn whispered. Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Get what?" Rachel said quietly. Students were straining to hear.

"You've never liked me. Even in middle school. You left," Quinn said, looking angry. Rachel's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Quinn held her gaze. Rachel shook her head and backed up.

"We finish this at lunch," she said, face hard, getting an idea. She walked off, and everybody started whispering.

Rachel walked into her English class, sitting by Matt.

"So I heard you and Quinn went at it," he said, looking up from his phone under the desk.

"Yeah. I need you to help me," she said. He listened as she explained and he nodded. Kurt sat down on her other side.

"Cute dress," he said. She wore a light pink, soft draped cotton dress, cinched with a tan belt around her waist.

"Thanks," she said. She tried to listen as he talked to her but her mind was far off thinking about what Quinn had said.

"Rachel," Kurt said, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looked at him with an apologetic smile.

"I told you that the internship you talked to Mrs. Solomon about for me and Britney was a success! She called last night, and we both emailed her some scans from our sketchbooks," Kurt said, bouncing in his seat with excitement.

"That's amazing Kurt!" Rachel said, excited for her friend. Mrs. Solomon was friends with many costume designers for shows and movies. She also knew designers. Kurt had flipped when Rachel had told him she could put in a good word for him.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into the cafeteria. She spotted Quinn, sitting with Callie. She felt Matt, beside her, give her shoulder a squeeze. Rachel looked at him and he nodded. She walked toward Quinn and as she did the cafeteria grew quiet. Rachel walked up to Quinn, who stood up to face Rachel. Callie sat back, arms folded, face cold and stony.<p>

"Quinn. When we were younger, all I wanted was to be your friend. But you never let me," Rachel said, brow furrowing as her voice broke.

"I didn't let you? You're the one who wouldn't be my friend," Quinn said, voice rising an octave.

"Because you..." Rachel sighed, and nodded to Matt. Using his laptop he began the instrumental. He'd hooked it to some speakers during his free period. Rachel looked at Quinn. She began to sing.

**When we were growing up you always looked like you were having such fun**

**You always were and you always will be the taller and the prettier one**

Rachel took a step toward the girl, then stopped, looking down.

**People seem to love you**

**They gravitate towards you**

**That's why I started to hate you so much**

**And I just completely ignored you**

A sarcastic, mad look came onto Rachel's face as she looked back up at Quinn.

**I don't know why I felt the need to keep it up for oh so long**

**It's all my fault I'm sorry you did absolutely nothing wrong**

**I don't know why I felt the need to drag it out for all these years**

**All the pain I've caused you**

**The constant flow of all the tears**

**Believe me when I say that I cannot apologize enough**

**When all you ever wanted from me was a token of my love**

**And if it's not too late**

**Could you please find it deep within your heart**

**To try and go back go back to the start**

**Go back to the start**

**I've been so evil with my constant invasions**

**But you made it so easy for me**

**You always rise to the occasion**

**I'll always pull you up on every stupid thing that you say**

**But I found it so entertaining**

**Messing around with your head**

Rachel felt herself tearing up. This made her angrier. In middle school Quinn had made her life hell, continuing into high school.

**I don't know why I felt the need to keep it up for oh so long**

**It's all my fault I'm sorry you did absolutely nothing wrong**

**I don't know why I felt the need to drag it out for all these years**

**All the pain I've caused you**

**The constant flow of all the tears**

**Believe me when I say that I cannot apologise enough**

**When all you ever wanted from me was a token of my love**

**And if it's not too late**

**Could you please find it deep within your heart**

**To try and go back go back to the start**

**Go back to the start**

**Go back to the start**

**Go back to the start**

Rachel stepped closer to Quinn not breaking eye contact.

**This is not just a song**

**I intend to put these words into action**

**I hope that it sums up the way that I feel to your satisfaction**

**I don't know why I felt the need to keep it up for oh so long**

**It's all my fault I'm sorry you did absolutely nothing wrong**

**I don't know why I felt the need to drag it out for all these years**

**All the pain I've caused you**

**The constant flow of all the tears**

**Believe me when I say that I cannot apologise enough**

**When all you ever wanted from me was a token of my love**

**And if it's not too late**

**Could you please find it deep within your heart**

**To try and go back go back to the start**

**Go back to the start  
><strong>

Rachel sighed, looking at the ceiling. The student body was quiet, waiting.

"I stopped being your friend in middle school... because of what you did. You made fun of me. You told me what to do. You expected me to be there for you, but you were never there for me. When things got awkward, you were the one who would make fun of me to entertain others. You made fun of my dads. You called me man hands. You thought it was hilarious. That's why I ignored you. That's why I stopped answering your texts and calls," Rachel said, hot angry tears falling. Quinn looked shocked. Rachel continued.

"I thought we were over this. All this meanness. You and I bonded last year. I thought you understood what we did and how I felt. And now you're helping the girl who's taking something away from me that I love and care about the most," Rachel said. She was trembling, trying not to cry.

Quinn looked so surprised. She took a hesitant step to Rachel.

"Quinn," Callie snapped. Quinn looked back at Callie, the person that could get her popularity back. Could make her queen again. Then she looked over at Rachel. An old friend that she'd thrown away. Then, once she'd gotten her back, she'd done it again. She'd helped Callie separate the person Rachel loved.

She moved to Rachel throwing her arms around the girl. Rachel was still for a moment, then put her arms around Quinn's neck. The sleepovers and parties from earlier in their friendship flashed through Rachel's head and she breathed in the familiar sweet smell of her friend.

"Rachel," Callie said. Rachel pulled away from Quinn, who stood in front of Rachel protectively. Rachel stepped around her, giving Quinn a grateful look.

"What?" Rachel asked, steeling herself. Callie smiled and pulled out her phone. She pressed a number and held it to her ear.

"Hi, I would like to speak to the Dean of Admissions," she said in a sweet voice.

"This is Callie. My dad's the..." She stopped.

"What do you..." She pulled her phone from her ear, staring at it, confused that somebody had hung up on her, of all people.

"Well look at that," a voice said behind her. She turned and saw James standing there. He looked pissed.


	23. One Fine Wire

**Hello wonderful readers. I deserve to be punished. This has been sitting in my computer. All alone. I had forgotten I had written it, but not posted. So for all of those who thought it was over, it's not. Feel free to yell at me in the reviews. Love ya bunches!**

**Songs:  
>Ass Back Home - Gym Class Heroes<br>****One Fine Wire - Colbie Caillat **

* * *

><p>Rachel looked between the two. Callie looked stubborn, standing tall and giving James a challenging look. Rachel knew it wasn't real. She saw the fear behind Callie's eyes.<p>

"It's for you," James said. All was quiet for a moment. Then a familiar voice sounded out of the phone, which was on speaker.

"Callie Forsyth? This is Mrs. Solomon, a close friend, supporter, and sponser of Rachel Berry. You do anything to ruin her career and I will personally bankrupt your father. I can do that considering he works for me. Understand?" Mrs. Solomon said, polite on the surface, but Rachel could tell the woman was mad.

"Am I understood?" Mrs. Solomon said loudly.

"Yes," Callie said. She looked like a child who had been punished by an adult. James switched off the speaker.

"Yes. It was nice meeting you too," he said, respectfully. He hung up. He looked up at Callie.

"Just leave Callie," he said, shaking his head in exasperation. Rachel watched as Callie struggled to form a response. She watched as a look of resignation entered the tall blond's eyes.

"I did miss Paris," she said shrugging. She smiled and winked at James, then walked out.

"Well that was..." Kurt started to say, turning to talk to Rachel and stopped when he saw her, a confused look on her face. James had run out of the room, following Callie.

* * *

><p>Matt walked up behind his friend. She was staring into her locker. She wasn't getting anything. She was in a different world. He watched as she anxiously checked her phone, then set it back down.<p>

"Rach," he said, walking up and waving his hand in front of her face. She flinched and met his eyes.

"Why did he rush after her?" she asked, brow furrowed, shoving some notebooks into her bag and shutting her locker. Matt followed her.

"Maybe they had unfinished business," Matt shrugged. James had called him, asking him to call Mrs. Solomon in the first place so that James could get rid of Callie.

"Your probably right," she said with a sigh, "Wanna practice with me?" she asked, stopping at the door of the auditorium. Matt agreed.

An hour later he walked over to the speaker in the corner and paused Rachel's iPod.

"You need to chill," he said, concern on his features. Rachel looked at him, defiance in her eyes. She was breathing hard and was sweating. She wore a big shirt that was soft and worn out over grey leggings. Matt had to admit, she was on fire, but she was pushing herself hard.

"One more song before glee rehearsal starts," she said, catching her breath. Matt sighed and nodded. She chose a song. Matt rolled his eyes as the music began, but regardless, started a dance that Rachel picked up easily. That's what they did, they built off of each other, learning and repeating and challenging the other to try harder. Matt smiled at Rachel.

_Oh, it's so sexy oh_

Rachel closed her eyes, feeling the beat in her body, and sang.

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Or when you're coming home**

**I left the keys under the mat to our front door**

**For one more chance to hold you close**

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Just get your ass back home**

Rachel began to dance as Matt began the rap, using some new hip-hop moves that Mike had taught her.

_We both knew this type of life didn't come with instructions_

_So I'm trying to do my best to make something out of nothing_

_And sometimes it gets downright shitty in fact_

_When you call and I don't even know what city I'm in at_

_Or what day of the week in the middle of the month_

_In a year I don't recall_

_It's like my life's on repeat and the last time we spoke_

_I told you I wouldn't be long,_

_That was last November, now December's almost gone_

_I'd apologize but I don't realize what I'm doing wrong_

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Or when you're coming home**

**I left the keys under the mat to our front door**

**For one more chance to hold you close**

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Just get your ass back home**

Rachel's face was sad and her eyes pricked with tears as she thought of James. All she wanted was him beside her. She through herself into the dance throwing in flips and testing her flexibility.

_And you've been nothing but amazing_

_And I never take that for granted_

_Half of these birds would have flew the coop_

_But you, you truly understand it_

_And the fact you stood beside me,_

_Every time you heard some bogusness_

_You deserve a standing o 'cause they'd a just been over it_

_Let em talk, let em talk, let em talk, let em talk_

_Like we don't hear what they saying_

_Let em walk, let em walk, let em walk, let em walk_

_We'll just drive by and keep waving_

_Cause you and I above all that_

_Just let them wallow in it_

_Now they all choked up, yuck_

_Cause they be swallowing it_

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Or when you're coming home**

**I left the keys under the mat to our front door**

**For one more chance to hold you close**

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Just get your ass back home**

Matt all but threw Rachel into the air and then she landed. The two threw themselves into a sequence that they had exactly on beat, dancing in complete synchronization.

_No one hold me down like you do sweetheart_

_You keep doing that, I keep doing this_

_We'll be alright in the end_

_Trust that_

_We put the us in trust, baby_

_Let's go_

**I don't care what you're after**

**As long as I'm the one, no**

**I don't care why you're leaving**

**You'll miss me when you're gone**

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Or when you're coming home**

**I left the keys under the mat to our front door**

**For one more chance to hold you close**

**I don't know, where you're going**

**Just get your ass back home.**

They finished, heads down. Both looked up, startled as applause sounded with cheers. The whole glee club had walked in, unnoticed by the two performers with the spotlights turned up so high.

Rachel's eyes were caught on a sparkling turquoise pair. James stood among the club, light shining in his eyes. She took a tentative step toward him. He turned and gestured her to follow him, looking over his shoulder. Rachel froze, ignoring the looks, just watching his retreating back. After a moment she hopped off the stage and followed James, not caring she was barefoot. She found him leaning against the school through the window. It was around five and the sun was setting. It was strange but it began to rain lightly, even though the sun was up. Rachel walked up to the exit and stepped out, the cool sprinkle feeling amazing against her hot sweaty skin.

Both were silent. James was breathing evenly, watching the rain, eyes sparkling in the golden light. Rachel couldn't keep her eyes off his face.

"I left to make sure she'd hold to her word. And she owed me an apology," James said slowly and quietly, still not looking at Rachel, a slightly pained look on his face. Rachel couldn't speak, rendered speechless, full of love. James took this the wrong way.

"I understand... if you don't want to be with somebody that has caused you... so much pain," he said voice wavering at the end. He looked down at his feet. Rachel stepped in front of him. She put a hand on either side of his face. She stood there until he looked at her.

"Why the hell would you think that? I love you," she said, a bright smile growing on her face. She watched as happiness grew in his eyes, then he smiled back at her, and she was home. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she had. He pulled her closer, hands tangling into her hair. Soon Rachel pulled back and inhaled James' familiar smell.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know," Rachel whispered back with a chuckle as James kissed her cheek.

They stood together, out in the rain, both soaked through. Rachel pulled them back inside and they walked back to glee, hand in hand. The glee club was waiting for them. Kurt and Britney both squealed with joy at the sight of their intertwined hands. The two sat down in auditorium seats. James held Rachel's hand, stroking it with his thumb. Mr. Shuester walked up, smiling at the couple, then getting down to business. Blaine proposed a number for Rachel and Matt that was met with approval. What happened surprised everybody. Rachel said she didn't think she should do it. Even James looked at her strangely.

"Look. I love it, but I did perform at Sectionals, and I can understand if somebody else wants the solo," Rachel said, looking down. Everybody could tell she wanted the song badly, but she had grown up. She knew now that she couldn't always perform. It was quiet for a moment, then everybody burst out laughing. Rachel looked at the clubbers, confused. Wasn't this what they'd always wanted from her?

Kurt took a deep breath, still smiling and said, "Um... alright. Then I propose that we make pairs and divide... up the song," he said, pausing to giggle throughout the sentence. There was a murmur of agreement. Rachel let the weird moment go and put her head on James shoulder. He felt more muscular and hard. He saw her looking at his bicep and smiled.

"I've had some tension to work off. Weights and running have helped alot," he said quietly in her ear. Rachel bit her lip, looked up at him and smiled, moving so her lips were at his ear.

"Well if you ever have any more... tension..." she said, trailing off and pulling back, still smiling. James' eyebrows went up. The two sat through the meeting, nothing mattering but that the other was next to them.

* * *

><p>Rachel pushed James into the backseat of his car, following after. It felt like she hadn't touched him in years. They were a flurry of motion. All she felt was James. Nothing else existed in that perfect moment.<p>

"I don't know, Rachel..." James mumbled as her lips moved to his neck. Rachel's brow furrowed and she pushed herself up to look at him. He looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes. She understood, he'd been stressed.

"Of course. Come on, let's go watch a movie," she said, smiling brightly. She reached in his pocket and pulled out his keys and got into the front seat.

* * *

><p>James sat up in bed. He rubbed his eyes. Pulling his hands away, he stared at them. They were shaking. He stood, ignoring the vertigo and walked to the bathroom to splash water on his face. He sighed, and rested his weight on his arms on the cold granite sink. He went back into his room and grabbed his guitar. Last night with Rachel had been amazing. He felt bad for acting around her. The overdose on the medication left him wigged out and he was full of adrenaline all the time. Sleep, when he got it, was rare. He had run after Callie to ask her if she knew why. Surely she'd checked before tricking him into that it was safe enough. From her panicked stuttering, he was sure she hadn't.<p>

James cleared his mind, took deep breaths and began strumming slowly, picturing Rachel.

**I try so many times**

**but it's not taking me**

**and it seems so long ago**

**that I used to believe**

**and I'm so lost inside of my head**

**and crazy**

**but I cant get out of it**

**I'm just** **stumbling**

James' thoughts turned to Rachel. He felt a tear fall down his cheek. He sang the lyrics evenly. He closed his eyes.

**And I'm juggling all the thoughts in my head**

**I'm juggling and my fears on fire**

**but I'm listening as it evolves in my head**

**I'm balancing on one fine wire**

He heard his mothers' car pull in. He continued singing, the release feeling amazing. When he was singing, he felt better.

**And I remember the time my balance was fine**

**and I was just walking on one fine wire**

**I remember the time my balance was fine**

**and I was just walking on one fine wire**

**but It's frayed at both the ends**

**and I'm slow unraveling**

His life since he'd come to Lima for the year played through his head. The ability to think felt so good. He felt clear headed and free.

Life plays so many games inside of me

**and I've had some distant cries, following**

**and their entwined between the night and sun beams**

**I wish I were free from this pain in me**

**And I'm juggling all the thoughts in my head**

**I'm juggling and my fears on fire**

**but I'm listening as it evolves in my head**

**I'm balancing on one fine wire**

He through his head back, feeling the song and the beat.

**And I remember the time my balance was fine**

**and I was just walking on one fine wire**

**I remember the time my balance was fine**

**and I was just walking on one fine wire**

**but it's frayed at both the ends**

**and I'm slow unraveling**

**And I'm juggling all the thoughts in my head**

**I'm juggling and my fears on fire**

**but I'm listening as it evolves in my head**

**I'm balancing on one fine wire...**

* * *

><p><strong>Pretty please tell me what you think. There is so many ways I can take James' problem. Hit that review button!<strong>


	24. Volcano

**I'm back! I have written and rewritten this over and over and I am so ready to start posting again. This chapter is not a happy chappy. Sorry guys. Feel free to yell at me. Love yalls!**

**Song: Volcano by Damien Rice **

* * *

><p>Volcano<p>

Jesse stepped out of his Range Rover, taking a huge gulp of his chai latte. He smiled at the school that he had grown to love. He was going back to New York at the end of the week. He was actually beginning to make some of the kids enjoy his music class. He hadn't been expecting them to respond to him. But he was starting to understand why Shuester stuck around with the New Directions. It was a job full of gratification.

He was going over lesson plans in his head when he passed the boys locker room, he heard a grunt and then the all-too familiar sound of puking. He sighed, remembering the days when throwing up meant that you were halfway done with rehearsal.

Jesse ran into the weight room. He saw James Richards bent over the trashcan in the corner. He'd stopped puking, but was shaking, with arms out to brace himself against the wall. He turned and looked at Jesse, having heard him come in. Jesse picked up what he assumed to be James' towel and water and motioned for James to sit down. James complied. Jesse handed him the water and towel, sitting down next to him. He looked in the corner, where he saw that James must have been benching a huge amount of weight,

"Don't tell Rachel," James got out between breaths. Jesse's eyebrows went up. He'd hadn't been planning on it.

"Don't tell Rachel what?" he asked, meeting James' eyes. James sighed and looked away from Jesse, staring at the wall.

"My ex Callie was in town. She... to say the least... hated Rachel. She blackmailed us. She messed with my meds, making me overdose. I... have been messed up. I have adrenaline rushing through my veins all the time. My head pounds. I can't sleep. I can't even think clearly," James said, massaging his temples. He stood slowly and tossed his towel into the hamper in the corner. He turned around and looked at Jesse, who had also stood. He took in the set jaw of Jesse, the body language, the pained look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you James. With Rachel. I never should have broke you guys apart and I will always regret it. But, I believe that you are underestimating Rachel now. I did the same thing. It was what broke us apart," Jesse said, eyes boring into James'.

James watched Jesse walk out. He pulled off his shirt and went to take a shower. In the back of his mind, he knew Jesse would tell Rachel. Jesse had done terrible things. James had forgiven him. He knew that Jesse still loved Rachel, in his own way. He turned the water heat up, humming random notes to clear his head, breathing evenly.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke up the next morning in a calm mood. She wasn't happy. No, she was too worried about James to be happy. But she wasn't upset, or freaking out, or scared. She felt a solid determination to help James, to get out of this mess.<p>

She threw back the cover and stretched, twisting to pop her back, something her fathers hated. She stood and went to wash her face and brush her teeth. She put on a white shirt, a light denim vest, her skinny black capris and her shiny white and black oxfords. She slipped a brown headband with a bow on top in her messy waves.

Rachel drove to school, deciding to practice before school started in the auditorium, since it was early. She walked onto the stage from the side and stopped, seeing somebody was already on stage. Jesse stood in center stage and music was coming through the speakers. His eyes were closed.

**Don't hold yourself like that**

**You'll hurt your knees**

**I kissed your mouth and back**

**But that's all I need**

**Don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down**

Without thinking, Rachel walked forward, harmonizing quietly with the eerie hypnotic song. Jesse's eyes opened slowly and looked at her. She held his eyes, trying to read his thoughts.

_**What I am to you is not real**_

_**What I am to you you do not need**_

The two circled each other, not breaking eye contact.

_**What I am to you is not what you mean to me**_

_**You give me miles and miles of mountains**_

_**And I'll ask for the sea**_

Jesse looked away, but Rachel kept watching him. She began singing.

_Don't throw yourself like that_

_In front of me_

_I kissed your mouth, your back_

_Is that all you need?_

_Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down_

Rachel took a step toward him, confusion on her face.

_**What I am to you is not real**_

_**What I am to you you do not need**_

_**What I am to you is not what you mean to me**_

_**You give me miles and miles of mountains**_

Rachel knew something was up. Jesse looked at Rachel, pained look on his face.

**And I'll ask what I give to you**

**Is just what I'm going through**

**This is nothing new**

_**No no just another phase of finding what I really need**_

**Is what makes me bleed**

_**And like a new disease she's still too young to treat**_

_**Like a distant tree**_

_Volcanoes melt me down_

**She's still too young**

_I kissed your mouth_

**You do not need me**

_**What I am to you is not real**_

_**What I am to you you do not need**_

**You do not need me. **

Rachel stepped back, folding her arms as the music stopped.

"What's going on?" she asked. Jesse sighed and sat on the edge of the stage, legs dangling off. He looked up at Rachel, who hadn't moved. She raised an eyebrow, waiting.

* * *

><p>James sat in the glee room. He still felt sick, but a little bit better than what he was earlier. He watched as Rachel walked in stiffly. She didn't look at him, keeping her eyes on the floor. She sat on the opposite side of the room. She didn't look up when Mr. Shue came in, staring at her hands. James sighed. Jesse had told. He didn't know if he was relieved or upset. Rachel didn't look at him once.<p>

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into her house, numb. Her dads had a business dinner and wouldn't be home until late. She ate dinner and sat down to watch Funny Girl. She wore her silky soft pajama shorts, had a hot cup of delicious tea, and even a friendly text from Kurt. All of these things usually cheered her up. She felt empty. Why hadn't he told her? She closed her eyes and thought back to her talk with Jesse.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"I came to school this morning Rachel. I heard somebody puking in the weight room. I went in and saw it was James. After he was calmer he told me that his recent unintentional overdose had him all wigged out. He can't sleep. He can't be calm. I really think he needs help. Rehab, a therapist, something," Jesse paused, Not looking at Rachel.<em>

_"Why didn't he tell me?" she said softly, pain clear in her voice. Jesse felt his heart sink. When Rachel got quiet, that was when she was at her worst. He looked up. Her face was etched with worry and sadness. She met his eyes and turned away, this was still the Jesse that hurt James and her. This was still the Jesse who had egged her and had played her. These thoughts passed her brain, but she was tired of being angry with people. Even so, she didn't want him to see her like this. Jesse stood and stepped closer._

_"He didn't even want me to tell you. I think he's tired of hurting you. He wants to get through this by himself. His pride and his love for you got in the way," Jesse said slowly and gently. Rachel was quiet, still facing away._

_"If he didn't want you to tell me, why did you?" she asked, slowly turning to face Jesse. Jesse thought about it and all the sudden words poured out._

_"Because I'm sorry. For everything. I was terrible to you even though I love you. Making James doubt you and all of that was jealousy and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret it. The way I treated you when we first dated was even worse. You are worth so much more than that and..." Jesse said in one breath. Rachel put a finger to her__ lips._

_"I forgive you. And please forget about it," Rachel said. Jesse wanted to punch the wall. She was looking at him with gratitude. But behind that was still a deep sadness. He went still as she stood on her tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek. He felt a tear run down her face onto his own cheek. _

_"Thank you," she whispered. He watched her walk away, shoulders slumped and hands in her jean pockets. He watched the girl he loved walk away from him, only wishing he could help somehow. _

* * *

><p>Rachel sat on the couch, remembering. She stood up all the sudden and ran to the door, slipping on her flip flops, not caring she was in her shorts and sweatshirt. She found herself running on autopilot. She was driving to James' house but she wasn't focusing on anything but what she would say to him. She made it an pulled into his driveway. Rachel shut off the car and let out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding. After pulling herself together she got out of the car and walked to the door. She paused and knocked. She waited and soon the door opened.<p>

"Hi Mrs. Richards," Rachel said, stepping inside.

"How many times do I have to tell you Rachel? Call me Kate," she said, smiling kindly at Rachel. Rachel detected a bit of sympathy in the woman's eyes.

"Is James here?" Rachel asked. She watched as Mrs. Richards sighed.

"I only came home to grab a bite before going back. Rachel, would you mind coming with me?" she said. Something in the woman's eyes told Rachel that this was important.

Rachel stepped out of the car with Mrs. Richards. They were on the outskirts of Lima. They walked into a nice building with an even nicer interior. James' mom walked through the lobby and straight into a hallway. She ushered Rachel into a very well-furnished office. Rachel sank down in a plush leather chair.

"Mrs. Schmidt will be in in just a second. I texted her earlier and she said that she wanted to meet you and talk to you," Mrs. Richards said. She stopped and looked at Rachel's face. She bent down and kissed Rachel's forehead.

"James is here. You can talk to him after you finish with Mrs. Schmidt," she said gently. Rachel nodded, giving a small smile that disappeared the moment Mrs. Richards left. Something was very wrong. Mrs. Richards was acting strangely. Rachel laced her fingers together and tried to clear her head, but her mind wouldn't shut up. Just when she thought she might explode, the door opened. A well-dressed woman walked in. Rachel thought she looked like Julie Andrews in the Princess Diaries.

"It's very nice to finally meet you, Rachel Berry," the woman said. She sat down in the armchair next to Rachel, even though she had a gorgeous desk with a gold plaque that read Mrs. Carol Schmidt. She was giving Rachel a warm smile.

"I remember when I met James. You wouldn't believe the difference. Back then his problem was that he believed himself totally inconsequential. He didn't see himself as somebody who mattered or somebody who could effect anything. Then he met you. All of the sudden everything changed. He had something. You really are the center of his world. His insecurities and depression were helped greatly by you," Mrs. Schmidt said. She stopped searching Rachel's face.

"And his overdose?" Rachel got out. Her mouth was bone dry but she felt tears about to come out of her eyes at any moment.

"I'm afraid the overdose has worsened his condition. He wouldn't be in such terrible shape if he hadn't have kept it from you. I believe that, through all of his struggles in the past year, you've made it so much easier for him. If you'd have helped him with this, he wouldn't be as bad," she stopped to shush Rachel, who had opened her mouth.

"I know. It's alright. I'm sure you knew something was wrong, am I correct?" The woman said. Rachel nodded. Slowly she said,

"He was quiet. He always seemed tired. But I could tell he didn't want me to know what was going on with him," Rachel said, eyes watering, close to spilling over. She had a terrible feeling that Mrs. Schmidt was sugarcoating her words. Rachel braced herself.

"The adrenaline that was constantly with him made his depression worse. It's all in his head. His thoughts and reactions were so much faster. Even your presence only could help so much," Mrs. Schmidt said. She stopped, stood up and walked to her desk.

"I'm very sorry to tell you this, Miss Berry, but James needs to go to rehab. I have recommended that you do not join him," Mrs. Schmidt watched as a few tears fell from Rachel's tired eyes, the tears that she'd had managed to keep back for as long as she could.

"Please let me explain. James needs to purge everything. His mind, his body, and his soul. I normally base my observations on my patients with science. James is a special case. He's a special boy. His heart and his head are the same thing. There really isn't a distinction. Believe me, there is no possible way he will forget what you two have. Your bond is what I think will help him the most," the woman said, not looking at Rachel.

"What? If our relationship is what's going to help him the most, then why can't I go with him?" Rachel asked, tears still falling, but defiance in her eyes.

"The unpredictability of your actions, dreams, and love and James' reactions to these things," Mrs. Schmidt said. Rachel stared at the woman. Mrs. Schmidt sighed and sat at her desk.

"I see you aren't accepting this. I'll let you know that James' mother agrees with me," the woman said. Rachel was staring at her hands in her lap again, blinking back more tears. Nothing made sense. She didn't agree. At all. Mrs. Schmidt looked at human emotions like everything was black and white. Yes or no. Rachel looked up, trying to keep from shaking.

"And... how long will he be gone. In rehab?" Rachel asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Well. That depends. A month would do him good but..."

"But nothing. James and I are in love. You really think splitting us up is the way to do this?" Rachel said incredulously, standing up with a new found fire. She continued, "Work with me. Help me help him. Show me how to be there for him if I'm doing it wrong."

Rachel almost screamed in frustration as she watched Mrs. Schmidt observed her, as if she was looking at a lab rat.

"Would you like to see him?" she asked.

"Very much," Rachel whispered. The fire of strength was gone. Mrs. Schmidt told Rachel that James was across the hall. Rachel nodded and left. She put her hand on the handle and took a deep breath. Her head was throbbing. She pressed down the handle and pushed open the door.

James sat on a big window sill, staring outside. It had started to rain. He turned when Rachel opened the door. They simply stared at each other for a while.

"You're leaving?" Rachel said weakly.  
>"I have to. For you," James said. He hopped down and stood in front of her. She was shaking and looked like she might actually fall down. She looked down, noticing that James' hands were trembling terribly.<br>"No you don't. You didn't tell me about your overdose trouble and its made you worse. You think getting further away is better?"  
>"I need to get this under control. I've put you through way too much hell. I hate hurting you."<br>"Look at me," Rachel whispered, "I'm practically about to collapse at the thought of you leaving. You want to help me? Stay." Silence.

"Mom and I are leaving for Banff in..."

"Banff," Rachel all but whimpered. She put a hand on the door frame. Canada. He was leaving the country. Tears began to fall. James took a step forward as if to comfort her and touch her. She shook her head, backing up. She bit her lip and met those beautiful turquoise eyes that looked into her soul. She ran out. Away from him. Past his mother. Out of the building. With sobs shaking her whole body. Rachel stopped outside, soaked in a minute, thoughts going crazy.

Kurt. Kurt lived on this side of town. She ran, towards where she thought his neighborhood was. Finally, after long minutes of running, she made it. She ran up his front steps, still sobbing, but now panting out of breath. The sky was getting dark.

* * *

><p>Blaine sighed contentedly. Kurt was in his arms. They had the house to themselves. They were watching The Vow, Kurt's choice. He must've seen it a thousand times, but he loved it, even though the ending was terrible. He was just drifting off when the doorbell rang. Kurt looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. Blaine smiled and got up. He wondered who could be out when it was raining and dark. He opened the door and froze.<p>

"Rachel?" he gasped. He took in the girl. She was soaked through. She was shaking so hard that it looked like she might collapse. Tears fell from her eyes.

"Kurt?" he called. He moved forward. He pulled the girl into his arms, knowing that if he didn't support her, she'd probably collapse. Kurt came out.

"Oh my god. I'll take her," he said. Blaine watched as Kurt all but carried Rachel up the stairs and into the guest room. Blaine eventually started pacing. He sat on the stairs, not knowing if he should check on them. After an hour, Kurt came down, looking worried. He and Blaine went and sat back down on the couch. Kurt was silent for a minute. Then looked up.

"It's James. He's leaving and she doesn't know for how long. Blaine, that haunted look in her eyes? It's back."


	25. With Me

**Hello lovely, patient readers. I'm so sorry that I am so slow updating. Anyway, as it was said in the previous chapter, James will soon be exiting the story, as of now, for an undetermined period of time. Feel free to tell me if you have any ideas for what Rachel can do with her time :). I really hope you enjoy this chapter, cuz it took me a while to think up. REVIEW!**

**Song: With Me by Sum 41**

* * *

><p>Kurt pulled into his spot in the senior parking lot, cutting the engine with a sigh. He turned and looked at the girl in his passenger seat. Rachel sat looking straight ahead. He had, after much coaxing with ice cream and musicals on DVD, gotten the story out of Rachel. He still didn't entirely understand. James had overdosed. He needed to go to rehab. That rehab happened to be in Canada. Banff, to be exact. Kurt had heard of it. It was a gorgeous spa town with lots of cool shopping and hiking. But Rachel didn't want him to go.<p>

"_She needs him just as much as he needs her_," a tiny voice in the back of Kurt's mind said for the thousandth time. He knew that was right.

"Ready?" he asked. Rachel had stayed at his place for the weekend. Her dads were once again gone, and being alone wasn't what was best for Rachel right now.

"Thanks for this weekend," Rachel said sweetly, looking up so that brown eyes met blue. Kurt's heart melted. He shook his head, implying that no thanks was necessary. He'd had fun with her, or as much as could be expected. They'd gone shopping and he'd done her hair and nails numerous times. Even now, though she was sad, she looked gorgeous. They had found cool leggings that had Van Goghs' Starry Night printed all over them. She wore a long white t-shirt and a dark grey leather jacket over them. She had short lace up black boots on.

"Really, I'm sorry I kind of threw all of this on you," Rachel said, persisting.

"Well, you're welcome," Kurt said, giving up. He smiled at his friend, then got out. The two walked into the school together, talking about Regionals.

Rachel spotted Matt near his locker. She said goodbye to Kurt and walked over. He smiled at her, saddened by the weary look that she had about her.

"Hey," she said, leaning against the locker next to Matt's.

"How are you?" he asked, sounding concerned, he'd talked to Kurt.

"I'm better than I was Friday night," she said evasively. Matt raised an eyebrow.

"Look... right now, I... just can't talk about it," Rachel said hesitantly and honestly.

"Sure. Take your time," Matt said, pulling a notebook from his locker and shutting it, "Anyway, I was talking with Mrs. Solomon last night and she was wondering about your progress. I told her how good you were doing," Matt said smiling. He saw this made Rachel happy. "Any ideas for our number for Regionals?" he asked, walking next to her down the hallway.

"Yeah, actually I do," Rachel said.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into the glee room early. She sat down and moments later, James came in and sat next to her. He looked like he'd gotten as much sleep as she had that weekend: none.<p>

"Rachel can I talk to you at lunch?" James asked after a quiet moment.

"Yes," Rachel said, raising her eyes to meet his. She felt her heart give a tiny painful squeeze. He was leaving her. Again.

* * *

><p>Rachel gingerly sat down next to James at an empty table. The lunch room was buzzing with noise and laughter. James had bought her lunch and was looking at her now, like he was memorizing her face.<p>

"Say it," Rachel said. James sighed and ran both of his hands through his curls.

"I'm leaving after Regionals, next week. Rachel, I have to go," James said.

"To Canada? Thousands of miles away?" Rachel asked, almost whispering. He nodded.

"Rachel... you are what's best for me. But this OD is messing with my head and my depression. It's driving it into haywire and I need to get that under control. I hurt you once and it's not going to happen again. I promise you that. Being around you has always made me feel more, and with this overdose, that isn't a good thing right now. Please understand," James breathed, whispering the last part. He took both her hands. He watched as a tear fell from her face and she bent her head.

"I'm tired of saying goodbye," she all but whimpered.

"I know," James said softly. He couldn't say anything else.

"I'll miss you every single day," Rachel said in a shaky voice, breathing deeply to control herself.

"And I'll miss you every single second," he said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. Then he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

* * *

><p>After school that day, they had rehearsal for Regionals. Rachel proposed her idea for the group number, which she and Matt would take the leads on. It was met with approval. Brittany and Mike were going to help Rachel and Matt with the choreography.<p>

Then to everybody's surprise, James raised his hand when Mr. Shuester asked who was interested in singing the solo. Kurt, James, and Mercedes all auditioned, going into Mr. Shuester's office one at a time. Mr. Shuester came out and announced that James got the solo.

"James, would you please tell the group what you told me about the number?" Mr. Shuester said, sorting through some sheet music at the piano. James stood to stand in front of the group, he looked at Rachel for a moment, then at the rest of the club.

"I'm leaving after Regionals. For those who don't know, Callie messed with my meds, and I ended up overdosing. My therapist and mom both think that it's best that I get out of Lima, at least for a little while, and go to rehab. But for Regionals, I want my song to be a goodbye. To Rachel," James said, eyes going back to her. He saw them sparkling and knew she was thankful.

He took a deep breath and nodded at the band. They began to play. He sang with all he had for the second time. Mr. Shuester had been impressed. Now he didn't disappoint. Everybody stood clapping. Except one person. Everybody looked at her.

Her teeth were gritted and a few angry tears had fallen. She stood with fists clenched and walked out of the room, shaking her head at James when he started to follow her out. Kurt began to follow but was surprised when a perfectly manicured hand stopped him. Santana met Kurt's eyes and shook her head. He bit his lip, rolling back on his heels.

* * *

><p>James walked into the Lima Bean after school. He wasn't allowed to have caffeine since he was already jittery so he sat down with a green tea and waited, checking his watch over and over. Finally Jesse arrived. He nodded to James when he walked in, ordered a chai latte and sat across from James.<p>

"I'm guessing you know why I asked you to meet me?" James said, raising an eyebrow.

"You are going to Banff, Canada for rehab in a week you want me to stay and watch Rachel," Jesse said after a moment.

"Dude. How did you..." James trailed off.

"Rachel texted me the first part. I guessed the second," Jesse shrugged. He took a sip of his latte and waited.

"I have to go," James said forcefully but quietly, leaning forward, looking Jesse in the eye.

"I know," Jesse said, nodding and looking away. He looked back at James. "You're going to hurt her either way. In the long run, this is better for everybody." Jesse drained his latte and stood.

"So... You'll stay?" James asked. Jesse smirked. "Ohio U is thirty minutes away. I've pretty much had a full ride since I won Vocal Adrenaline our first Nationals. My family still has a house here." James rolled his eyes and watched Jesse walk out. He wasn't sure how he felt about the new swagger in Jesse's walk. But he knew it was because Jesse suddenly would be seeing a lot more of Rachel. He sighed, leaning back in his seat. Jesse, for all his faults, truly cared about Rachel and would make sure she was okay.

* * *

><p>Kurt walked into school with Blaine the next day, worried. He'd texted Rachel over twenty times the night before. She had disappeared, not talking to anybody. After being with her constantly all weekend, Kurt was as worried as a parent who had lost their child.<p>

He spotted her sitting in the school commons, sitting on a bench with her headphones in. She was texting somebody, a smile edging on her lips. She wore baggy black sweatpants with a simple fitted white t-shirt. She had the high tops that Mrs. Solomon had gotten for her on. Her hair still looked damp from a recent shower, but was drying into her pretty wavy hair. Kurt took in the circles under her eyes. She finished her text and closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the ceiling high window behind her, breathing evenly. Kurt started towards her, he felt Blaine grab his hand.

"Kurt," Blaine said simply, looking in Kurt's eyes. Kurt sighed and nodded. Rachel had obviously pulled an allnighter in her dance studio in her basement. She had told him that she often did that to clear her head. He watched as Matt sat down beside her. She talked to him, still looking tired, but a little happier. Kurt sighed and let Blaine lead him away, talking about West Side Story, the school's musical that had been announced the previous day.

* * *

><p>Rachel had gotten to school at seven. She'd plopped herself down on a bench and drowned out the world blasting her iPod. She was tired. She'd spent the night dancing and singing. Every part of her was angry. At her situation. At James' situation. At Callie. At pharmacists. At Mrs. Schmidt. At James' mom. At James. She just wanted everything to stop being so sad and painful. She'd looked at the clock in the dance studio and had been shocked to see it was six in the morning. She'd made coffee and hopped in the shower, not even bothering to put on makeup, or do her hair.<p>

She was going to perform today in glee. For James. She'd spent the night going over everything. It had taken time to sort through her emotions. She'd gone through her entire musical repertoire. She needed to get how she felt across.

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and pulled it out.

**Jesse: I just want u to know that I am here for u. **

**Rachel: Thanks :) If I know James, I'm guessing u have talked to him**

**Jesse: he wants me to stay for you**

**Rachel: Are u going 2? Or is it back to Juilliard for u?**

**Jesse: And miss all your drama? **

**Rachel: :)**

**Jesse: Did I really just make you smile? You remember?**

**Rachel: Of course I remember and you really did make me smile. **

**Jesse: Mission accomplished**

**Rachel: Maybe while you're here you can teach me what u've picked up at school. **

**Jesse: My brain is yours for the picking **

**Rachel: Thanks! I'll see you later, K?**

**Jesse: See you**

Rachel let out a big sigh and leaned back, relaxing her face and clearing her thoughts, letting the window, cold from the winter air outside, calm her and her growing headache. Jesse. Her friend. It was refreshing. She felt somebody sit beside her.

"Hey Matt," she said, pulling out her headphones.

"So why did you drop off the map yesterday?" he asked.

"I needed to be alone with my thoughts," Rachel answered honestly, smiling slightly.

"That's cool," Matt said, nodding, "And what have your thoughts revealed to you?"

"You'll see in glee," she said. She stood as the warning bell rang, listening to Matt talk about some new DJing equipment he'd gotten.

* * *

><p>The glee kids filed into the auditorium. Rachel went to Mr. Schuester, asking if she could perform. He nodded. Regionals was important, but he knew that Rachel sometimes needed to clear her mind and get out of her head. This was how she did it. He quieted everybody. Rachel had slipped off her sweatpants and shoes. She wore her dance spandex underneath. This dance was made of what she was feeling. She stood center stage and got in position. The guitar player started and then Rachel started, looking straight at James.<p>

**I don't want this moment to ever end,**

**Where everything's nothing without you.**

**I'd wait here forever just to, to see you smile,**

Singing the line, she thought of how she'd do anything to see James truly happy, even if he was in another country.

**'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.**

She began to move, preparing to lose it.

**Through it all, I've made my mistakes.**

**I stumble and fall, but I mean these words.**

She entered the part of the dance that she'd been working on all through the night.

**I want you to know,**

**With everything I won't let this go.**

**These words are my heart and soul.**

The club were rooted into their seats. Everybody knew Rachel could rock, but they'd never heard the raw power that emanated from her now. Puck whopped in encouragement.

**I'll hold on to this moment, you know,**

**As I bleed my heart out to show,**

**And I won't let go.**

**Thoughts read, unspoken, forever in vow,**

**And pieces of memories fall to the ground.**

Rachel's thoughts drifted to the summer, where her life had truly been changed.

**I know what I didn't have, so I won't let this go,**

**'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.**

**All the streets, where I walked alone,**

She thought of the previous Friday night, where she'd felt so lost, running through the cold December air, finding herself at Kurt's.

**With nowhere to go, have come to an end.**

**I want you to know,**

**With everything I won't let this go.**

**These words are my heart and soul.**

**I'll hold on to this moment, you know,**

**As I bleed my heart out to show,**

**And I won't let go.**

**In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,**

**When you don't know what you're looking to find.**

**In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,**

**When you just never know what you will find.**

She stopped, chest heaving and closed her eyes then sang to James, and James alone.

**I don't want this moment to ever end,**

**Where everything's nothing without you.**

Rachel paused quickly, then threw herself back into the song, dancing right on the brink of not being able to sing.

**I want you to know,**

**With everything I won't let this go.**

**These words are my heart and soul.**

**I'll hold on to this moment, you know,**

**As I bleed my heart out to show,**

**And I won't let go.**

**I want you to know,**

**With everything I won't let this go.**

**These words are my heart and soul.**

**I'll hold on to this moment, you know,**

**As I bleed my heart out to show,**

**And I won't let go.**

She stopped, out of breath. She watched as everybody in the club stood and clapped. She was out of breath. James hopped up on the stage and walked to Rachel. Getting closer he saw tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said. Rachel knew he meant for everything.

"Don't be," Rachel said. She threw her arms around his neck, on her tip toes. He set her down and she took a few steps back. She sighed and looked at the ground. She then looked at Mr. Schuester.

"Time for Regionals rehearsal, Mr. Shue?" she said. The teacher smiled and looked at the group.

"From the top," he said.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into the Lima Bean after school, desperately needing caffeine and her mother, both were waiting for her when she walked in. She was wrapped him her mother's arms and breathed in Shelby's crisp perfume. She felt better. Shelby had been in Cincinnati seeing friends for a week and a half.<p>

"Is that what you wore to school?" Shelby asked, as they sat down. Rachel smiled. She and her mother exchanged a few pleasantries and then Rachel jumped into her story. She let everything out, telling Shelby about everything. About Callie and what she'd done. About New York. About Mrs. Schmidt and the overdose. About Canada. She told about her recent struggle with her emotions and her performance today. Shelby listened. She leaned across the table when Rachel was done. Rachel braced herself, knowing that her mother was about to give her good advice.

"I think that this time apart from James is as much a rehab for you as it is him. You say Jesse's staying? You'd be surprised but that boy, once motivated, is an excellent friend. Get closer with Kurt. Do the school musical. Practice for Mrs. Solomon. Keep yourself busy and focused on the future. Forget about the pain and unpleasantness of the past. Focus on yourself. That's something you haven't done for quite some time." Rachel sat back in her seat, taking in what her mother had said.

"Oh, and I hope you don't have plans this weekend. You and I are going out of town to do some serious pampering," Shelby said, smiling.


	26. I'll Hold My Breath

**I'm back lovely people! It seems I write better later at night with LOTS of caffeine! Tell me what you think!**

**Song: I'll Hold My Breath by Ellie Goulding **

Rachel sat in the spa chair, listening to the soothing music coming over the speakers, watching her toes being painted a pretty pink. She looked out the windows to a pretty scene, straight out of a Narnia movie. There were tall evergreen trees covered with powdery, pure white snow. She sighed and leaned back, closing her eyes. She heard her mother, talking easily with the woman who was doing her nails across the room.

Rachel was torn. Her mother had brought her here to make her feel better. She had to admit, so much of her tension and stress was slowly being eased out. But in the pit of her stomach, there was a tightness, as if she was braced for impact. James kept leaving her. He kept leaving and she kept on being beaten and bruised. Being with him felt so good. She blinked quickly to keep tears from falling. Half of her wanted to jump up and run to Lima right that second to be with him. To make the most of every second they had until...

"_No," _she thought strongly. She wouldn't open that line of thinking. She glanced up and saw her mother peeking at her. Rachel gave a small smile. Shelby returned it and turned to Quinn who sat beside her. She had asked Quinn to come. Ever since Callie had made them reevaluate their friendship, Rachel had been looking for a chance to spend time with the girl. They already had had many girl talks and Rachel was very glad they were back in each others lives.

Shelby examined her daughter, who had looked away again and was looking back out the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, obviously a million miles away. Or seventy-six miles away in Lima. She sighed. Shelby just wanted some way to stop this. Rachel had been emotionally thrown around the whole year. Ups and downs with very few middles. How many more times until Rachel couldn't take it any more. Shelby blinked rapidly to keep her thoughts from going in that direction. She resumed talking to Quinn, who was holding Beth in her lap, playing with the little girl. But she was still worried.

* * *

><p>Rachel opened the front door of her house. Her fathers were back in Lima but at a meeting that cold Sunday afternoon. They'd promised they'd be back in for dinner. Rachel lugged all of her stuff from the weekend upstairs. After changing into sweats and a tshirt, she plopped down at her computer and checked her email. She smiled when she saw she had an email from none other than Sebastian Smythe. He had kept his promise and sent her some of his favorite pictures that he'd taken with his parents from China and then India. She scrolled through. Each was more beautiful than the last. At the bottom there was the usual greeting followed by something new.<p>

**Rachel,**

**Hi! Hope you like these. India was a blast! **

**Also, my parents have to stop in New York for a couple days before we fly over to Oregon. There's some gorgeous waterfalls that they want pics of. Anyway, they said I could meet them there! I'll be in Lima on Wednesday. Wanna have coffee? We should catch up.**

**-Seb **

Rachel smiled and grabbed her phone.

**Rachel: See you Wednesday :) U can show me more of ur awesome pictures!**

**Sebastion: Will do! Cant wait **

Rachel couldn't help but smile. She did want to see him. He was a great talker and listener. She was emptying her duffel into the laundry basket when the doorbell rang. She went down the stairs, turning up the thermostat; she was freezing.

She opened the door. All bound up in coats and scarves was James, Mrs. Richards, and Mrs. Schmidt.

"Um hi. Come in," she said, stepping aside so they could come in out of the cold.

"I was just going to make some hot chocolate. Do you guys want some?" Rachel asked after a moment of chilly silence.

"That'd be lovely, Rachel. I'll help you, then we can all talk," Mrs. Richards said unbuttoning her trench coat. Rachel nodded and met James eyes with a tiny, tired smile.

James watched Rachel walk into the kitchen with his mother. He led Mrs. Schmidt into the living room. Mrs Schmidt sat in an arm chair and got on her phone. James listened to the sound of his mother and Rachel talking quietly.

Everytime he saw Rachel, since the night she found out he was leaving she seemed more tired and worn out. It was his fault. That's why he'd asked for this meeting. He understood that Rachel inspired the best and worst of his emotions. That's why contact between the two had to be monitored. He looked up as the two walked in. Rachel held a large tray with four steaming mugs on it. She distributed them and sat down gingerly by James. He breathed in. She smelled like she always did. Like strawberries and sunlight. He thought back. That had been a lyric in the song he'd sung to her asking her to Homecoming. At which he'd left. Hurting her. Again.

"Rachel, I've been talking to Mrs. Schmidt. She agreed that we can have some kind of communication, though limited," James said. He looked at her.

"I have an idea. Two actually," Rachel said.

"Yes?" Mrs Schmidt said.

"Pictures and songs," Rachel said, smiling up at James, "We can take pictures of what's going on around us and send them to each other. Then we can sing to each other with videos or something."

"That sounds very reasonable... And romantic," Mrs. Richards said with a smile. Rachel smiled back. Recently she hadn't been sure about Mrs. Richards. In the kitchen she'd talked to the often stony woman. She'd apologized for everything and had given Rachel a hug.

"I think that would be alright," Mrs. Schmidt said. Rachel wasn't sure but she thought the stony woman's eyes were watering. Then the composure was back. The two women stood and said goodbye. They were going to wait for James in the car. They were gone.

James sighed. He wanted to say something. Something that would ease all her pain. He was carefully choosing his words when Rachel twisted and placed a soft kiss on his temple. Then she rested her forehead on his when he turned to face her. He saw her eyes were closed. He closed his too. Just loving the moment with her. Rachel opened her eyes and placed a tiny hand over his heart. It was beating fast. This was normal because of the OD. She was watching her hand. He interlaced his fingers with hers over his heart. She looked up into his eyes, holding them. They sat, neither moving. Just feeling the heartbeat. Then Rachel grabbed his free hand with hers and placed it over her heart. He felt the steady rhythm, slower than his own. Slowly, imperceptibly at first, he felt his heartbeat slow. Soon it matched hers. He looked down at his hand on her heart. Then looked back up at her face. Tears fell down onto her cheeks and she smiled. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into school the next morning, a Monday, feeling alright. She reached her locker and pulled off her big coat. She wore a simple sheer white dress that cinched at her waist, a grey knit cardigan and black tights. She wore her shearling lined grey suede ankle booties. Her hair was gathered in a low side bun.<p>

"Hi Rachel! You look pretty!" Brittany said, walking up with Santana, pinkies linked.

"You do Berry," Santana said, "Anyway, Britt and I were gonna go to The Beat tomorrow night. We are kidnapping your tiny butt tomorrow and there will be no arguing that."

"Sounds good," Rachel said with a smile. Santana nodded and began to walk off.

"See you in glee!" Brittany yelled over her shoulder as they walked off. Rachel nodded and walked off to her first class.

After school was a big practice for Regionals. Rachel found herself enjoying it. She threw herself into the group number. At the end, of the number she was posed with James.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you," she whispered back.

The next morning, Rachel woke up to find Santana and Brittany on either side of her in her bed.

"Ahh," she yelled. Jumping up and landing at the end of her bed, she twisted to see Brittany sit up drowsily and Santana rolling her eyes with a smile on her face.

"Your dads let us in," Brittany said, smiling brightly, hugging Barbra the teddy bear to her chest.

"We're kidnapping you," Santana said, smirking.

"Um why?" Rachel asked, running her hand through her tangled mess of hair, letting out a yawn. She was wearing an oversize New York Yankees t-shirt, obviously James'.

"Because of those," Brittany said pointedly at the dark circles under Rachel's eyes, gesturing to her own well-rested eyes.

"Today you'll want for nothing," Santana said with a flourish and stood up. Brittany nodded in agreement.

"First we have a prezzie from none other than Mrs. Solomon, Kurt and I," Brittany said smiling, gesturing to a long, thin box on Rachel's desk.

"I can't wait," Rachel said, rolling off the bed, and walked into her bathroom.

"How's your internship?" Rachel called as she washed her face with her grapefruit scrub.

"It's amazing. I actually talked to the Betsey Johnson yesterday on the phone. It was insane," Brittany squealed, bouncing a little in excitement, "Then apparently Matt sent Mrs. Solomon a video of me dancing and she thought I was super talented and I could go to New York next summer maybe and.." Brittany continued babbling on. Rachel began brushing her teeth, smiling to herself at Brittany's happiness. She came out to find Brittany still talking and laughed when Santana pressed her lips to Brittany's for a chaste kiss to quiet the rambling girl. This escalated rather quickly.

"The guest room is down the hall," Rachel said with a sad smile, turning away.

"Aww Rach, we're sorry!" Brittany said.

"No really, you're fine," Rachel said, "Are you sure?" Santana asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Could you go down and start the coffee?" she said, putting a smile on her lips. The two agreed and went out of her room. Rachel heard them talking to her dads. She sighed and scolded herself for getting worked up about a simple kiss between her two friends. She knew that in a week, she'd have nobody to kiss.

"You look great!" Brittany squealed when Rachel came downstairs in the outfit Brittany had put together herself with help from Mrs. Solomon and Kurt. Rachel wore a cozy black oversize sweater over fun blue, red, yellow, and black striped leggings that had snowflakes. She had warm chestnut button Uggs that were folded over ( /view/1807225).

Rachel said good morning to her fathers. They gave her a kiss on the cheeks and said goodbye. They were going to a bed and breakfast for the weekend. They left and Rachel turned to the two Cheerios. Brittany was smiling smugly at the outfit.

"I thought Christmas sweater leggings would go well with the snow, Brittany said excitedly.

Rachel bounded over to the window and couldn't help the smile that came on her face. Overnight it had snowed, covering the ground in a perfect blanket. She grabbed a thermos and filled it as quickly as she could with the warm, streaming coffee and all but dragged Santana and Brittany out into the Winter Wonderland.

The two Cheerios smiled, Rachel looked like a child on Christmas morning.

"You really like snow, don't you Berry?" Santana said, watching as the tiny star turned around slowly, looking at the blinding white, all around her.

"Ever since I was little. I love it," Rachel said.

* * *

><p>James shut his locker. He'd just cleared things with the school about his leave of absence.<p>

"Hey dude," Puck said, coming up beside him with the rest of the glee guys, "How're you doing?"

"Alright I guess," James said, eyes tightening. Puck nodded. He wanted to help, James had become one of his bros and he'd do anything for his Jewish American Princess. All the other guys felt the same way.

The doors to the school opened, letting in a bluster of chilly air. Students turned at the sudden entrance. Rachel entered, Santana and Brittany on either side. McKinley High was speechless. Rachel looked amazing with bright eyes, red cheeks and a small smile that made all of the guys stop and stare. Girls looked on in envy.

James was struck. She was gorgeous. She was everything. His already pounding heart sped up. His sleepless night seemed to never have happened. Puck smirked and elbowed James, who came to himself.

Rachel walked in and felt herself blush. Brittany and Santana _had_ to enter dramatically. With eyes on her, she continued walking. Then she met James' eyes. He stood with the rest of the guys. He looked gorgeous. As their eyes met, he smiled. Rachel came up to him.

James wasn't sure what it was. She looked good. Better than he'd seen her in forever. She reached forward and grabbed his hand in her small cold one, smiling when she felt how warm it was. He took both of her hands, and brought them up to his mouth so he could blow warm air on her cold fingers. She smiled bigger. The group all walked off together, talking quietly about Regionals.

* * *

><p>They had glee at the end of the school day. After an excellent rehearsal, everybody was getting their stuff. Santana stood up on Mr. Shuester's table and yelled.<p>

"Hey guys party at Rachel's. Starting... NOW!" Everybody cheered, laughing at Rachel's surprised face. She smiled and shrugged, nodding.

The whole club got to Rachel's empty house, bundled up and went and played in the deep snow in Rachel's front yard. Rachel's neighbors, not used to seeing such craziness, couldn't help but laugh at the high schoolers, who were playing like there was no tomorrow. Several snowmen were made, Blaine's being the best with its bow tie. A huge snowball war broke out. Forts were made and sides were chosen for the most epic snowball fight of the century. Rachel was fighting hard when James scooped her up, running around with her cradled in his arms. Just then it began to snow softly, with huge flakes. James stopped, and the two looked at all the snow falling, marveling at how pretty it was.

* * *

><p>Rachel sat in her living room, sipping hot chocolate. The club had completely taken over her house, which had at times seemed huge and cold and empty. Not anymore. Some people had taken showers. Her fridge had been raided. Sam and Puck had guitars and the group was jamming.<p>

"Rachel! Sing something!" Puck yelled. Rachel thought and then looked at Tina.

"Tina? Remember that one song?" She called. She watched as Tina's eyes lit up, remembering.

"Brittany?" Tina said, standing up from next to Mike. Brittany nodded. The three stood up in the cleared space and faced the club. Rachel handed her laptop to Matt after pulling up what she wanted. Her fathers had installed wireless speakers around the house, for her to practice anywhere. Rachel had changed into a dark blue long sleeve cotton t-shirt dress over black leggings. The music began and the girls began a dance that they'd thought up long ago, not doing anything with it until now.

(**Rachel, **_Tina, _Brittany, _**All**_)

Rachel walked up and began singing the haunting melody.

**Breathe air you're not used to, tread floors you don't fall through**

_Make waves..._

_You crash a symbol hard_

_Follow no one, always play the wrong card_

Waste days, in foreign places

Shed lights, on your better side

Rachel locked her eyes on James'.

**Reassure me that you'll wait for me, wait for me as long as it takes!**

_And I'll hold my breath, _I'll hold my breath

The girls began dancing, perfectly in sync.

_**Until you see me in your dreams**_

**WE'll stay awake beneath the trees**

**We'll watch the buildings turn to dust**

_**A sky of diamonds just for us**_

_**You are the risk I'll always take**_

_**The only branch I'll never break**_

_**Thsoe fears we'll blow them all way**_

_Fight fires in your best clothes, _

Tina walked forward, sweetly touching Mike's cheek.

_touch skin with your eyes closed_

Chase thunder...

With the volume down

**Pack a suitcase, wonder to the next town**

**Force quit, on your losing streak**

**Solve a riddle in a magazine, be tongue in cheek**

_**Tell me that we're still too young, that we're still too young and I'll hold my tongue**_

_**Until you see me in your dreams**_

_**We'll stay awake beneath the trees**_

We'll watch the buildings turn to dust

_A sky of diamonds just for us_

**You are the risk I'll always take**

_**The only branch I'll never break**_

_**Those fears we'll blow them all way**_

Rachel came to stand right in front of James.

**I'm here, I'm here to take you**

**I'll swim, I'll swim to save you**

_**No fall, I'm here to catch you**_

_**I will swim**_

_**to save you**_

**Until you see me in your dreams**

**We'll stay awake beneath the trees**

_We'll watch the buildings turn to dust A sky of diamonds just for us_

**You are the risk I'll always take**

_**The only branch I'll never break**_

**Those fears we'll blow them all way**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked! Next chappie: REGIONALS! Review please :)<strong>


	27. Turning Page

**Yup. You're looking at the summary and thinking _she never ever updates and now she has the nerve to write four thousand words__._ ****Well yeah, I do. I love love love this story and this all once again tumbled out of me. Please tell me what you think! I love hearing from you!**

**Songs:  
>Hall of Fame by the Script<br>22 by Taylor Swift  
>Turning Page by Sleeping at Last<strong>

**ENJOY LOVELIES!**

* * *

><p>Turning Page<p>

The glee kids cheered after the three girls finished. Rachel made her way over to sit on James' lap.  
>"That was great," he whispered in her ear. Rachel smiled, and grabbed his hands. They were freezing. She brought them to her lips and blew hot air on them.<p>

The group hung out for a little while longer, just goofing off. Brittany turned on some Christmas music. Rachel giggled as she showed James how to waltz and soon they were doing it all around the room.  
>Kurt, from next to Blaine on another couch, watched the two, feeling torn. They looked so cute and happy. But behind his smile, James was breathing shallowly and was pale. He knew James was freezing, watching Rachel's efforts to warm him up again.<p>

They had the rest of this week together. Saturday was Regionals. James was leaving early Sunday morning. Soon Rachel would be sad again. Sad and alone. He sighed. Not if he had anything to do with it. He was determined to get her through this, no matter what. He looked over at Santana and nodded. She stood and said, in her no nonsense voice,  
>"Everybody has an hour to get sexy, cause we're going to the Beat!"<br>Everybody laughed. The girls all stood up and ran to Rachel's room, changing into their clothes, that they'd all been instructed by Santana to bring. Rachel put on a comfy white lace dress that was ombre into blue at the bottom. She put on some sheer black tights and some dark grey suede ankle booties. She wanted to be comfortable, and the shoes that Santana was pulling on looked anything but. She made her way downstairs to where the guys were inhaling the pizza that somebody had been smart to order. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

**Shelby: Hey, how are u?**  
><strong>Rachel: I'm alright... ish<strong>  
><strong>Shelby: Wanna talk?<strong>  
><strong>Rachel: Cant everybody is going to the Beat right now...<strong>  
><strong>Shelby: Oh i get it. Kinda bittersweet right?<strong>  
><strong>Rachel: Yeah, next sunday...<strong>  
><strong>Shelby: U will be fine, like i said, keep busy<strong>  
><strong>Rachel: I'll try<strong>  
><strong>Shelby: That's good, go have fun with your friends!<strong>

Rachel sighed and looked back in the family room. All of the guys were talking. James sat among them, talking about some basketball game. Despite the shaking of his hands and looking paler, he looked like one of them. Rachel backed up and leaned her head back on the wall, taking deep breaths. She knew she shouldn't dwell on James' looming departure. She should treasure the moments with him. She looked up, hearing somebody come down the stairs.

"Hey," Rachel said.  
>"Sup Berry, you look good. Are you okay?" Santana asked.<br>"We'll see, I guess. You look hot," Rachel said, putting smile on her face.  
>"Thank you. Now why aren't you out there with your man?" Santana asked, raising an eyebrow.<br>"Overthinking things, as always," Rachel replied, looking at the floor.

"Here's what's going to happen Rachel," the taller girl said, putting her hands on Rachel's shoulders, forcing her to look up into the Latina's eyes, "You are going to go to the club and have an amazing night with your boyfriend. Then you two are going to have an amazing week before Regionals, where we are going to kill it. Then you and James are going to have wild crazy goodbye sex and you're going to see him off at the airport. Then your life is going to go on. You have all of us to keep you busy. We'll have Nationals to get ready for and a musical to do. And there will be no whining or I will kick you in your tiny butt. Am I clear?"  
>"Crystal," Rachel said with a slow smile. She looked up and saw all the glee girls standing on the stairs, all smiling at her encouragingly.<br>"Now let's go dance our asses off!" Santana called, and everybody cheered. Rachel took James' hand and the two climbed into the back of Kurt's car. The night was amazing. Rachel couldn't remember being so happy. She took Santana's advice to heart and focused on James. Matt got up and after cheering from the McKinley kids, was allowed to take over for the DJ that was there. By the end of the night, even James wasn't as cold or pale. His eyes were sparkling and his cheeks were flushed. He walked Rachel up to her front porch and kissed her goodnight. It was a long and sweet kiss. Then from Rachel's driveway came a honk and catcalls from open windows. The guys were all waiting because the guys were having a sleepover. Rachel smiled into the kiss and pulled back, going up on her tiptoes to kiss James' cheek.

"Have fun," she said. James smiled at something over Rachel's head.

"You too," he said. Rachel laughed. Kurt's big car pulled up and all the glee girls spilled out. Each was clad in pajamas, holding snacks and sleeping bags. James kissed her forehead, smiling at her surprised face. Rachel released him, only to be half dragged into her house for a night of fun.

* * *

><p>The week passed in a blur of James, friends and rehearsals. Rachel and Matt's number was getting better every single day. Mr. Shuester was cracking down. Shelby came in at times and the tough coach of Vocal Adrenaline, long buried underneath Shelby's new role as a mother, was unearthed. The club was working harder than ever, and it brought them even closer. Every day that week they were either at the Lima Bean or somebody's house doing homework, going over dance steps, or reviewing music. Rachel, like Shelby, unearthed the inner beast bit by bit as the competition approached, knowing they had to pull off all the stops. Brittany, Tina and Kurt had called Mrs. Solomon who had sent out their rough designs to her Broadway costume designer friends, who gave their input. Artie was involved in the choreography with Mike, Matt and Brittany, trying to get the overall look of the show just right. Their setlist was big this year, having decided on three songs once more for their program. The only difference was that nothing would be decided last minute.<p>

* * *

><p>The glee club was ready and they would make this perfect for Rachel and James. A loss right before James' leaving would be no good. It was true that James was a little off in rehearsals, having to sit down and take deep breaths to get his heartbeat to slow. Nobody was more in tune to him than Rachel. She always was there with his water bottle and a kind smile and kiss to make him relax.<p>

* * *

><p>Rachel woke up and shut off her alarm. She rolled back over to snuggle back into James. He looked tired, with dark circles under his gorgeous eyes. Rachel lightly traced the black under his eyes, gritting her teeth. The less reasonable part of her had been hoping if she had paid extra attention to him this week, he would miraculously get better.<p>

"Did you sleep well?" James asked sweetly, and Rachel broke. Tears fell down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" James asked furrowing his brow, wiping away the tears stroking her face with his thumb.

"How did you sleep?" Rachel asked pointedly, breathing deeply to stop the tears. James hesitated.

"I got a couple hours in," he sighed. Rachel looked back at the clock. They had a lot of time before they had to be at Regionals at noon. She turned back to James.

"Well do you think you could sleep now?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know Rachel," he said looking out the window.

"I'll help you," Rachel said determinedly. She put a pillow on her lap and motioned for James to put his head on it. He did it, looking up at her expectantly.

"Do your deep breathing," she instructed. He complied. Then Rachel proceeded to sing every song that had ever mattered to the two of them. Falling Slowly, Chasing Cars, I Got You, Use Somebody, Faster, and more. A big smile came onto her face when she saw he'd drifted off. She began to simply hum softly and sat back against her headboard, happy that James was getting some well-deserved sleep.

* * *

><p>The two arrived at the venue and joined the rest of the glee clubbers in the green room. James had managed to sleep for four hours and had apologized for making Rachel sit. She told him not to worry about it; the circles were gone from his eyes and she and Blaine had an epic Words with Friends showdown. Rachel ran through some trills, testing her voice. She felt good. She had a good feeling about the competition.<p>

She walked to get her dress from Tina and slipped it on behind the girl's changing curtain. They had truly outdone themselves on the dresses. They were strapless. They were white and the skirt was a sheer white tulle skirt with rose petals scattered and collecting at the bottom. Each girl wore red strappy heels. Their hair was curled and pinned into a low side updo. The guys wore white shirts with the sleeves rolled up, thin red suspenders and black pants. Once she was ready, she walked over to James who was humming his solo to himself.

"Ready?" She asked, perching on his leg.

"As I'll ever be," he said with a grin. Rachel smiled back and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"All right you too," Shelby said, walking up to the couple. James smiled and stood, Rachel sank down on the couch and watched as Shelby warmed James up and ran him through his song. Each time Rachel heard it she got chills. Once he got on stage with the lights, the band, and the crowd, he would be magnificent, blowing everybody away. Rachel settled into the couch, forcing herself to relax. Her mind was on overdrive today. She shut her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to think of nothing. She felt somebody sit beside her. It was Kurt.

"Good luck today," he said, smiling brightly. She smiled back and nodded. He gave her hand a squeeze and went to help Finn with his suspenders. Rachel looked back at James. He was talking to Shelby. Rachel clenched her fists, willing her thoughts to stay away from his departure the next morning. She stood and did some runs, even though she'd been warmed up all morning.

* * *

><p>Matt and Rachel stood on the stage together, heads down. Lights came up behind them, lighting up the piano that James sat at. Only the black outlines of Matt and Rachel were visible. In the crowd, Mr. and Mrs. Solomon sat down in their reserved front row seats. James began to play the piano. Already emotional, Rachel felt her eyes prick with tears at the lovely, familiar sound. Then the beat that Matt had put together came over the speakers. Rachel turned and began to sing.<p>

(**Rachel,** _Matt,_ _**Both**_)

**Yeah, you could be the greatest****  
><strong>**You can be the best****  
><strong>**You can be the King Kong banging on your chest**

Matt turned around and sang his part.

_You could beat the world__  
><em>_You could beat the war__  
><em>_You could talk to God, go banging on his door_

Rachel and Matt began the dance that they had put together. Rachel was barefoot, and looked gorgeous in her dress. She and Matt moved smoothly together, totally in sync.

**You can throw your hands up****  
><strong>**You can beat the clock****  
><strong>**You can move a mountain**  
><strong>You can break rocks<strong>_  
><em>_You can be a master__  
><em>_Don't wait for luck__  
><em>_Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself_

The song picked up, as more instruments were added in. Brittany. Mike, Santana and Blaine came out and joined in the dance behind them, adding the oooo's to the song.

**Standing in the hall of fame** (_yeah_)  
><strong>And the world's gonna know your name<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>Cause you burn with the brightest flame<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>And the world's gonna know your name<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame<strong>

Rachel felt the adrenaline she always got from performing, rushing through her veins. She jumped into the next verse and the crowd was on its feet.

**You can go the distance****  
><strong>**You can run the mile****  
><strong>**You can walk straight through hell with a smile**

Once again Rachel awed everybody with her ability to dance hip-hop.

_You could be the hero__  
><em>_You could get the gold__  
><em>_Breaking all the records that thought never could be broke_

**Do it for your people****  
><strong>**Do it for your pride****  
><strong>**How you ever gonna know if you never even try?****  
><strong>  
><em>Do it for your country<em>_  
><em>_Do it for your name__  
><em>_**Cause there's gonna be a day**_

**When your standing in the hall of fame** (_yeah_)  
><strong>And the world's gonna know your name<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>Cause you burn with the brightest flame<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>And the world's gonna know your name<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame<strong>  
><em><br>__**Be a champion, be a champion, be a champion, be a champion**_

**On the walls of the hall of fame**

The rest of the club got on stage. The dance became slightly militaristic and the crowd ate it all up, cheering.

**Be students****  
><strong>**Be teachers****  
><strong>**Be politicians****  
><strong>**Be preachers **

**Be believers****  
><strong>**Be leaders****  
><strong>**Be astronauts****  
><strong>**Be champions****  
><strong>**Be truth seekers****  
><strong>  
><em><strong>Be students<strong>__**  
><strong>__**Be teachers**__**  
><strong>__**Be politicians**__**  
><strong>__**Be preachers**__**Be believers**__**  
><strong>__**Be leaders**__**  
><strong>__**Be astronauts**__**  
><strong>__**Be champions**_**  
><strong>  
><strong>Standing in the hall of fame<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>And the world's gonna know your name<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>Cause you burn with the brightest flame<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>And the world's gonna know your name<strong> (_yeah_)  
><strong>And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame<strong>

**(You can be a champion)**  
><em>You could be the greatest<em>  
><strong>(You can be a champion)<strong>**  
><strong>_You can be the best_  
><strong>(You can be a champion)<strong>**  
><strong>_You can be the king kong banging on your chest_

**(You can be a champion)**  
><em>You could beat the world<em>  
><strong>(You can be a champion)<strong>  
><em>You could beat the war<em>_  
><em>**(You can be a champion)****  
><strong>_You could talk to God, go banging on his door_

**(You can be a champion)****  
><strong>_You can throw your hands up_  
><strong>(You can be a champion)<strong>  
><em>You can beat the clock<em>_  
><em>**(You can be a champion)**  
><em>You can move a mountain<em>  
><strong>(You can be a champion)<strong>**  
><strong>_You can break rocks_

**(You can be a champion)**  
><em>You can be a master<em>  
><strong>(You can be a champion)<strong>  
><em>Don't wait for luck<em>  
><strong>(You can be a champion)<strong>  
><em>Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself<em>_  
><em>**(You can be a champion)**

**Standing in the hall of fame**

The crowd went crazy. Rachel ran off quickly to get her heels on with Shelby's help. The guys made their way off stage. Rachel and the girls had thought up this song at their sleepover. Brittany had taken the song and come up with fun choreography.

Brittany moved to the front and began the song. She pulled a pair of black hipster glasses out the top of her dress and put them on as she sang the first line.

_It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters  
>And make fun of our exes, ah ah, ah ah.<em>

Santana stepped up beside Brittany, taking her hand and leading her to the rest of the girls. While Santana sauntered, Brittany skipped, smiling brightly.

_It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight  
>To fall in love with strangers, ah ah, ah ah.<br>_

Tina stepped up among all the girls and went through all of the facial emotions needed.

Yeah,  
><em>We're happy free confused and lonely at the same time<br>It's miserable and magical, oh, yeah  
>Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines<br>It's time  
><em>

The girls all began to sing, beginning the cute choreography that left everybody smiling, the crowd was on their feet clapping in record time.

_**Oh oh!  
>I don't know about you<br>But I'm feeling 22  
>Everything will be alright<br>If you keep me next to you  
>You don't know about me<br>But I'll bet you want to  
>Everything will be alright<br>If we just keep dancing like we're  
>22<br>22  
><strong>_

Quinn stepped up and sang the next part. Rachel put in the speaking part.

_It seems like one of those nights,  
>This place is too crowded.<br>Too many cool kids, ah ah, ah ah (who's New Directions anyway? ugh)  
><em>

Quinn and Rachel continued the verse continued and while they did, each girl went and grabbed a guy from offstage to be their partner.

_It seems like one of those nights,  
>We ditch the whole scene and end up dreaming<br>Instead of sleeping._

Brittany and Tina took the next part, harmonizing with each other beautifully.

_Yeah,  
>We're happy free confused and lonely in the best way<br>It's miserable and magical, oh, yeah  
>Tonight's the night when we forget about the<em> heartbreaks  
>It's<em> time<em>

_**Oh oh!**_  
><em><strong>I don't know about you<strong>_  
><em><strong>But I'm feeling 22<strong>_  
><em><strong>Everything will be alright<strong>_  
><em><strong>If you keep me next to you<strong>_  
><em><strong>You don't know about me<strong>_  
><em><strong>But I'll bet you want to<strong>_  
><em><strong>Everything will be alright (alright)<strong>_  
><em><strong>If we just keep dancing like we're<strong>_  
><em><strong>22<strong>_  
><em><strong>22<strong>_  
><em><strong>I don't know about you<strong>_  
><em><strong>22<strong>_  
><em><strong>22<strong>_

The girls rotated through, each singing a line.

_**It feels like one of those nights,**_  
><em>We ditch the whole scene.<em>  
><em><strong>It feels like one of those nights,<strong>_  
><em>We won't be sleeping.<em>  
><strong><em>It feels like one of those nights,<em>**  
><em>You look like bad news,<em>  
><em>I gotta have you,<em>

_I gotta have you._

_ooooooo, Yeah!_

_I don't know about you_  
><em>But I'm feeling 22<em>  
><em>Everything will be alright<em>  
><em>If you keep me next to you<em>  
><em>You don't know about me (you don't know about me)<em>  
><em>But I'll bet you want to<em>  
><em>Everything will be alright<em>  
><em>If we just keep dancing like we're<em>  
><em>22<em>  
><em>22<em>  
><em>22, yeah, yeah<em>  
><em>22, yeah, yeah<em>

**_It feels like one of those nights,_**  
><em>We ditch the whole scene<em>  
><strong><em>It feels like one of those nights,<em>**  
><em>We won't be sleeping<em>  
><strong><em>It feels like one of those nights,<em>**  
><em>You look like bad news,<em>  
><em>I gotta have you,<em>

Rachel stepped up and sang the last line, smiling brightly, holding James' hand since he'd been her partner.

_I gotta have you._

The crowd cheered, louder than before. But Rachel wasn't conscious of them. She wasn't conscious of the rest of the club leaving the stage. It had been debated all week whether Rachel should be on the stage for James' performance, and she'd been glad that she was. She'd learned a piano duet with him. She had played when she'd been little, and it had felt good to play again. James and Rachel sat down on a piano bench on a keyboard that faced the crowd. There were several spotlights shining brightly on them. The crowd quieted. James' mike was brought out by a stage hand. James began playing a little, then said into the mike.

"There's this girl. She's my everything. I believe I don't deserve her. I've hurt her. But she won't let me leave. I really don't know where I would be without her. And now I have to leave. This song is for her." James finished speaking and leaned down to kiss Rachel's jawline. She looked up at him, and held his gaze. She nodded and put her hands on the keys, ready for him. They began playing together, just as they'd practiced. Then James began to sing

**I've waited a hundred years****  
>But I'd wait a million more for you<br>Nothing prepared me for**

Rachel felt tears in her eyes, and soon they were rolling down her cheeks.

**What the privilege of being yours would do**

Rachel couldn't help but think back to the end of their first summer together. She thought that she would have to say goodbye then. But she hadn't said goodbye. This time she had to. For him.

**If I had only felt the warmth within your touch  
>If I had only seen how you smile when you blush<br>Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough  
>Well I would have known<br>What I was living for all along  
>What I've been living for<strong>

Their stolen moments of pure happiness flashed though her mind. Being so close to James, and now knowing how far he would be.

**Your love is my turning page  
>Where only the sweetest words remain<br>Every kiss is a cursive line  
>Every touch is a redefining phrase<strong>

James looked at Rachel, a promise in his eyes as he sang the next line.

**I surrender who I've been for who you are  
>For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart<br>If I had only felt how it feels to be yours  
>Well I would have known<br>What I've been living for all along  
>What I've been living for<strong>

Though we're tethered, to the story we must tell  
>When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well<br>With the whisper, we will tame the vicious scenes  
>Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees<p>

The crowd was silent. James hadn't cried. He looked at Rachel.

Her fingers were still on the piano keys, but not playing. They were shaking. He took her hands in his. They were icy cold. Then he wrapped his arms tightly around her small frame, enveloping her completely in his arms. Rachel clasped her hands behind his back, never intending to let him go. Then as a whole the crowd stood on its feet and cheered, the rest of New Directions came out, took their bows and then the curtain closed. After fifteen seconds, Rachel pulled back. James carefully wiped the tears off her cheeks. She looked up at him and he kissed her forehead.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you," he said.

* * *

><p>Rachel sat in Santana's kitchen, watching as James talked to all of the guys, saying his goodbyes, promising to text them. He was allowed to text them. But not her. Just pictures and songs. She looked away, focusing on the glint of the 1st place trophy in the low lighting. Santana had called a victory party at her house. James had wanted to stop by to talk to all the glee clubbers, to say goodbye. Rachel had obliged. She took a sip of her water.<p>

Just then Santana came up beside her.

"Rachel will you come with me?" she asked. Rachel nodded and followed her, unsure of where they were going. They went out the back door to Santana's guesthouse.

"I thought your Grandma lived out here," Rachel said as Santana fumbled with the key for the door.

"She moved out a year ago," Santana said, "We redid it, and tonight it's all for you, she said, swinging the door open and pulling Rachel inside. Rachel gasped.

The room was full of candles. It had exposed brick walls with elegant white and turquoise design everywhere. The center of had a huge bed. Rachel turned to Santana.

"Thank you," she said. Santana nodded, with a smile, just then Brittany and Quinn came out of an adjoining bathroom. Quinn had a lighter and Brittany an overnight bag, which she handed to Rachel.

"Go change," she said with a smile. Rachel took the bag and went in the bathroom. There were also candles in there and bath salts. Rachel pulled on her pretty blue night shift. It was the softest cotton and she loved it. It had loose three quarter inch sleeves and it was short. She pulled the pins out of her hair, letting it fall down her back, still in perfect ringlets from Regionals. She walked out and saw that the other girls had gone. Rachel made her way to sit in the small reading nook, in the corner, pulling her knees up to her chest.

She sighed, shutting her eyes and waited for James. She heard the door open. She opened her eyes and saw James. He smiled at her. She stood and watched him look at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. In one fluid motion they moved towards each other, lips connecting. Rachel smiled into the kiss and began to take off his red suspenders. His lips trailed down her jawline and to her neck.

"I love you," she whispered.


End file.
